


Just Add Water.

by saltsoldier



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Drugging, F/F, M/M, Panic Attack, Slow Burn, Suicide mention, Torture, Vomit Mention, mermaid au, mermanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 52,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6172591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltsoldier/pseuds/saltsoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Person A is a modern merperson who works as a Marine Biologist. Person B is the only one to think that something weird is up with Person A (talking to the sea creatures, animals obeying them, avoiding direct contact with water despite their line of work, ect.)</p><p>Who is up for another cliché Fenders mermaid au?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something Fishy.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's what you need to know:  
> There are two Hawkes, magic is still a thing (though nobody knows that Anders has magic for reasons that will become apparent) and everybody works at a one of those conservation centres where people can swim with dolphins (I know fuck all about marine biology so forgive me everything I know is from the internet, if you want to yell at my ignorance in the comments feel free I guess) and H2O: Just Add Water mermaid rules apply (hence the totally unoriginal title). Also discount Merribela.

There was something not quite right about Doctor Anders.

Fenris didn’t know what it was exactly, there was just something… fishy about him.

The man had been working at the Dolphin Conservation site long before Fenris had landed a job there as a security guard. To begin with he had simply written Anders off as an annoying but talented man, amazing when it came to the sea life that the conservation centre hosted but good for little else. He was argumentative, hot headed, opinionated and about as subtle as a brick. Fenris had taken an almost immediate dislike to him.

Somehow this atrocity of a human being had managed to make friends, in fact many of the people that Fenris seemed to spend time with were also acquainted with the veterinarian. It meant that Fenris had to spend a lot more time in the presence of the man than he ever wanted to, and it was the reason he began to notice the strange things about him.

The most striking thing that concerned Fenris about Anders was the fact that despite being an aquatic vet the man had never once been seen in the water with the animals that he was in charge of caring for. How did he manage to do his job if he never went in the water with the animals? The other vets did. Even those who weren’t technically required to be in the water found their way there with the animals at some point, Fenris himself had and he was only a security guard, yet the man being paid to do so seemed almost… _afraid_ of the water. Maybe that was it.

He decided to ask the others about it on a night when Anders was too busy to join their usual weekly card game, convinced that it was just bad timing and that the others must have seen Anders in the water with the animals at some point. He was surprised to find that nobody had seen him dip so much as a toe in the water. Nobody else seemed to find this suspicious though. Garrett Hawke had just laughed his usual, booming laugh while his sister, Marian, elbowed him in an attempt to keep him quiet. Merrill had babbled at him, something about Anders having delicate skin and hearing him make excuses about reacting poorly to salt water when somebody else had asked him about it. Isabela, who Fenris was starting to doubt even had a job at the conservation site and probably just snuck on the site to spend time with her girlfriend, was more interested in sitting in said girlfriend’s lap than talking about the suspicious vet. Merrill continued to babble even as Isabela was grinding down on her and pressing kisses into the crook of her neck, seemingly unaware of the other woman’s intentions. The only evidence she noticed the woman in her lap at all was the telltale blush that crept into her cheeks. That was somebody else that Fenris thought of as suspicious, nobody could be so disturbingly naïve and academically gifted at the same time, especially if they were a _mage_.

“… so odd, I’ve never heard of somebody being allergic to salt water. Is it a human thing? It’s very strange.” The little elf continued, though nobody seemed to be paying her much attention with the exception of Isabela who was paying her a very different, rather inappropriate form of attention.

It was a surprise when Varric responded to the witch’s incoherent chatter and redirected the conversation back to Fenris’ original point.

“I don’t know how he does it but Blondie is damn good at his job. So long as it’s not effecting his work, which it’s not, does it really matter?” the dwarf asked, leaning back in his chair as he addressed the table, revealing a rather impressive amount of his chest hair. Maker he had so much chest hair.

Fenris shocked everybody by standing suddenly and slamming his hands on the table top, even Isabela was distracted from her task of laying kisses on every inch of Merrill’s skin, a feat not easily achieved.

“Does nobody else take issue with this? There is clearly something going on, something… _strange_. How can you all be so callous?” he spat at the for once silent table.

“Look Fenris, Anders is our friend. So what if he has an aversion to water? As his friends it’s our job to support him, not to make him feel shitty about… whatever his issue is.” Garrett began, running his hand across his beard the way he did when he was being serious, which was rare.

“Garrett is right. Everyone has a right to their secrets, Fenris. If he wants to talk about it then he knows where to find us, until then we respect his privacy.” Marian declared, fixing him with an icy glare. He hated how those bright blue eyes always seemed to find him, how they had so much control over what he did.

He huffed, grabbed his jacket in one swift motion and stormed out, unable to handle any more of his friends’ complete disregard for his concern. Behind him he heard Garrett make a move to follow him but thankfully Marian stopped him and Fenris was able to make his escape. That woman always seemed to know exactly what he needed before he did, when to follow and when to leave him to his own devices. Right now he hated her for it, mostly because he knew deep down that she was right.

He didn’t even know why he cared so much. He didn’t care about Anders, not in the slightest. He had wanted nothing to do with him, he should heed his own advice and avoid the man, that’s what a sensible person would do. And yet… it was just too suspicious. Something about the vet put him on edge, he was hiding something, something dangerous. His instincts were rarely ever wrong, that’s what made him so good at his job, and right now they were _screaming_ at him. What if he was right and it was a dangerous secret? What if by ignoring it somebody got hurt, one of his friends maybe. No, he couldn’t just ignore this. As he pulled on his coat in short, sharp movements and made his way through the dark, empty streets he found his resolve. He would not be idle, he would find whatever it was Anders was hiding and expose whatever dangerous secrets the man kept. Fenris felt his lips curl into an almost sinister smile. He’d begin his investigation tomorrow.


	2. The Gloves.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris begins his investigation.

Fenris ran into the vet on his way into work and had to stop himself from laughing at his luck. If he was frivolous enough to believe in something as ridiculous as destiny he would say that this was it. As it was he managed to school his expression into the usual sneer as Anders met the glare with his typical grimace. This was their customary greeting, and it was usually followed by silence or heated arguing, today the men favoured the former and continued on without a word, their eyes locked.

For the good doctor nothing had changed but it certainly had for Fenris. Determination burned through his veins the way lyrium did. His gaze lingered on those strange, golden eyes for just a second too long and the veterinarian seemed to take notice, his own eyes widening for a moment before he turned away and quickened his pace in an effort to get away from the elf. Fenris let him go for now, figuring out what was wrong with the man would take patience and careful observation and it was better if he was unaware of Fenris’ newfound interest in him.

In the end Fenris had to wait until his lunchbreak before he had a chance to observe Anders at work. He was surprised to find him crouched near the water by one of the dolphins, scribbling furiously at a sheet pinned to his clipboard. For a fleeting moment he wondered how the man would react if he snuck up behind him and simply pushed him into the water. He shook his head and dismissed the thought immediately. What if he was hiding some kind of water related trauma, or he couldn’t swim? What if it wasn’t a dangerous secret he guarded so jealously and it was simply something very personal? He didn’t think it was at all likely but still, it was a boundary he would not cross, not if there was even the slightest chance of actually causing harm. Fenris was many things but he was not a cruel man, even his distrust for Anders would not change that.

He felt a hand clap harshly on his shoulder and he practically jumped out of his skin. He had been so consumed by thought that he had not heard Garrett Hawke walking up behind him, which was surprising considering the man was about as stealthy as a herd of druffalo. He turned to face that ridiculous, strangely endearing grin the man always had plastered to his face and felt a blush creep into his cheeks as he realized what he had just been caught doing. He opened his mouth to explain himself but Garrett cut him off and began leading him towards Anders with an arm around his shoulder.

“Hey, I was just about to grab Anders for lunch. Is it your lunch hour too? Beth’s here, she brought some of mom’s lemon squares.” Garrett proclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the mention of the lemon squares. He knew how much his grizzly elven friend loved those.

Said grizzly elf rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be swept along, grateful that Garrett was seemingly unaware that he had been watching the veterinarian at work. Usually he would be reluctant to spend even a modicum of his free time with Anders but the promise of lemon squares and the opportunity to observe Anders won him over.

“Anders! It’s lunch time.” Garrett sang, startling the veterinarian almost as much as he had Fenris.

The Elf’s critical green gaze missed nothing and he immediately took note of the fact that Anders was wearing gloves. He’d only been writing notes and yet he had taken the precaution of wearing a rather thick pair of waterproof gloves. Why? Was his aversion to water that strong?

Anders’ eyes skimmed over Fenris and landed on Hawke, his lips twitching up in the slightest of smiles as he ignored Fenris’ presence all together.

“No can do, I’m afraid. Too busy.” Anders claimed, going back to writing his notes. Fenris noted that he was having some difficulty doing so with those gloves yet he made no move to take them off.

“But Beth’s here. With lemons squares. You aren't going to disappoint my little sister are you? She came all this way…” Garrett replied, his lip trembling in a ridiculous pout that should not be befitting on a man of his sheer size.

“She only works down the road.” Anders pointed out, but he was already packing away and in preparation for his lunch break. Garrett grinned in triumph and clapped his free arm around Anders the moment he was on his feet, sweeping both of them away from the water and towards the break room.


	3. Lunch Date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments are had and accidents happen.

It seemed that everyone was convening for lunch today, with the exception of Carver Hawke. The younger Hawke was a Templar recruit now after all, he had little time for lunch dates with his siblings and their friends. Fenris thought better than to mention his absence, the subject still being sensitive with his family, and instead focused his attention on Carver’s twin sister.

Bethany, one of the few mages that he trusted, was handing out lemon squares with a bright, sunny smile. Isabela was sitting next to her, this time with Merrill draped over her instead of the other way around. He began to wonder if he would ever see them together without one of them clinging to the other in some obscene display of public affection. Fenris had never been big on touching, especially in public, but ex-slaves tended to have such aversions so perhaps it was just him. Looking at Aveline’s tight frown as she watched them had him questioning that logic, but he didn’t have the brain space to concern himself with that so he just let it go. Marian and Varric were oblivious to everybody else as the chatted away, smirking at each other as they joked and quipped. Everyone looked relaxed and happy, even Fenris had to smile just a little.

Garrett interrupted whatever Bethany was saying by mussing up her hair affectionately, causing her to protest loudly. He took the seat in between her and Marian before giving his other sister the same treatment. She shot him a deadly glare, and while anybody else would have cowered her twin brother remained undeterred, as usual.

That left only two seats. Anders sat beside Merrill and Fenris was silently thankful he wouldn’t have to sit by the smaller elf and her affectionate lover as he placed himself between Anders and Aveline. Several conversations seem to be happening simultaneously and almost everybody was distracted by their food. Marian, Varric and Aveline had already started eating, while Bethany seemed more concerned with making sure everybody got some of the food she was handing out to consider eating anything herself. Isabela was attempting to feed Merrill a strawberry while the little mage was trying to insist she could feed herself, completely oblivious to Isabela’s sexual agenda. Fenris, Garrett and Anders were still in the process of getting their lunchboxes out.

Fenris was unable to hold back the sound of his disgust as the smell of fish hit him like a truck. The man beside him had finally opened his lunch box and it was fish. Again. The man seemed to live entirely off of fish. For somebody who was deathly afraid of water he sure ate like he belonged in it.

“Oh I’m sorry, is my meal offending you? Can I not even eat in peace now?” Anders spat, eyeing Fenris up in a way that made his face look oh so very _punchable_.

“It’s fish. It’s disgusting and…” he peered deliberately into the open lunch box to confirm his fears. “It’s raw.”

 “Blondie eats so much fish I’m afraid he’ll turn into one any day now!” Varric cut in from across the table, followed by a few chuckles from their friends.

Fenris noted the look of surprise that smoothed Anders features before he too began to laugh, albeit nervously. Varric’s well timed interruption had the desired effect and the situation was defused for the time being, though Fenris was still shooting daggers at the man beside him as he tucked into his fish with unnecessary gusto. Things remained peaceful until Aveline was foolish enough to bring up the absent Hawke sibling.

“So, how is Carver?” she asked, effectively killing any other conversation at the table.

The three Hawke siblings suddenly looked at a loss, Garrett in particular seemed upset. Everybody else watched them expectantly, their eyes flitting between the three dark haired siblings, waiting for one of them to say something, _anything_. In the end Bethany was the one who spoke up, her smile tight and pained.

“He’s happy. They keep him busy, at least.” She confessed, unable to say anything more.

Anders made a noise of disgust beside him, almost rival to that of Fenris in response to fish. After suffering the petty little annoyances Anders had inflicted upon him with his choice of meal the noise set him off, made him whip around and snap at the vet.

“Have something to say?” he snarled, provoking the veterinarian as easily as he himself had been incited. He almost smiled at how easily riled up the other man was, but he was too pissed to do anything but sneer.

“What do you think?” Anders snapped back, causing everybody around them to groan. This would be perhaps their tenth argument on the subject of Templars and the others had long since given up on trying to get them to stop screaming at each other.

“The work the Templars do is important. Magic cannot be trusted.” Fenris insisted.

“You say that surrounded by your mage friends? Would you want to see them dragged away?” Anders retorted.

“You’re being dramatic-”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Is the loss of liberty-“

“Loss of liberty? What would you know about that?”

They were both on their feet, noses so close that they were nearly brushing.

“Do not speak to me about something you know nothing of!” Fenris hissed, his blood burning under his skin at the hypocrisy and superiority his rival seemed to radiate.

Anders looked ready to fight back, inching impossibly closer to Fenris. As they both reached out to grab at each other’s clothing it suddenly became very clear that this was going to get physical. Marian was the first to her feet but Merrill was closer, she reached across the table in an effort to get in between them before any punches could be thrown, knocking her water bottle over and spilling its contents down Anders’ leg.

Fenris’ first reaction was to snigger at Anders’ misfortune, however the look of horror that spread over Anders’ face killed any hint of laughter that might have escaped him. Before confusion could settle in Anders span and ran out of the room, leaving before anybody could say or do anything to stop him. For a long moment everybody was frozen, their shared confusion palpable. Marian was the first to move as she was already on her feet, chasing after Anders with a look of concern. Garrett followed closely behind her in her pursuit of Anders wearing an identical expression. The rest of them sat there, stewing in their confusion.

Fenris sat back down quietly, his mind racing. Anders hadn’t just stormed out, he’d sprinted to get away, had gone as fast as his legs could carry him. Fenris may not like the man but he knew Anders well enough to see that this behaviour was bizarre. If the sudden urge to flee in the face of soggy trousers wasn’t weird enough the fact that he had left mid argument was striking. For as long as he had knew him Anders had _never_ backed down from an argument, he always had to have the last word, had to fight until there was nothing left to say and yet he had just given up and ran, all because Merrill has spilt a little water.

The little elf in question was currently being consoled by Isabela, Varric and Bethany, though she still looked rather guilty, as if she had just struck Anders instead of spilling water on him. None of them understood, had Merrill upset him or had it been Fenris and his harsh words? What exactly had they done to cause such a reaction? After a few moments two out of breath Hawkes returned to the room, shaking their heads.

“We can’t find him. He’s gone.” Garrett announced, sounding defeated.

While Garrett was looking decidedly miserable Marian had a face like thunder and she was glaring at _him_. He forced himself not to flinch under the heavy burden of her gaze, hating every second of it.

“But he left his lunch box, and his bag!” Merrill gasped.

“Yes, well, he’s gone.” Marian forced out, and though he was no longer looking at her Fenris was sure that the waves of disapproval he could feel coming from her were being directed at him specifically. It seemed that he would bear the brunt of the blame in Marian’s eyes.

With all the drama nobody noticed the lunch hour had ended until Aveline kindly pointed it out to them. Everybody packed up their belongings, occasionally glancing over at Anders’ abandoned lunch. Nobody quite knew what to do with his things, whether they should leave them for Anders to collect himself or whether they should collect them for him. It was unexpected even to himself when he began to pack Anders’ disgusting lunch into his bag, taking responsibility for the items.

“What are you doing?” Isabela asked, one perfect eyebrow raised in question.

“I will return his belongings to him after work. He cannot leave without them.” Fenris stated simply.

He watched out of the corner of his eye to see Marian’s reaction. For a moment she stood in quiet contemplation, then she smiled a little and nodded in approval. Apparently she thought this was a good idea, maybe she assumed he would take the opportunity to make amends. He had no such intention, however having possession of Anders’ lunchbox was an excuse to seek him out, to try and find out just what was going on with him. He felt the pockets of the coat that Anders had abandoned and had to supress a grin when he heard the jingle of keys. No, Anders would not be going anywhere without his belongings, and Fenris would have a chance to confront him.


	4. Siren Song.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things do not go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been leaving lovely comments/kudos/bookmarks and the like. You dudes make my day.

Fenris left his post a little earlier than usual at the end of the day, Aveline had insisted upon it. It was already quite late, much of the staff had left or were on their way home although he knew Anders had not yet joined them. Aveline was concerned that he would miss him but it was highly unlikely. For one thing Fenris had his keys, he couldn’t leave even if he wanted to, and then there was the fact that the man seemed to be constantly overworking himself and was always spending more time there than the others did. Fenris didn’t know what could possibly be keeping him here so late but Varric was in charge and he trusted Anders to stay on the site even after he himself had left for the night. It was just another curious thing about the man that Fenris was going to have to investigate.

He found him shuffling around one of the labs all by himself, sorting through papers and looking generally busy. He didn’t seem to notice Fenris but that was not unusual. The elf was surprisingly lithe and light on his feet, years of hard work and training made him practically invisible when he wanted to be. He had no intention to spy on Anders as he did his paperwork though, he would return his belongings and see if he could get any information out of him the old fashioned way; by asking. That was the plan, it was short and simple, nothing complicated about it.

Then Anders had started to sing to himself.

An absent part of his mind wondered what language it was he was hearing. It was nothing Fenris had ever heard before, although it sounded like a northern dialect, the words harsh and precise. Each sound seemed to drag him further forward, captivating him in a way he had never experienced before. The need to be closer to that song, to find the source and… he didn’t even know. He just had to be close, had to…

Somehow he was already behind Anders, so close, _so close_ to that hypnotic voice but still not enough, never enough. He wasn’t even aware of his hand reaching out and gripping Anders’ wrist, of his other arm snaking around his body and grabbing his hip, forcibly turning him so that they were finally face to face.

He could see the shock, the confusion and then the horror again, the same dreadful expression he had seen earlier when he had raced out of the room flit across Anders’ features. It didn’t matter to him though, his quest to get closer was not yet over. He pressed his body against Anders’, forced forward, pushing him back towards the desk when he suddenly noticed the song had stopped.

It was like a fog had been lifted and the two men were left pressed against each other, horror reflected on each of their faces. Anders free hand came up to cover his mouth and Fenris wrenched himself back, overcome by shame, embarrassment and confusion. Why had he done that? What had possessed him to put himself against the other man as Isabela and Merrill always did, like a _lover_? He always scoffed at such casual contact and yet he had initiated it, and with _Anders_ no less. He was not blind, Anders was an attractive man, but he was also annoying, infuriating, hypocritical, foolish, secretive…

“I- I didn’t hear you come in.” Anders spluttered, his face as white as sheet.

Fenris felt his stomach sink. He would most certainly not appreciate anybody laying hands on him as he had just done to Anders and yet he had gone touched him all the same. And now Anders looked ill, repulsed by Fenris’ unwanted touch and rightly so. He should apologise, beg for forgiveness, try to explain the strange feeling that had overcome him… He flushed crimson and did none of those things, instead slamming the bag he had come to return on the desk and storming off. He could hear Anders calling after him, shouting his name, but he did not stop. If he tried to explain himself he would just sound like a pervert, or a madman. Maybe even both. He couldn’t handle the mockery that Anders would surely give him, especially not from somebody who despised him, who would use it against him…

When he got home he drank until everything was numb, until he could forget the feeling of his hands on slender hips, of golden eyes and a voice so heartbreakingly beautiful it made him want to cry. He drank until all of that was gone, until the shame and confusion of experiencing such things had left him, a problem to deal with tomorrow.


	5. Regret.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris is brooding and Anders is sorry.

“You look like shit.”

Fenris glared up at Garrett Hawke. The man was as eloquent as ever, it would seem.

He was on his third cup of coffee of the day and he had only been awake for a few dreadful hours. This was why he didn’t drink on weekdays, not unless… he felt himself flush involuntarily as he thought of what had brought him to drink like that. He was honestly surprised that Hawke wasn’t teasing him, or Isabela for that matter. Maybe Anders hadn’t had a chance to tell them about it yet, or maybe he was waiting until he could really have a good laugh over it. Fenris put his empty mug down with more force than was necessary and turned to leave only to spin back around immediately when he saw who was at the door.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, and appeared he had. Anders entered the room, politely greeting Garrett, Isabela and Aveline who were still sipping at their morning coffee. Fenris groaned and swore under his breath, hand covering his face as if this action would block out the world. He listened for conversation, trying to hear if Anders was about to out him as the weirdo he was. He heard no such thing, only footsteps directly behind him.

“Uh, Fenris, do you have a moment?”

He span around, not believing what he had heard or who he had heard it from. Anders was standing before him, awkwardly fidgeting from foot to foot as everybody in the room, Fenris included, looked at him as if he had just announced he would be the next Divine. This was not what Fenris had expected, no, it was _much worse_. The teasing? Maybe he could live with that, but being directly confronted? No. No he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t handle it. He pushed past the taller man and made for the door, only to be stopped when a hand grabbed him at the elbow, effectively stopping him.

“Please, this is important.” Anders insisted.

Amber met green and for a moment he was resolved to wrench his arm free and get away as fast as he could, but then he remembered his audience. Hawke and Aveline looked gobsmacked and of course Isabela was grinning like a Cheshire cat, watching them intently.

“Venhedis.” Fenris swore, gesturing to the door leading to the hallway. At least there they would have some privacy and Fenris wouldn’t have to worry about the peanut gallery.

He moved, acutely aware of Anders following him and Isabela whining in disappointment at their retreat. Once they were behind the safety of the door he leant against the wall and awaited the oncoming onslaught, unable to bring himself to meet Anders’ gaze. For a moment there was a terrible silence, one that made him consider just swearing and storming off, but before he could take action Anders spoke.

“I wanted to apologise for yesterday.” Anders said quietly. Fenris felt his heart plummet.

“Apologise? You have nothing to apologise for. It is I who acted unacceptably…” he began.

This was meant to be an apology, he had intended for it to be when he began speaking, and yet the word ‘sorry’ had not left him once. Was he so stupid, so irreparably broken that he couldn’t even apologise when he was wrong? Why could this catastrophe of a man apologise to him when he was innocent and yet Fenris couldn’t offer the same courtesy despite his obvious guilt?

“No, no, you did nothing wrong, honestly.” Anders insisted.

“But-“

“No. Let’s just… forget about it, okay? Pretend it never happened.”

Fenris snapped his head up at that. He wanted to forget about it?

“You want… what? You’re not going to gloat or, or tell the others?” he stuttered. It was rare for him to be so taken aback, and he decided in that moment that he did not appreciate the feeling.

“Um, no. Let’s just, keep this between us.”

Fenris had never looked so confused in his life.

“But… _why_?”

Anders just shrugged and took a step back, ready to take his leave. Fenris let him go, brain working overtime to try to comprehend what had just happened. Anders was half way down the hall when he turned back and threw another curveball at him.

“Oh, and thank you. For bringing me my stuff yesterday.”

With that he turned and left Fenris alone in the hallway in stunned silence.


	6. Eavesdropping.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris jumps to conclusions.

Fenris had avoided Anders for the rest of the week, he had needed to for his own sake. Their conversation replayed itself over and over in his head and he was at a loss for what to do. This was the nicest Anders had ever been to him and it was in response to Fenris grabbing him without his consent. What was wrong with this man? What was wrong with _him_?

Because of this it was an accident the next time Fenris noticed him doing something weird. There were no elaborate plans or ulterior motives, just honest coincidence. They had both been going about their business, doing their jobs. Fenris was making his rounds and Anders was working with the Dolphins. Normal, typical, everyday.

Then it got weird.

Fenris came into earshot without Anders noticing him, his attention was firmly on the dolphin he was talking to. Fenris suppressed a groan, of course he was one of _those_. He had noticed the excessive cat paraphernalia Anders owned, how could he not? Of course he would coo at animals like a fool. He stopped to listen to exactly what it was the veterinarian was saying out of curiosity, readying himself for whatever ridiculous nonsense he was about to hear.

“-has your health been? Anything out of the ordinary, no?” he asked, as if he were talking to a person, not a dolphin.

The dolphin made an unintelligible string of high pitched noises that seemed to leave Anders exasperated before it began to swim away from him, chittering to itself.

“Hey, get back here! I haven’t finished your evaluation yet.” Anders called.

Then the strangest thing happened.

The dolphin _listened_ to him.

It actually swam back towards him and waited patiently as Anders wrote something on the clipboard.

“Really, you have to tell me if anything has changed, I can’t help you if you don’t say anything.”

Fasta vass, he had actually lost it hadn’t he? No, there was no way he believed that this man was actually having a conversation with a dolphin that wasn’t entirely one sided.

“Oh really? Hmm, I’ll have to check that out. And your fin?”

More chittering.

“Good. I’ll see you toni- Fenris!” Anders cried out, finally noticing the security guard’s presence. He was shocked, but his look of panic had nothing on Fenris’.

“You- you were talking. To that dolphin. You were talking to it.” He sputtered stupidly, pointing an accusing finger at the offending mammal. He had seen Marian and Garrett with the dolphins, communicating with them took a lot of training and was heavily reliant on hand gestures. In no circumstances should one be able to respond so strongly to voice alone.

“Oh well, it helps me think. Like voicing your thoughts. You know how it is.” Anders explained, running a hand through his hair.

Anders had a terrible poker face, Fenris couldn’t remember him ever winning at cards and right now he was pulling the exact same face he always did when he had an extraordinarily crappy hand. It was the face of a liar.

Fenris narrowed his eyes at him, searching his features for anything that might betray him further. Anders took this silence as a chance to escape, gathering up his clipboard and his medical bag and absconding back into the building behind the pool without another word.

This was wrong. Fenris glared at the dolphin, noting that it only swam away once Anders had retreated. The man had been talking to the dolphin, he had understood it’s chittering, had gotten information out of it apparently. That wasn’t natural, no that was, it had to be…

It was magic.

Fenris felt himself sneer. Of course, it all made sense. The singing, the loss of control, how secretive he was and now talking to animals… The man was a mage. But why hide it? He was a part of the Hawke Twin’s merry band of misfits. Garrett, Bethany and Merrill were all mages, surely he had no reason to hide it from them. And then the fear of water, what was that about? Maybe he would melt like the witches in old films if he got wet. Despite himself Fenris had to snort at that mental image.

Maybe this was all worse than he had originally thought. Merrill was a blood mage, an _actual maleficarum_ , but even she had revealed her nature to the Hawkes and their friends. Whatever Anders was it had to be worse, worse than a blood mage somehow. Maybe he was an abomination. Some kind of terrible demon wearing the skin of an unassuming veterinarian, waiting for the day it could… no. Fenris couldn’t think like that. Whatever plans, whatever evil deeds Anders may want to commit, he would not get away with them, not while Fenris was alive.

He had to tell Marian about this, and Garrett. With newfound determination he turned on his heel and went off in search of the twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: For the purposes of this fic there is no Justice unfortunately. Sorry friends.


	7. Paranoid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris finds the twins.

“Hawke!”

“Yes?”

“Yeah?”

Fenris shook his head as both of the Hawke twins responded at the same time. There was a moment of shared confusion before they both burst into laughter. On their own they were both Hawke, but when they were together their friends had to resort to using their given names to avoid confusion. Garrett seemed to think this was highly unfair and argued that he was born twenty minutes before Marian therefore he should have dibs on the nickname. Marian response had been to punch him in the stomach and the argument had ended there.

Right now Fenris was in no position to appreciate either of the Hawkes’ frivolities. He stood there, fists clenched, waiting for them to calm down. Both of them were dripping wet, they must have just finished a session, it would explain their good mood. They were instructors, it was their job to help those who visited the site swim with the dolphins. They did this every day and yet it always seemed to fill them with joy. Fenris wondered bitterly what it must be like to do a job that actually excited you.

Marian was the first to notice Fenris’ agitation, she elbowed Garrett and nodded towards him and that was all it took to make the pair sober up.

“What’s wrong?” Garrett asked, his features pulled into a rare frown.

The elf gestured to the door to the labs and they stepped inside, out of the sun’s violent glare and away from any prying ears. He took a moment to ensure they were alone in the lab before turning back towards the twins, his expression grim.

“I need to talk to you. About Anders.”

Garrett rolled his eyes and Marian covered her face in her hand, muttering under her breath.

“For- Fenris you can’t still be going on about this.” Garrett sighed.

Fenris had to suppress his anger, steeling himself with a deep breath.

“I most certainly am. You might be happy enough to ignore his… strangeness but I am not fooled.”

“Fenris, Anders is our friend.” Marian chided.

“Marian, the man is a _mage_.” He stressed.

Finally the two Hawkes began to take him seriously, both of them wearing identical expressions of shock, their eyebrows rising towards their hairlines. The two didn’t look all that alike, Garrett was more like Bethany and Marian shared more similarities with Carver but in moments such as these he could swear the two were almost identical.

“What? That’s ridiculous.” Garrett said, shaking his head in disbelief.

“How can you be sure?” Marian asked, her eyes flickering down to the lyrium lines on his arms, betraying her thoughts.

Fenris grimaced. Usually his lyrium reacted to magic but around Anders… he hadn’t felt anything when the man had been speaking to the dolphin just and when he had sung... Fenris honestly hadn’t cared about anything else, his shirt could have been on fire and he wouldn’t have noticed. Had his lyrium reacted? He simply couldn’t remember.

“I caught him just. Talking to a dolphin.”

Marian looked at him sceptically while Garrett looked outright uncomfortable.

“It was like he was controlling it somehow, telling it what to do. And before when he was singing-“

He cut himself off before he said too much. He would have to confess to the twins what had happened, but the embarrassment he felt was still fresh in his mind. No, he wouldn’t say too much about that if he could help it.

“Singing?” Marian prompted, trying to get him to continue with his train of thought.

“It’s like mind control. Maybe blood magic, I don’t know. But it’s not natural.”

He locked eyes with Marian while Garrett stroked his beard thoughtfully. He saw her searching, trying to find a hint of dishonesty in his face. When she found none she sighed and shifted her weight to her other foot, looking to her brother for some guidance.

“Did you see him cut himself Fenris, did you see any blood when he did either of those things?” Garrett asked.

“No.” he answered meekly.

“Then it’s not magic. There’s no spell in the world strong enough to control minds without the use of blood. It’s simply not possible.”

“Did your lyrium-“ Marian began, only for Fenris to cut her off.

“No.” he snapped.

The twins shared a meaningful look between themselves. Fenris felt like his blood was on fire.

“Fenris, we can talk to Anders, but I think you’re just…“ Garrett trailed off, trying to find the least offensive word he could to describe Fenris’ behaviour.

“Paranoid.” He spat. “Spending your entire life as a slave will do that to you.”

Both of the Hawkes looked suitably horrified.

“I didn’t mean-“ Garrett began.

“I don’t care. If neither of you will take me seriously then I’ll deal with this myself.” Fenris retorted.

Suddenly Marian was in his personal space, her face a mask of seriousness.

“Don’t take this too far, Fenris. Anders is like family to us. You both are. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

He met her gaze for a long moment before sneering and pushing past her, storming towards the door and out into the sunshine. She let him go, both of them did and he was glad of it. He couldn’t rely on either of them, not when it came to anybody within their circle of friends, and that was fine by Fenris. He didn’t need them. He could reach into people’s chests and tear their hearts out, one mage wouldn’t stop him. He had taken on Danarius, killed him in cold blood and he had been a powerful magister. No, he would keep his friends safe and he would do it alone.

He would confront Anders tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Fenris ever finish a conversation without storming off?
> 
> I'm starting to doubt it.


	8. The Confrontation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders and Fenris are actual children.

It was surprisingly easy to get Anders on his own, all it had taken was a little patience. The man was often in his office long after everybody else had left, he had just waited for everybody to leave for the day. Because of this it was dark by the time Fenris was certain they would truly be alone. The centre was almost eerie at this time, without the sun burning down and warming the ground beneath his feet or the usual chatter filling the humid air.

Fenris was quite a sight in the dark. The lines of lyrium etched into his skin that shone with otherworldly light and the natural elven glow in his eyes made him quite terrifying. He had seen people take one look at him and walk to the other side of the road to just avoid him, or in some cases they had turned around completely. Fenris was intimidating at the best of times and truly horrifying at the worst and right now he was grateful for that. He wanted to inspire fear, to let Anders know that he was serious.

He entered the office unannounced, letting the door swing open with more force than was necessary. Anders cried out in shock, standing instinctively. He had been sitting at his computer, typing away with vigour when Fenris had burst in and scared him shitless. It took a moment but when his brain caught up with his panic his fear became anger and he was walking around his desk to confront the elf for his rude intrusion.

“What in the void are you doing here, Fenris? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” he barked, a finger jabbing accusingly at the security guard’s chest. Fenris didn’t back away, instead he moved forward, pushing Anders back towards his desk.

“What do you think, _mage_?” he snapped.

He saw Anders’ face fall, eyes wide as he was caught in his lie. Fenris smirked, smug and satisfied that his choice of words had the desired effect. For a long moment the mage’s expression was vulnerable, then he caught himself and managed to force a laugh.

“What are you talking about?” He barked, trying to feign innocence.

“Don’t lie to me. I’m on to you, _mage_. I know what you are.”

“If you think I’m a mage then clearly you don’t know anything.” Anders snarled.

“You may have the others fooled, but not me.” Fenris continued, ignoring Anders’ lies.

“You’re full of shit.”

“Maybe I should alert the Templars. I’m sure they would be more than happy to clear up any misunderstandings here.” Fenris threatened.

Anders’ face fell again at that and he was suddenly so pale his skin went straight from white to grey in colour. Fenris felt something wicked bloom within him at the sudden shift in his expression.

“You wouldn’t do that to Hawke.” He stated, his voice ever so small.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Fenris conceded, noting how the tension left Anders’ body. “But know this. You’re hiding something, something dangerous, and when I find out what that is…”

Anders growled at him, his eyes so full of hatred that it surprised even Fenris.

“Like I said, you’re full of shit. Now get out of my office, you blighted, paranoid prick!” he cried, forcibly pushing Fenris back towards the door.

Fenris did not appreciate this, he returned the favour and pushed the mage back with so much force that he actually fell to the floor. With one final appraising look he stared down his nose at the man and turned on his heel, out of the door and into the night. He would gain nothing if they fought now, his friends would never forgive him because they still thought Anders was innocent. He would have to bide his time and wait until he had some real evidence, then he could confront Anders properly. For now he would retreat, wait until Anders slipped up. It was all a matter of patience.


	9. Fight or Flight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders makes a decision and our duo reach a stalemate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to hear from Anders for a chapter! Also if you're reading this in real time then there was a double update today (The chapters were both short and I want to get them out of the way so we could get to the good stuff). Be prepared for some longer chapters after this, and thank you for reading!

That blighted elf.

That stubborn, smug son of bitch! Anders was pacing rather violently from one side of his office to the other, barely suppressing the urge to throw something. He had made a life for himself here, for the first time in his adult life he was free to do as he pleased, had friends that cared about him, a job he loved. He had a normal life, or as close to normal as somebody like him could have. Now Fenris was threatening that.

Garrett Hawke had come to his office earlier in the day and had accused him of being a mage. Who else had the elf shared this little theory with Anders wondered. If Garrett knew then there was no doubt that Marian did, and Varric for that matter. He had managed to convince Garrett that Fenirs was just paranoid but the damage was done and now his friends were suspicious. Fenris was trying to start a witch hunt and while the elf wasn’t close to the truth his accusations were dangerous. He had even threatened to alert the Templars… Anders shuddered. No, he would die before he let them take him again.

He had been careless, had gotten too comfortable here. Certain things, such as Merrill’s nearly disastrous spillage, he couldn’t help but the rest of it was all on him. He liked to sing, it was in his nature and it reminded him of his childhood, of his mother… but he shouldn’t have risked it at work no matter how harmless he thought it was. Fenris kept on catching him unawares, the man should wear a bell Anders mused, it would certainly stop him from sneaking up on people. Had he been in a better mood he would have sniggered at that mental image but as it was he was utterly miserable. It didn’t matter what he did now, Fenris had caught him more than once and he was getting too close to his secret.

What could he do about it though? Trying to fight the accusations would just fuel Fenris’ suspicion but leaving it alone hadn’t exactly helped either. He could run, start over again somewhere else with a new name. A fresh start. That was always an option but… Anders really didn’t want to do that. He was happy here, truly happy. For the first time in his life he wasn’t caged up or fighting for survival, he was actually living. He had friends who would drink with him (not that he would ever get drunk himself, the loss of control was too much of a risk for somebody in his position), a place to live that was all his own and a cat. He had Ser Pounce-A-Lot to think about now, he remembered. You couldn’t exactly live on the run when you had a cat.

He felt anger rise from the depths of his hopelessness. No, he would not be scared away, he would not be intimidated by a nosy, good for nothing Tevinter bastard. He had a life here, a home and by the Maker he would fight for it. The elf had no proof after all, as long as Anders did nothing to feed his paranoia he would eventually forget about it and things could go back to normal. He frowned at the realisation that he would have to put an end to his midnight swims, at least until he was sure it was safe again. That was another reason to hate that slimy bastard.

He would bide his time, wait for Fenris to get bored and continue on as if nothing had changed. Fenris wouldn’t let this go anytime soon but Anders was just as stubborn and had more to lose. He would guard his secret jealously, eventually Fenris had to give up. It was only a matter of time.


	10. Card Night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett has an interesting opinion of Fenris and fate is not kind to Anders.

The mage avoided him after their little confrontation. It was to be expected, of course, and if anything it just proved Fenris’ theory. An innocent man would have no need to evade him, a guilty one… well a guilty one would behave exactly as Anders was.

There were times when Anders simply couldn’t avoid him, their weekly card game for example, although he had begun to attend less frequently since Fenris had accused him of being an apostate. Any time in the company of one another was spent trading stares and sneers, their usual heated arguments replaced by a much quieter, seething fury. The others seemed to notice this sudden change in their dynamic. None of the Hawke family approved, Merrill was very upset and confused, Aveline didn’t give a shit and Varric and Isabela were sharing suggestive looks at one another whenever things got heated. Nothing really changed, Fenris had no real proof but Anders was on the defensive. It was only a matter of time.

It was a rare occasion when everybody made it to a card game, but for once they had managed it, even little Bethany had joined them and Aveline had brought her fiancée along. Everybody seemed to be in high spirits, though that could probably be accounted for by the fact that almost everybody was absolutely sloshed. Garrett Hawke was perhaps the drunkest one there and he was currently leaning dangerously close to Fenris, giggling to himself like an idiot.

“Hey, Fenris- Fenris, hey, hey…” Garrett slurred as he rested his head on the sticky table top, looking up at Fenris with heavy eyes.

“Yes, Garrett?” He replied politely.

“Fenris you- you _sir_ , you’re just so…” he began, stopping for a while as his intoxicated mind struggled to find the word. For a moment Fenris believed he would abandon the sentence and maybe fall asleep instead but suddenly he shot up, eyes suddenly bright as he slammed his hand down on the table with enough force to make any drinks in his vicinity teeter dangerously. “Anime!”

Marian groaned loudly from the other end of the table.

“He’s right, sweet thing. With all that lovely white hair and those big, green eyes…” Isabela sighed dreamily.

“What’s anime?” Merrill asked tentatively, causing the drunken idiot of a man beside him to stand suddenly, wobbling slightly as he shuffled his way over to Merrill’s side of the table. He watched in disgust as Hawke grabbed a chair from the table behind them and pulled it up to sit beside the little elf before he began trying to explain the concept of anime to her. She nodded seriously at everything he said, her intelligent gaze bright and attentive. Fenris stopped paying attention when Garrett pulled out his phone to show Merrill some pictures of his favourite characters.

He let his eyes wonder across the table, looking for a new conversation to tune into. He found himself watching the mage. The man was the only one besides Marian who wasn’t drunk as both of them were driving home afterwards. Fenris wondered where Anders lived, what sort of home he had to go back to at the end of the night. His office always smelt nice, he wondered if his house would smell the same.

Ugh, he was drunk. Or maybe he wasn’t drunk enough. He took a swig of wine just for good measure.

 “I think we should get this one home.” Bethany said to Marian, putting a hand on Garrett’s shoulder and interrupting his spiel about magical girls.

“Could we get a lift?” Aveline asked from across the table, glancing over to Donnic who nodded in approval.

“Sure, if you’re willing to sit in the back with Garrett.” Marian answered, her tone and expression nonchalant even as Aveline grimaced at the realisation that she would be crammed into the back of the car next to a very drunk, very large man.

“Excuse you!” Garrett interjected, only to be ignored by everyone around him.

Varric, Merrill and Isabela didn’t make such preparations, they didn’t have far to go after all. Their apartments were only upstairs. Anders had his car, of course. That just left Fenris.

“How are you getting home?” Marian asked him.

“I’ll walk.” He decided as he stood and shrugged his jacket on.

Marian did not seem to like this. She pouted at him, eyes wandering thoughtfully as she tried to come up with a way for Fenris to get home that didn’t involve him walking alone in the dark while intoxicated. Her eyes lingered dangerously on Anders.

“Hey, Anders, could you give Fenris a lift please?”

There was uproar. Anders argued with Marian, Fenris tried to refuse outright, but in the end Marian won. She always seemed to win every argument, her cool logic triumphant over their childish prejudice. It was the most sensible option, it meant Fenris didn’t have to walk home alone (although he was perfectly capable of defending himself should trouble arise) and it would be most efficient for everybody if the Hawkes dropped Aveline and Donnic home and Anders gave Fenris a lift. While he knew that Aveline and the Hawkes lived near each other Fenris was surprised to learn that he and the veterinarian didn’t live far away from each other either.

That’s how they ended up sitting side by side in the hunk of junk that Anders had the audacity to call a car. He noted that the mage had a tight grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles white and hands shaking slightly from the effort. If this man was truly as dangerous as Fenris suspected then it was probably not a good idea to get in the car with him. He was trapped and vulnerable here- well not vulnerable, Fenris would never consider himself weak when he could plunge his fist into people’s chests and tear out their hearts. Still, he was wary of the pissed off mage beside him. Mages were never more dangerous than when they let their emotions get the better of them.

Anders noticed him staring. He didn’t appreciate it. With an angry huff he turned his head away and forced himself to concentrate on the road ahead of them. In his inebriated state Fenris realized that this might be one of the only chances he would get to have the man alone, away from work and the influence of the others.

“Why hide it?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“The fact that you’re a mage.”

Anders groaned.

“I’m not a mage, you tit.” Anders growled.

“You know I know. Don’t play dumb.” He retorted.

“How many times am I going to have to tell you this? I. Am. Not. A. Mage.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Are you an abomination?”

The car screeched to a halt and Fenris wondered why they had stopped. When he looked out the window he realised that they were already outside of his house. Once that mystery was solved he turned back to Anders and saw that he was furious.

“You are impossible!”

“That’s not a no.”

“No! No I’m not! I’m not _possessed_ , I’m not a mage! Why do you even care? It’s like you’re… obsessed! Why won’t you leave me alone?” Anders shouted, desperation creeping into his voice.

“Why? Because you’re clearly dangerous. Why else hide what you are? You’re an abomination or a monster or something… _unnatural_.” Fenris hissed, ignoring the look of hurt as he accused Anders.

“One day your pretty little façade is going to crack and when it does you’re going to hurt someone. Marian and Garrett might be foolish enough to ignore the danger but I’m not, and I’m not going to let you hurt them. This is your only warning. Leave. Them. _Alone_.” He growled.

Anders bristled and fumed before him, his face turning an interesting shade of pink as he struggled to process the threat. Fenris didn’t give him the chance to say anything else, he unbuckled himself swiftly and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him with such force that it groaned in protest.

It wasn’t long before he heard Anders’ car door slam behind him. He turned back to see the mage stalking over to him, his impossibly long legs making quick work of the distance between them.

“How fucking dare you!” he raged. “You don’t know shit about me you can’t just… I would never hurt my friends. _Ever_.”

“But you would keep secrets from them? Dangerous secrets.” Fenris snapped back, walking forward to meet him halfway.

“Yes!” Anders roared and Fenris was taken aback. This was the closest he had gotten to an admission of guilt. It was barely anything but it was a step forward.

“What do you want from me, Fenris? Yes I have my secrets. I’ve _earnt_ them. You… you don’t have any right to ask anything of me. You _hate_ me, you don’t get to know anything I don’t want you to. So piss off.” Anders shouted. In the darkness he could just about make out the red rim of his eyes, the beginnings of tears.

“Tell me. Tell me that this ‘secret’ is harmless, that nobody could get hurt by it. Look me in the eye and tell me I have nothing to worry about.” Fenris demanded.

Anders couldn’t.

“Then we have a right to know!”

“No, you don’t, you- **FUCK**!”

They had been so busy arguing, so wrapped up in their latest screaming match that neither of them had noticed the first few splashes of rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANIME WAS A MISTAKE.


	11. Rain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris makes a split second decision and there are consequences.

It was warm where they lived by the coast and any variation in the weather was a rarity, but when it rained, it _poured_. The unexpected shower started suddenly, without warning and with such intensity that they would both be drenched within a few seconds if they stayed out here.

Fenris was confused at first, wasn’t sure what had startled and enraged the other man before he remembered. This was his chance, he realised. There was no way that Anders could avoid getting wet now, Fenris had him cornered, he could finally find out…

Anders made for his car, eyes wide with panic. Before Fenris knew what he was doing himself he reached out grabbed Anders by his forearms, keeping the both of them out there in the rain. Anders looked up at him in horror, his face already dripping wet.

“Fenris, no, let go!” he cried.

Fenris ignored him.

“No, please! Stop it, _stop_ \- let me go!” he begged, his voice thick with emotion.

Fenris looked up into his eyes, feeling strangely calm as he waited for… he didn’t even know. He could see Anders’ chest heaving as the rain began to soak him through, those big sad amber eyes pleading with him. This was… not what he wanted, but what other choice did he have? Anders was dangerous and this was his only chance to find out why, even if it did cause him considerable distress. For a few seconds they were simply standing in the rain as Anders struggled uselessly in his grip. Fenris hated every second of it, but still he hung on and waited. Then it all happened very quickly.

His lyrium suddenly flared to life. Without warning the tattoos lit up, bright and humming with otherworldly power in a short sharp burst, gone as quick as it had come. There was a sudden change in Anders as that happened. It was only for a second but Fenris could have sworn the arms he was holding had changed, all of Anders had. No longer did he feel skin, warm tissue and bone underneath. It had felt like liquid, as if every molecule of him had transformed at once and then he was back, Fenris was holding his arms again and it was like it had never happened.

There was a moment of stillness before Anders crumpled forward suddenly, saved only by Fenris’ razor sharp reflexes. He caught him in his arms before he could fall, and suddenly he was concerned for Anders’ wellbeing. It was as if his legs had suddenly and violently given up on him. What had happened, why didn’t he have the strength to even stand anymore? Had Fenris gone too far, had he actually hurt him?

Wait.

When had Anders taken off his shirt?

No, Fenris had been watching him the entire time, he had not had the chance to remove the shirt and yet he could defiantly feel bare skin. He looked down, past the horrified, wide eyed expression of the man in his arms, past the vast expanses of exposed freckled skin, finally focusing on…

Venhedis, was that a tail?

He backed away very suddenly, releasing Anders and letting him fall, ignoring how he cried out as he hit the hard ground. That was defiantly a tail. It was long, even longer than Anders’ impossibly long legs. He couldn’t quite make out the colour of it in the dark but there were thousands of tiny scales starting at his hips and travelling all the way down to where his feet should have been. At the end there was a fin, spreading from the bottom and fanning out beautifully. It really was beautiful. And terrifying.

Anders had a tail.

Anders was a merman.

Fenris began to retreat backwards, heading slowly towards his door. He was drunk, that was it. He’d had some bad wine, this was all a horrible hallucination and when he woke up in the morning his rival would _not have a tail_.

Anders finally looked up at him and noticed his retreat, and somehow his desperation doubled. He propped himself up on his arms, struggling to keep eye contact with Fenris in the rain.

“No, no, no, you can’t leave me out here.” He rasped, shuffling forward on his arms and reaching out a hand to him.

Fenris felt his back press against his front door.

“Fenris please, you can’t- nobody can see me out here. Please. Help me.” He begged.

He was so desperate, so helpless and vulnerable, splayed on the floor as the rain pelted down on him.

He heard a car engine. Voices. If Fenris left him out here now it was only a matter of time before somebody else would see him.

With a curse he raced towards Anders and lifted him over his shoulders fireman style. Fenris noted how heavy the tail made him despite the fact he was so skinny that his ribs were visible, a bizarre contradiction, a paradox. The blonde was silent for once as Fenris let them in and carried him up the stairs into the bedroom. Once they were there he tossed him onto the bed and immediately fled to the side of the room furthest away from Anders and his tail.

Now that they had some light Fenris could truly appreciate Anders’ transformation. His tail was a wonderful teal colour. The scales changed colour when they hit the light reminding him of crow’s feathers, sometimes green, sometimes blue, always deep and dark. The colours contrasted his red gold hair (that was now loose from its usual tie) and the warm trail of freckles that was spread all across his skin. He was breath taking.

Then there were the scars. They were everywhere, deep lines etched into his skin, some were obviously from restraints while the others were more ambiguous in origin. How had he got these? Who had tied him up and hurt him like this, who had marked him permanently and why?  Fenris had a million and one questions but it was Anders who would ask the first question tonight.

“Do you have any towels?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alterntive chapter title:   
> A Gaythering Storm.
> 
> Alternative chapter summaries:   
> Anders gets wet but not in the fun way.  
> Anders is fucked.  
> Fenris reconsiders some of his life choices.


	12. The Aftermath.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris gets some answers and Anders prepares for the worst case scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! There are mentions of (rather bloody) suicide up ahead, if that bothers you just avoid the paragraph that I've put a * at the beginning of. I don't think it's that bad but be warned.

Things had gone a damn sight better than Anders thought they would. That wasn’t saying much considering that his _actual worst nightmare_ had just come true but the situation would have been a heck of a lot worse if Fenris hadn’t taken pity on him and carried him inside. Yes, Fenris could see his tail and now had all the evidence he needed to completely ruin his life but hey, at least he hadn’t left him out in the rain. In fact he had not only brought him inside but he had put him on the bed as well. Maker, it was a comfortable bed. He couldn’t remember ever lying on anything quite as soft and the sheets all smelt of Fenris. Anders may despise the man but even he had to admit that he smelt rather nice.

He was tempted to fall to sleep right there. It had been a long day and the bed was so comfortable, it also would mean that he wouldn’t have to deal with Fenris or any of his bullshit. Ugh, Fenris. Nope, he couldn’t sleep when the elf could pick up the phone and call the Templars at any given moment. He had to deal with this, control the damage however he could.

Fenris was scared witless, standing on the far side of the room, eyeing him up like a cornered animal. It was ironic, considering Anders was the one who was trapped here. Until he was dry he was stuck with his tail, and while he had a tail he couldn’t leave. He was truly at Fenris’ mercy here.

“Do you have any towels?” He asked as casually as he could. The sooner he was dry the sooner he could escape.

If Fenris heard his request he ignored it, still clinging to the wall as if this would save him. Anders wanted to roll his eyes, but fear didn’t let him. As soon as the elf came to his senses he would make Anders submit to him, he would have no real choice but to comply to Fernis’ will.

“What are you?” the elf asked quietly, finally finding his voice.

“A marine biologist.” He deadpanned, joking despite himself.

Fenris fixed him with a look.

“I would think ‘what I am’ is kind of bleeding obvious.” He mumbled bitterly, lifting his fin and letting it flop back down uselessly.

“Fasta Vass, this is- I don’t understand.” Fenris admitted, finally moving away from the wall and running his hands over his face.

“What is there to understand? Why does it even matter? You were right, you won. Congratufuckinglations.”

“This isn’t a _game_ , mage!”

“Not a mage.” He retorted, gesturing down to his tail. Fenris just snarled at him.

There was a long, lingering moment of silence and Anders steeled himself with a deep breath.

“Just… give me a day, okay? One day. Then I’ll go. I’ll be out of your hair, you’ll never see me again” he said sombrely.

“What?” Fenris hissed, caught somewhere between confusion and outrage. Anders felt his breath catch in his throat. This is what he had been scared of.

It was his own stupid fault. He should have left the moment Fenris became suspicious of him but he hadn’t wanted to. He liked it here, he had wanted to stay for as long as he could and now he was paying the price for it. Fenris wasn’t going to let him go quietly, he realized. He really hoped he would dry out soon, although he realised couldn’t actually leave until the rain outside had stopped, and that could take all night. Maker, this was such a mess.

“You want me to ‘leave them alone’, right? So I’ll go. You’ll get what you want.” he reasoned, trying to convince Fenris that this was what he wanted.

“What about the others? The twins will be upset if you leave.” he pointed out.

Anders couldn’t stop the sadness from bleeding into his expression. Oh, the Hawke twins had shown him such kindness, nobody had been that nice to him since Surana. He’d had to leave her too. But they had other friends, they would move on without him, they all would.

“I don’t have much of a choice.” He spat out.

“If you leave without a word they will kill me. They know I have been suspicious and they will blame me.”

“I’ll tell them I have a job offer. Something exciting that’s very far away.” He reasoned.

“No. You’re not going anywhere.” Fenris decided. Anders felt his heart sink.

*There was a long moment of silence, their thoughts hanging heavily in the air. There was a wine bottle on the bedside table. If he managed to hit Fenris with it would it knock him out or would it just piss him off? If worst came to worst and the Templars reared their ugly heads he could smash the bottle and gut himself with it. It was a painful death but honestly it was more desirable than spending the rest of his life in a tank surrounded by hateful bastards.

“What are you going to do?” Anders asked carefully. He hadn’t quite given up yet, there was still a chance that Fenris wouldn’t call the Templars, small as it was.

The question stumped him. After all what did you do when your enemy turned into a fish on your doorstep? Frankly Anders couldn’t blame him for being confused, he just hoped he would be merciful. With a sigh the elf moved away from the wall and sat on the edge of his bed.

“Explain to me. What is all… this?” he asked, gesturing to the tail.

Anders quirked an eyebrow. Hadn’t Fenris gotten enough out of him for one night? Just because he had flashed his tail (unwillingly mind you) didn’t mean he was ready to divulge all of his secrets. Still, the question meant that Fenris was still making up his mind, that he might not hand him over to the Templars. He folded his arms over his bare chest and fixed Fenris with a petulant glare.

“What is it you want to know exactly?” he inquired.

Fenris considered the question for a moment, ignoring the hostility that was coming from Anders.

“How did this happen?”

“I was born like it.”

Fenris watched him expectantly, waiting for him to expand upon that. Anders considered remaining silent just to spite him, but instead sighed and begrudgingly explained it to him without giving away anything too personal.

“So, the chantry definitely doesn’t want anyone to know this but merpeople are a thing. Obviously. We’re relatively common underwater but not many people know of us.”

“You’re saying that the chantry is covering up an entire underwater society?” Fenris asked incredulously. Anders thought he would have been more accepting of this fact considering he currently had an actual merman, something he had not believed to exist until literally five minutes ago, in his bed. But whatever.

“The chantry covers up a lot of things, this is one of them.” He stated simply.

“That’s ridiculous-“

“Tell me about it.”

Fenris tried to stare him down but Anders didn’t flinch away from his gaze.

“Look, things between people under the sea and those on land are weird and complicated and I don’t want to get into the politics of it all.” Anders insisted, not admitting that he didn’t actually know that much about it. He had been taken from his home when he was young, before he had a real opportunity to learn about such things.

“So, being a, uh, _merman_ means you have magic?” Fenris asked, tensing as he awaited an answer.

“Yes, merpeople are naturally magical beings.” Anders admitted.

“So that’s how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Control minds.”

“ _What_?”

Anders glared at Fenris as if he had just lost his mind.

“You controlled that dolphin, made it do what you wanted it to. And then the singing…” he trailed off. His face was already red from the cold rain and the wine he had been drinking, but it went a few shades darker when he thought about what had happened.

“Okay, first of all I asked that dolphin, I didn’t _make_ him do anything. Second of all… that was a genuine mistake and I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there when I started singing, honestly. But I wouldn’t call that 'mind control' exactly.” He admitted, a blush creeping into his own cheeks.

“What would you call it?” Fenris snapped, anger rising up suddenly, making Anders flinch.

“Well I can’t exactly ‘control’ anyone per say, but my voice is attractive. I’m sure that you’ve heard the stories… about sirens…”

Fenris’ anger doubled.

“You can use your voice to drown people?” he gasped.

“Maker, no! I mean, technically yes, but I would _never_. It happens, accidents occur and there those who do it on purpose… but I’m not one of them, I swear!” he pleaded, his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Look, I’m harmless, okay? I don’t want to hurt anybody, I just want to be left alone. I haven’t hurt anyone yet have I? Wouldn’t I have done something already if I wanted to? I’m not a threat.”

“No, no, you admitted to being dangerous, just now outside.” Fenris retorted, unconvinced.

“What I can do isn’t what’s dangerous.”

“Then what is?”

Anders sucked in a deep breath. He had avoided to subject of Templars, hoping that if he didn’t remind Fenris of them that it wouldn't occur to him to turn him in to them. He eyed the bottle beside him. It was only looking more and more tempting as this conversation went on.

“The Templars.” He admitted, his shoulders sagging with defeat. “They know I’m out there and they’re looking for me. If they find out where I am they’ll come for me. If Garrett and Merrill get caught up in it…”

“Fasta Vass!” Fenris hissed, springing up to pace around his room in determined circles. He did this for a while before turning back to Anders.

“You have to tell them.” He demanded.

“No, no way. It’s bad enough _you_ know.” Anders snarled.

“They have a right to know!” Fenris insisted.

“Maybe, but if I do _I know_ it won’t end well. I’ve been in this position before, Fenris. The more people know the more likely it is that I’ll have Templars with fishing nets on my doorstep ready to drag me away. It’s safer for everybody if I just go.”

“I told you, you are _not_ leaving.”

“Well I’m not telling them either! Look, just tell me what you’re going to do, okay?” Anders sighed, resigning himself to his fate.

There was another drawn out silence as Fenris considered what to do. Maker, Anders hated this. Once more his life was in somebody else’s hands, somebody who could really hurt him. He’d spent most of his life controlled by other people, even during his time spent with Surana he had not been truly free. Fenris sat back down on the bed wearily and Anders had to squash the urge to grab the bottle.

“I won’t tell anybody. But I still think you should let the others know, and I will be keeping an eye on you.”

Anders head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. This was… This was perhaps the best possible outcome. Fenris was going to let him go, he wasn’t going to call the Templars and he wasn’t going to out him to his friends. He could continue on with his life here, he just had to deal with the fact that Fenris knew. For once he swallowed his pride.

“Thank you.” He croaked, barely able to say anything else.

“I still think you could be dangerous, and if you prove me right I will tear out your heart myself. Are we clear?” Fenris cautioned.

Anders managed to nod, an odd mix of fear and gratitude making his throat swell too much to talk. The gesture seemed to satisfy Fenris, who nodded to himself.

“How do we, uh, get rid of that?” Fenris stuttered after a moment, pointing at his tail.

“My legs will come back when I dry off.” He informed him calmly.

“Just- let yourself out when that happens then.”

Anders shot a look at him.

“Fenris, I think you’re forgetting something.” He stated, pointing to the window. It was still raining outside.

“Fine. You can sleep here for tonight, but don’t try anything weird.”

And with that Fenris got up only to flop back down on an armchair on the far side of the room, effectively ending the conversation. Anders thought about arguing, or at least offering to take the chair instead of the bed, but they really didn’t have much of a choice considering he wasn’t exactly very mobile right now, it would just be awkward trying to get him to the chair and Fenris’ sheets were already wet anyway. Besides this bed was ever so comfortable… The second he closed his eyes he could feel himself drifting away, the sound of the rain and the last thing he was aware of before unconsciousness claimed him.


	13. The Morning After.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on and our unlikely duo have to get to work.

As he slowly became aware of his surroundings Anders realised that he was not in his own bed. For one thing it was much too comfortable, for another he couldn’t hear the waves lapping on the beach or the cry of seagulls. He wasn’t home, he was somewhere else. He managed to open his eyes enough to look around. The room was unfamiliar to him, it was somewhere he hadn’t been until last night…

“Shit.” He muttered, suddenly remembering where he was and how he had gotten there.

He willed his lower body to move and was able to quickly figure out how many limbs he currently had. Two. His legs were back. That was something at least, it meant he could leave. He sat up enough to peer out of the window to see brilliant sunshine, the heat of the day had dried up the worst of the rainwater it would seem. It should be safe enough to head out. It was a relief, he wasn’t stuck here with Fenris anymore and it meant he could get to work. He groaned involuntarily. It was Friday and he had a job to get to. A quick check of his watch made it quite clear that he didn’t have the time to go back home, get ready and make it there. He’d just have to show up as he was. It was fortunate that he always kept a spare set of clothes in his office, just in case. He could change into something more professional once he got there.

He stood and stretched, enjoying the fact that the bed he had slept on hadn’t done horrendous things to his back for once. Maybe he should invest in a proper mattress, one that was actually pleasant to sleep on. Once he had stretched away the worst of the sleepiness he walked over to Fenris. The man was still a sleep, slumped awkwardly over in the chair. Anders winced, feeling bad for having stolen his very soft bed. Despite Fenris' awkward position he looked very peaceful, an odd change from the tension he usually carried. He was almost loathe to wake him but if he didn’t then they would be late for work. He reached over and nudged his shoulder gently.

Fenris startled awake violently and grabbed Anders by his shirt on instinct, ready to pounce. For a terrifying moment Anders didn’t think he would come to his senses in time, that he would end up with a glowing fist around his heart. That didn’t happen however, he saw recognition in Fenris’ eyes and he let go of his shirt instantly. Anders breathed a sigh of relief as he backed up, certain that the elf had just shaved ten years off of his life.

“You shouldn’t startle me like that, it’s not good for your health.” Fenris quipped.

“Oh har har.” Anders spat out as he made an effort to ignore how lovely Fenris’ voice was when he was all sleepy.

It was awkward after that. Fenris got up out of the chair, grimacing at the tightness of his muscles as Anders watched, unsure of what to do or say. In the end it was Fenris who spoke up first.

“So you’re really-“

“Yes.”

Another pause, longer this time.

“Go ahead and get ready, I’ll give you a lift.” Anders announced, taking his car keys from his trousers and shaking them playfully. “We can get breakfast on the way. And something for your hangover.”

“I don’t get hungover.” Fenris stated simply.

Anders shot him a look and when Fenris didn’t react he realised that he really wasn’t suffering any of the ill effects of drinking like his life had depended on it last night. The worst of his issues were from a night sleeping in a chair instead of a bed.

“Lucky Bastard.” He muttered under his breath as he left the room, leaving Fenris alone so that he could get ready.

-

They showed up at work together with an absurd amount of coffee and some pastries in a little bag. Fenris looked a little worse for wear thanks to the fact he had spent the night bent like a pretzel and Anders was feeling sufficiently gross himself. He had been wearing the same thing since yesterday morning and his impromptu shower last night had left him smelling somewhat strange. The sooner he could get home and take a proper bath the better.

“Holy shit.”

Anders turned to face Varric and Merrill. It wasn’t unusual to see them together in the morning. Ever since Merrill had moved in with Isabela Varric had taken to giving her a lift to work, they were coming from the same place after all and it meant that Merrill wouldn’t have the chance to get hopelessly lost on her way there, something that happened astoundingly often.

Varric was gaping at them. Anders wasn’t sure if he had ever been this taken aback in his life. The dwarf was all about information, nine times out of ten he knew what was up with his friends, sometimes before they knew themselves. This time however he was simply stunned. Merrill had her hands planted on her cheeks, a sunny smile plastered on her face as if she had seen something wonderful. Anders could hear Fenris grumbling beside him already.

“Well I never thought I’d live to see the day.” Varric boomed, a happy smile finally forming on his face.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so happy for you!” Merrill chirped.

“Excuse me?” Fenris asked, brows scrunching up in confusion.

“How long have you been together?” Merrill inquired.

“ _Excuse me_?” Fenris gritted out, outrage creeping into his voice. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.

“We’re not together.” Anders sighed.

“But you-“ Merrill began, her finger travelling between the two of them.

“Anders’ car broke down last night. He couldn’t fix it in the rain so he was stuck at mine. He gave me a lift this morning once he got his car working, that’s all there is to it.” Fenris lied casually. Anders could feel his eyebrows rise in astonishment, Fenris had already come up with excuses long before Anders had even thought to think of them. Quite frankly he was impressed.

“Oh.” Merrill mouthed, her delicate shoulders sagging in disappointment.

“We brought coffee.” Anders said, nodding to the cups he was holding to change the subject. They had got something for everyone, he had thought most of them would need it after drinking like fishes the night before.

“Thanks Blondie. Here, let me help.” Varric offered. They divided up the coffee between the four of them and entered through the main office. Occasionally Anders would sneak looks at Fenris. He seemed so cool, so calm, as if last night hadn’t happened at all. Anders was grateful but his nonchalance made him anxious as well, he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

They found their way to the breakroom to find Aveline and a very patient Marian standing over her brother who seemed to be suffering terribly. Anders had expected as much. He handed the man a coffee with a kind smile. He would admit that had a soft spot for Garrett Hawke. There was just something about him, something so genuine and friendly that appealed to Anders.

Garrett squinted up at him, taking the coffee and giving a small grunt of thanks before he began sipping at it tentatively. Merrill handed Aveline and Marian their drinks and they thanked her.

“Oh, don’t thank me, Anders and Fenris brought it.” Merrill corrected.

“Anders _and_ Fenris?” Aveline spluttered, her long, serious face scrunched up in confusion.

“Oh yeah. Blondie totally stayed the night at Broody’s, they drove in together this morning with coffee.” Varric crowed.

If looks could kill Varric would be _very_ dead. Fenris’ glare was always so sharp and intimidating, Anders was glad that he wasn’t on the receiving end of it for once. Marian looked them up and down, eyes wide with surprise and he could hear Garrett chortling to himself. Clearly he had noticed how dishevelled and tired they were looking, and it didn’t help that Anders was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing yesterday.

“Isabela owes me three silvers.” Garrett announced, leaning back with a smug smile.

Fenris hit him over the head with the bag of pastries. He didn’t do it with any real force but thanks to Garrett’s magnificent hangover it made him wince all the same.

“Isabela doesn’t owe you shit. My car broke down when we got to Fenris’ and I had to wait until it had stopped raining to get it working again. Fenris was kind enough to let me stay the night.” Anders explained. He could feel Fenris looking at him but he didn’t acknowledge the owlish gaze. He really was grateful for Fenris’ discretion, the least he could do was be nice and show some civility.

“You two spent the entire night in the same house and you _didn’t_ kill each other, not only that but you’re actually being nice to one another now? Who are you and what have you done with our friends?” Aveline jested, a small smile on her face.

Anders looked over to Marian and Merrill. Marian was smiling, looking between the two of them with… approval, Anders realised. Ugh, he shouldn’t be encouraging her like this. Merrill was watching them with knitted brows, her naturally inquisitive nature made her look perpetually confused at the best of times and right now she looked downright baffled.

“Are you sure you’re not dating?” Merrill asked earnestly, causing Garrett to chuckle and Marian to look horrified.

“Ugh, I’m not drunk enough for this.” Fenris grumbled, flopping into a free chair and downing his coffee as if this would solve his problems.

“Well, I’m going to get dressed into something clean. I’ll see you idiots later.” Anders announced, already heading towards the door.

Before he could think better of it he turned back quickly.

“Thanks again, Fenris.” He choked out before spinning on his heel and escaping before anyone could react.

Fenris didn’t know, he couldn’t possibly know what he had done for Anders. His discretion meant that he was free to live his life, that he could keep everything he had fought so hard to have. He may not have the elf’s approval but he had something close to respect and that was more than most had afforded him in his lifetime. Before he had thought Fenris more beast than man, he was angry, problematic and closeminded. Fenris had proven him wrong, and for whatever reason Anders now trusted him to an extent, believed that he wouldn’t spill his secret the moment he left the room at least. Whether that trust was well placed only time could tell, but Anders had faith.


	14. Catch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and Fenris continues to surprise Anders.

Three months had passed since Fenris had found out and things had been strangely uneventful. Their dynamic had changed once again but this time for the better. Anders might even say they were friends, there was a newfound respect between them that made them more amiable at least. The entire group seemed relieved that they were no longer consumed by anger and petty quarrels. Arguments still happened of course but they were much less frequent and a lot less aggressive, more like debates than petty squabbling. They actually listened to each other for one thing, instead of screeching over whatever the other was saying and insisting that they were right. It made things easier, made Fenris seem more like a person than an antagonist.

It helped that he didn’t have to worry about Fenris breathing down his neck anymore also. He was able to resume his usual midnight swims and spend time with the dolphins here, which they were all very grateful for. They had gotten grumpy with him once he had stopped swimming with them at night but when he had resumed his usual swimming activities they had been delighted. His work life was a lot easier now that he could get close to them again.

Three entire months without incident had left him feeling contented so it came as a shock then when something did happen, it caught him off guard and shook him to the bone.

He was watching from the side of the pool as Garrett and Marian trained the dolphins in the water. The two of them were such idiots, especially when you put them together, Anders was surprised that they ever got any work done. They were currently laughing as they played piggy in the middle with one of the dolphins and Anders was starting to seriously doubt that there was any actual training going on despite what they insisted.

“What exactly is the point of the exercise?”

Anders practically jumped out of his skin as Fenris seemed to materialise out of nowhere. Sweet Maker, how did he manage to do that _every damn time_? Anders was going to keel over one of these days and it was going to be Fenris’ fault. And now he was laughing, but it wasn’t the bitter sound it would have been three months ago, it was warm and friendly and it made Anders’ heart flutter in his chest.

“Bastard.” He snipped.

Fenris just smirked at him.

“I’m honestly not sure, but they’re probably not supposed to be doing that.” He informed Fenris, finally answering his initial question.

“It’s a good job Varric is so fond of them.” Fenris mused.

“That and they’re damn good at their jobs when they actually decide to do them.” Anders pointed out, saying the last part much louder for the benefit of the Hawke twins.

“Sorry, _Dad_.” Garrett crowed, cupping his hands to help his booming voice travel further. Anders just rolled his eyes and turned to face Fenris.

“I probably shouldn’t complain. I’m out here slacking off too.” He admitted.

Fenris quirked an eyebrow at him.

“You? Really?” He asked in disbelief.

“It’s so hot in my office and I’ve been typing for hours. I swear to Andraste that paper is going to be the death of me.” Anders moaned.

“What are you writing about?” Fenris inquired.

Anders was rather impressed. Fenris never took an interest in his work, it was rare that he would approach him of his own accord at all. This was new territory for the both of them, and as mundane as the topic of conversation was it excited Anders.

“It’s nothing particularly interesting, I’m talking about behavioural patterns in-“

“Oi, Fenris! CATCH!” Marian howled, cutting him off.

Anders had just about enough time to turn his head and see the ball spinning towards them. Fenris’ usually sharp reflexes were unable to save Anders from taking the brunt of the shoddy throw. Marian had lobbed it at Fenris at a funny angle and Anders had taken a hit square in the back with the ball. The soggy ball.

Oh shit.

By the time he looked back at Fenris, desperation in his eyes, the elf was already one step ahead of him. He felt fingers hooking into his shirt and he was being forcefully dragged away towards the labs, Marian and Garrett shouting and kicking up a fuss behind him, begging Fenris to stop. They thought they were fighting, he realised, that Fenris was dragging him away with the intention of doing Maker knows what.

Fenris opened the first door he came to and hissed when he came face to face with Merrill. Before she had a chance to look up and greet them cheerfully as she always did Fenris slammed the door shut in her face and looked for somewhere, anywhere, he could take Anders.

“Fenris, I’m-” Anders managed to choke out before suddenly falling forwards into his arms once more, his tail spreading out behind him.

Fenris cursed, a string of words that Anders new were Tevene but had no other meaning to him. He was out in the open, his tail was on display for the world to see and he could hear Marian and Garrett getting out of the water. They were probably on their way over here in an attempt to stop Fenris from murdering him. At any other time he would be grateful for such concern but right now he really, really wished they would just go away.

He could feel Fenris’ strong arms fold around him, trying to get a better grip. Anders returned the favour and clung to him in an effort to make carrying him easier, not that Fenris really needed the extra help. He began to drag him towards the door on the left, another lab.

Fenris stuck his head through the door first to ensure that they weren’t walking into another occupied room and Anders could hear both Hawke twins calling their names, getting closer and closer. He was about to say something to Fenris, to urge him to hurry up but he was already being dragged inside.

Fenris laid him gently on the floor before locking the door behind them. About two seconds after he had done that there was a loud knocking.

“Open the door!” Garrett shouted, banging his fist so hard against the wood that it actually shook.

“Both of you get out here this instant!” Marian demanded, her tone making a shiver run down Anders’ spine.

They ignored both of the Hawke twins pleas, instead Fenris turned to him and shrugged, mouthing “what do I do” at him and looking around helplessly. Anders did the same before pointing at a rack of lab coats by the door. Fenris grabbed two and threw one at Anders and he promptly proceeded to dry himself off with it as quickly as he could manage. Fortunately he hadn’t gotten too wet this time but he had to pat down his tail all the same. For some reason no matter how he got wet his tail was always damp, it was just how it worked. To his surprise Fenris began to help, using the other lab coat to pat the end of his tail dry.

“I swear to the Maker I will knock this door down if one of you doesn’t open it right now!” Marian snapped from the other side and the knocking ceased, instead he could hear them trying to force the lock open.

They worked with renewed vigour, they were almost there, almost done, if the Hawkes could wait just a little longer…

“By the Dread Wolf, what is going on?!” he heard Merrill cry from the other side of the door.

“Merrill, good, you have the keys right?” Hawke asked, his relief palpable.

Fenris and Anders locked eyes for a split second before they began working even faster than before, desperately racing against the people outside. Anders could hear the key in the door, could hear it click in the lock when suddenly Fenris was glowing and he had legs once again. He had no time to celebrate before the twins burst in. Quick as a flash Fenris was leaning over him, grabbing his collar again and promptly punching him in the face.

Maker it hurt. It wasn’t as hard as he could punch, nowhere near, but it was still painful. They had argued ceaselessly in the past but never before had it come to blows and Anders was silently thanking the Maker, Andraste and anybody else who was listening that he hadn’t ever actually provoked the elf into a genuine display of violence.

Before he knew it Garrett had wrapped his arms around Fenris and was dragging him back, much to the elf’s displeasure. Marian got between them as Garrett held Fenris down while Merrill simply stood in the door way, uncertain of what to do.

“What the hell is wrong with you two? Fighting at work? ” Garrett roared and really it was quite terrifying. The man had a deep, heavy voice and when he shouted you could really feel it in your bones.

“I am so disappointed in the both of you.” Marian barked, unsure which of the two of them deserved her icy glare more. It made Anders cringe, they hadn’t actually been fighting but he felt shame just the same.

“But I thought you were finally getting along!” Merrill chimed in, looking ever so small and heartbroken from her position in the doorway.

“So did I. What happened?” Garrett responded, his voice much lower now, to Anders’ relief.

It was Anders’ turn to come up with an excuse, although he wasn’t as good at it as Fenris was. He wracked his brain, trying to think of what he could say that would explain what had provoked Fenris like that.

“I, uh, may have, uhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Anders trailed off. Maker they were all staring at him expectantly, he would have to make this good.

“We had a disagreement. I may have said some things about Tevinter…” he managed, trying to keep it as vague as possible.

Marian groaned and Garrett finally released Fenris and joined his sister.

“But you were doing so well! I thought you were actually getting on.” Marian moaned.

“Clearly you were mistaken.” Fenris snapped.

He hadn’t missed this hostility, it was difficult to fall back into it now that they were finally on better terms but he didn’t have much of a choice.

“Prick.” He muttered under his breath, unable to bring himself to say anything harsher.

“Come on, surely you can get past this.” Garrett reasoned. “Apologise.”

Before they could respond Marian had a hand on her brother’s arm, leading him towards the door.

“Don’t bother Garrett, it wouldn’t change anything. If they want to fight like mindless animals I say let them.” Marian spat out, a harsh edge to her voice.

Maker, Anders hated disappointing the Hawke family. Marian had this way of making your stomach curl in on itself and Garrett had the kicked puppy thing down to an art, between the two of them you were left feeling truly horrendous. He could see from the corner of his eye that they had a similar effect on Fenris.

Fenris was the first to leave the room, as always. He pushed past their friends and flew out of the door so quickly that Anders was genuinely concerned for him. Their argument had been fake but their friends’ reactions had been real. Anders was feeling rather sorry for himself despite the fact that there was no real confrontation, he wondered if Fenris was going through the same thing.

The Hawke family finally joined Merrill outside, looking back at him one last time before closing the door behind them. He was still on the floor, two soggy labcoats strewn about next to him, it was fortunate that they had gone unnoticed in the heat of the moment because he could think of no way to explain them.

What had just happened?

Fenris had helped him. It was one thing to not say anything about the merman thing, it was another entirely to actively help him keep it a secret. He didn’t even approve of the lie, he wanted the group to know and yet he had helped Anders all the same, had respected his wishes over his own beliefs on the matter. Anders felt his heart flutter, something in his chest swelled at the memory of being dragged to safety. Fenris cared, or at least he cared enough to help him, to respect what he wanted. He never expected this from Fenris yet he had proven himself to be a friend, Anders realised, and a good one at that.

He wanted to go after him right now, but he couldn’t, not without undoing all of the good that Fenris had done for him. He would have to wait, maybe he could catch him on his way home. He wanted to thank him, to show his gratitude, to prove to him that the respect that Fenris was showing him was mutual. Yes, he would find him tonight and try to make it up to him. Anders grinned to himself as he got to his feet, he had a plan in place, the perfect way to show his appreciation.


	15. Thank You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could our favourite broody elf possibly have a crush...?

Fenris had been sure of three things.

One, Anders was dangerous.

Two, Anders was not his friend.

Three, he would never let his guard down around the man, ever.

Those were the three sure things he knew when it came to Anders and in the space of three months every single one of those beliefs had been called into question. He was actually _enjoying_ his company for one thing. They wouldn’t actively seek each other out but the time they spent together was nice, even their arguments were interesting now that they had lost their sting. He found he liked teasing the blonde, that making him smile was a worthwhile use of his time. What had happened? He had been so resolute in his belief that Anders was the villain but once he had proven otherwise Fenris was left in limbo, unsure of what to make of him. Somehow uncertainty had led him to actually liking Anders.

He wished that he could say that helping the merman today had been a mistake but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He knew what it was like to live without choice, to have your autonomy taken from you. He sympathised with Anders he realised. He wanted to give him the opportunity to make his own choices, even if it meant that he would make mistakes and Fenris would have to face the undesirable consequences of his choices.

Fenris was currently facing those consequences. He had only come to the break room to pick up his lunchbox so that he could leave for the day but now he wished he had just left it overnight. Marian was shooting icy daggers at him and Garrett was avoiding his gaze, looking rather pathetic and miserable. It would be like this for a while, he realised. Maybe he could get Anders to make a show of them apologising to one another, just to appease the twins. They had never apologised to each other before though, he didn’t want to make anyone suspicious, or Maker forbid make things between him and Anders awkward.

He shoved his lunchbox into his bag and left without giving his usual goodbye. They would get over it eventually, he just had to wait them out. He left through the front office, walking out into the evening sun. This was his favourite time of day, the air was cool and the garish light of day had settled into something more pleasant, a warm glow. Walking into work in the morning was always a chore but his journey home was something he actually looked forward to.

“Fenris! Wait!”

He turned to find Anders waving at him, jogging and panting as he struggled to close the distance between them. Fenris stopped walking and waited politely for him to catch up. He was a little out of breath by the time he did, the wisps of blonde that had escaped his hair tie fell over his face which was pink from overexertion. Fenris had to make an effort not to stare at him.

“I wanted to thank you, for earlier. You really saved my arse.” Anders panted, finally having caught his breath enough to speak.

“It was nothing.” Fenris grunted, the tips of his ears turning a delicate shade of pink. He hadn’t expected Anders to chase him and throw words of praise his way and he didn’t really know how to handle it.

“No, really. I was completely screwed and you didn’t _have_ to help me but you did. It means a lot that you were looking out for me.”

“Now see here-“ he began. Embarrassment stopped him from just accepting the thanks, he didn’t want Anders to think he cared nearly as much as he did. What if it wasn’t mutual, or they argued again and Anders used this against him? Fenris wasn’t good at dealing with people, they were complicated and difficult and he didn’t want to give anyone a chance to hurt him if he could help it.

“Don’t ruin this, just let me say thank you, okay?” Anders interrupted.

After a pause Fenris gave a nod, his eyes filled with uncertainty.

“Thank you, Fenris.” Anders finally said with a sunny, lopsided grin. Fenris wanted to preserve that look, wanted to make the man smile as often as possible. Fasta Vass, what was wrong with him?

“I-“ Anders began before cutting himself off. It was his turn to be uncertain, it would seem. Fenris just nodded at him encouragingly, letting him know that he could speak freely.

“I want to show you something.” Anders admitted sheepishly, his voice low and his eyes bright with excitement.

“Okay. What is it?” Fenris asked casually, only for Anders to shake his head at him.

“Not now. Are you free this weekend?” he inquired. Fenris was taken aback the question but he schooled his expression, not letting himself show it.

“Yes, I am.”

“I’ll pick you up at three on Saturday.” Anders announced, and with that he turned on his heel, only to turn back suddenly a moment later “Oh, and bring a swimsuit, yeah?”

And then he was gone and Fenris was left to contemplate what exactly he had just agreed to.


	16. A Dip in the Ocean.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders and Fenris go swimming.

Anders showed up twenty minutes later than he had said he would, but Fenris had expected as much. He always showed up for cards later than the others and he only ever made it into work at the last minute, the man was perpetually late.

Fenris was feeling rather uneasy, it wasn’t that he mistrusted Anders anymore, but the uncertainty of what was about to happen didn’t sit well with him. He hated not knowing. Still, he had a bag with his swimming things packed and ready to go, and when Anders finally pulled up outside his house he got into the car without hesitation.

He looked Anders over. He seemed happy, more carefree than he usually did. His hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and he had put his earring in, something he rarely did these days. He was wearing one of his many dresses, a long crimson one that made the red in his hair stand out. It made him look even taller than he was, even sitting down. Fenris felt somewhat underdressed in comparison, he had just shoved on a pair of skinny jeans and a tight black shirt which was what he always wore. He hadn’t been aware that he should have made an effort.

“You look nice.” Anders said, beaming at him as he pulled away and set off down the road.

Fenris rolled his eyes and huffed.

“I could say the same thing about you.” He sniffed.

“Then why don’t you?” Anders quipped.

“I don’t want to feed your ego, it’s big enough as it is.”

They both laughed at that and fell into a comfortable silence for a while. Fenris stared out of the window, noting that they were getting closer and closer to the coast.

“Where are you taking me exactly?” He finally asked, turning his head to face Anders.

“To my place.” Anders admitted. Fenris quirked a brow at him. “I have nothing underhand planned, I promise, just trust me, okay?”

Fenris nodded slowly before turning to face the window again. Had Anders said that to him a few months ago he would have punched him in the throat, now Fenris found himself wanting to put his faith in the other man, which was completely and utterly bizarre but no stranger than anything else that had happened since he had met the man.

They parked outside an old shack that faced a stretch of the beach that looked strangely unoccupied. Fenris looked around in confusion. There were no houses here, just that one run down building. Had Anders made a mistake? No, he was getting out of the car. Fenris did the same and groaned as Anders walked towards the shack, sorting through the keys on his keychain. No, he couldn’t…

He followed Anders into the shack and it quickly became apparent that Anders did in fact live here. There were two rooms, one main room and a bathroom to the side. There was a rickety bed by the door, a desk pressed against a wall and a kitchen at the back.

“You live here?” Fenris gasped, disgust slipping into the tone of his voice.

Anders turned around and put his hands on his hips, unoffended by what Fenris obviously thought of his home.

“Hey, I’ll have you know this is prime real estate.”

Fenris wondered over to the bed and pressed a hand onto the mattress, listening to the bed frame shriek under the strain. How did he sleep on this thing?

“You testing out my bed?” Anders jested, tilting his head to look suggestively at Fenris.

“In your dreams.” He snorted.

Anders laughed, sat at the desk and began sorting through some of the papers on it before he looked back at Fenris.

“You can get changed in the bathroom.” He offered, pointing to the door on the far side of the room.

Fenris went and did as Anders said, putting on his swimming trunks and a loose t-shirt in the cramped confines of the bathroom. As he got ready he thought about Anders. He was being _very_ friendly, and Fenris was responding in kind. Was this flirting? Was it serious? He always thought Anders was attractive but up until now he had no desire to do anything about it. It could all be a huge mistake and once the initial shock of actually getting along had worn off he would find that he didn’t actually want anything to do with the other man… or he could actually be genuinely attracted to him. He was still testing the waters, seeing if Anders and he were actually compatible but did Anders feel the same way? He saw how he was with Isabela and Garrett too sometimes, he was a chronic flirt but he’d never actually attempted to make move on anybody. Was he just being friendly or was he showing interest? Where did they stand and how exactly should Fenris proceed without misstepping and making a fool of himself?

He shoved his clothes into his bag and stepped out of the bathroom. Anders looked up from the desk and stood before leading the way out, grabbing a handful of towels as he went. They left the shack and made their way down the beach, heading towards the ocean. Fenris was suddenly nervous. He could swim well enough but he wasn’t the strongest swimmer, and he had never attempted to swim in open water before. He knew that Anders wouldn’t let him drown but still, he couldn’t quite push the anxiety away.

They stopped just short of the waves and Anders turned back to him grinning, dropping the towels onto the sand before holding out his hand with the expectation that Fenris would take it. He scowled and debated just telling the other man no, but Fenris couldn’t quite bring himself to crush Anders’ dreams. There was a childlike excitement in his eyes and it was just too irresistible. He took his hand and Anders led him into the water.

“Are you a strong swimmer, Fenris?” Anders asked tentatively, the gentle waves lapping up his legs and soaking the hem of his skirt as they made their way forward.

“I can swim but I’m not especially proficient.” Fenris confessed. The water was up to ribs and Anders’ waist now.

A few more steps and he could no longer keep his head above the waves and his feet on the ground, forcing him to tread water to keep himself afloat. He felt his markings light up and Anders immediately ducked his head underneath the water, leaving him alone for a moment. He resurfaced a second later, everything he had been wearing, including the hair tie and the earring, were now gone and he could feel scales of the other man’s tail brush against his legs as he kicked. Anders was still smiling at him, his excitement palpable, although Fenris wasn’t sure exactly why he was so happy to have him in the water.

“I’m going to have to touch you for this and I’m not going to lie, magic is going to be involved, so it’s important that you trust me. Do you trust me, Fenris?”

He grimaced but nodded even though there was a part of him that was still suspicious, that wanted to swim back to shore.

“I guess so, yes.”

“Then take a deep breath, put your head under the water and follow my lead, okay?”

Fenris nodded again and Anders ducked back under, this time Fenris followed him. Submersing himself in the ocean water wasn’t a particularly pleasurable sensation and his eyes burned as he struggled to keep them open. In front of him he could see a slightly blurry Anders getting closer to him, taking his hand and grabbing the back of his head. Before Fenris could realise what was happening Anders was kissing him deeply, holding him close.

He had been expecting many things, but not this. His eyes widened in surprise despite the burn but he let himself relax into it. Anders had asked for his trust and Fenris was giving him a chance. Their lips were locked for what seemed simultaneously like forever and nowhere near long enough and then Anders finally pulled away, a tentative smile on his face.

Fenris assumed that his eyes must have adjusted to the water because suddenly it didn’t hurt anymore and everything was much clearer. He blinked a few times just to test it before focusing on Anders, a question in his eyes. He watched as the merman put his hand to his chest and took a deep breath before gesturing to Fenris. He wanted him to do the same, to take a breath. Fenris glared at Anders as if he’d actually gone mad, which he probably had. Still, he was extending his trust to Anders and that meant following his lead, even if it was an extraordinarily stupid thing to do. He forced himself to take a deep breath, ready to swim up to the surface the moment he began to choke on the water.

That moment never came. When he sucked in the water he found that it satisfied the need of his lungs. He could breathe in the water. He looked at Anders in wonderment and the merman grinned back at him knowingly before pointing up and swimming to the surface. Fenris followed him.

He found that he could still breathe normally above the water, the only change that had occurred was in his markings. He was glowing softly, reacting to whatever it was that Anders had done that let him breathe under the water. He should be alarmed, this was obviously unnatural, a form of magic but Anders’ glee was infectious and he found himself not caring.

“What is this?” he croaked, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Just one of the perks of being friends with a merperson.” Anders boasted. “Do you want to go explore?”

Fenris stared down into the water and weighed his options. There was officially no danger of him drowning if he took Anders up on his offer and as long as he was with Anders he felt safe enough to explore. He felt himself smiling in earnest now and he nodded eagerly, unable to hide his excitement. Anders practically squealed in delight.

“Okay, you should be able to stay under the water for about an hour before it starts to get uncomfortable again, and you won’t start actually drowning until about 10 minutes after that, so let me know when it starts getting difficult to breathe, okay?” Anders stipulated.

“Okay.” He responded before the two of them ducked back under the water together to explore the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am unfortunately not going to be able to continue with daily updates for about a week as of this chapter. The week after we will be back to business as usual but until then I wouldn't expect any updates (if you're very lucky I might add a chapter or two but honestly it's not very likely). 
> 
> A big thank you to everybody who has been reading and supporting this fic, you guys are the best!


	17. Past the Point of No Return.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris makes a choice.

Fenris had experienced some bizarre things in his life time. He was an ex-slave that had killed his master, he had lyrium branded into his flesh and he remembered practically nothing about his childhood. Some of his unusual experiences, such as this one, were actually rather pleasant though. Swimming under the sea with near perfect vision and the ability to breathe underwater was truly remarkable. It was one of the best things that had ever happened to him without a doubt, not that he had many good experiences to contend with this one.

It was a joy just watching Anders weaving through the water. On land the tail made him awkward and heavy but out in the water his movements were light and precise. His tail glimmered beautifully as the sunlight reflected off of his scales and Fenris was completely awestruck by the sight of him. Anders looked like he belonged out here, smiling and shining. He certainly should not be stuck in some stuffy office writing nonsense about dolphin behaviour, not when he was so at peace out here.

Anders took care of him as they swam, they didn’t stray too far from the shore and the merman always remained within his line of sight. He could tell that Anders was holding back, that he was capable of swimming much faster but he kept to Fenris’ pace. When the elf struggled he would take Fenris' hand and help him until he was confident enough to swim on his own again. He felt like he was forcing Anders to babysit him but the man looked so incredibly happy, like he was truly enjoying sharing this with Fenris.

They swam together for quite some time, watching the fish flit about as they explored the ocean floor. After a while though Fenris began to notice how difficult it was to breathe, his lungs suddenly couldn’t get quite enough oxygen from the water around him. When it started to actually burn he waved to get Anders’ attention and pointed upwards before kicking himself to the surface, desperate to take a proper breath of air.

Once his head was above the water he took a deep breath and to his relief he was able to breathe deeply once more. Anders popped up out of the water beside him and watched with concern as he spluttered slightly, holding his arms to ensure that he kept afloat as he gathered himself. Once he had Anders began smiling again.

“We can go back to the shore now, if you want. Or I could do the, uh, _thing_ again and we can keep going.” Anders offered, his face turning a rather adorable shade of pink.

Fenris found himself looking away and he responded much quicker than his pride liked.

“I would continue, if that is alright with you.”

Anders looked so genuinely happy that Fenris’ stomach started doing flips.

“Same as last time then, okay?” he said and the two ducked under the water once more.

-

They swam for what must have been hours, only stopping because the sun had begun to set and Anders didn’t want to risk having Fenris out in open water after dark. Fenris would have stayed out there even longer if he could have but his legs were burning with over exertion and he needed to rest anyway. They made it back to the shore and tucked themselves behind a little alcove of rocks as Anders went about drying himself off. Fenris helped with his tail once he’d gotten changed himself and then they made the walk back towards the shack.

“So… I’m guessing you’re hungry. I know I’m starving. I could cook us something, if you wanted.” Anders offered as they trudged up the beach.

“I don’t eat fish.” Fenris stipulated, causing Anders to roll his eyes.

“I have some Fenris friendly food in my fridge, I promise. I don’t _just_ eat fish.” Anders laughed.

Staying for dinner would be a step forward, Fenris realised, they would pass a point of no return. It would mean that there was the potential for more than just friendship between them. Fenris couldn’t ignore how date-like today had been, staying for dinner would just cement that in his mind. He could tell Anders no, have him drive him home and leave it at that. They would be friends, amiable to each other but nothing more. He would be drawing a line if he did that, setting boundaries. It would be easiest if he just gave up now, if he let this be it. It would be less trouble.

“I will stay for dinner.” Fenris decided, the hint of a smile on his lips. He didn’t mind a little bit of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied before about updates. I'm not sure how regular they're going to be, you might get them daily or you might get like two over the next week. Please bear with me.


	18. You Are What You Eat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad jokes are made and sob stories are told.

Anders stood over his stove, stirring the pasta so that it wouldn’t stick to the bottom of the saucepan as he tried to suppress the giddy excitement he was feeling. Those radiant smiles the elf had given him… Maker it should be illegal to be that attractive. If he knew he could get Fenris to look at him like that just by flashing his tail he would have dumped a bowl of water over his own head the moment they had met.

“It’s been so long since I’ve done that with anyone.” Anders called over his shoulder.

“Hmm?” Fenris hummed absentmindedly. He was milling about the kitchen, watching the merman cook.

“Going out in the water.” Anders explained.

“Ah. Well, I am grateful that you would share that experience with me.” Fenris admitted.

He heard the fridge door creak open behind him and turned, curious as to what Fenris was doing. He watched as the light in the back of the fridge illuminated the security guard’s disgusted expression and he had to suppress a laugh.

“How can one man possibly eat this much fish?” Fenris muttered. Honestly Anders didn’t have that much food in his fridge, he never did, but what he did have was predominately fish he would admit.

“I’m a merperson. We’re meant to live in the sea, and that means eating a lot of fish and stuff like that. Besides, you are what you eat.”

A moment of silence descended upon them.

“Did you just-“ Fenris spluttered.

Anders grinned wickedly and winked at him before turning back to the pasta.

“Do you have to eat it raw though?” Fenris moaned once he had recovered from Anders’ terrible sense of humour.

“Hey, I do cook it. Sometimes.” He shot back.

It tasted better raw, more like it was supposed to. It was what he had grown up on, what both his mother and the Templars had given him. It was only after he had left the Circle that he had tried food that the land dwellers ate. He liked it well enough but a life time of eating fish made him more inclined to choose that over anything else. As for his fondness of smaller portions… they never gave him a lot in the Circle and when he didn’t comply with the Templars he would get nothing at all. It made him less inclined to eat as much as he should, he had simply never gotten used to eating more even though he could probably benefit from doing so.

Fenris finally closed the fridge and leaned over the counter instead, inspecting what Anders was cooking. Honestly Anders had never cooked in his life until about four years ago and he rarely made anything for himself that wasn’t raw fish, but he could at least make pasta decently. Surana had insisted on teaching him how to cook something properly once she realised he had no idea how. Pasta was the one dish that he remembered how to make without burning anything, but he wouldn't tell Fenris that.

“Could you live in the sea?” Fenris asked suddenly, his eyes glued to the saucepan.

“Huh?”

“If you wanted to could you live in the sea on a permanent basis or do you have to live on the land?” he clarified.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Anders gasped, making an effort to sound scandalised.

“Of course not, I am just curious.” Fenris grumbled, finally daring to look up at Anders.

He stayed silent for a moment as he thought about the question, stirring the pasta in quiet contemplation.

“I used to actually, live in the sea I mean. I don’t think I could do it now though.” He admitted, melancholy creeping into the tone of his voice.

“Why not?” Fenris asked, his eyes were wide and his head was tilted slightly to the side, making him look like a lost little puppy. Anders generally wasn’t fond of dogs, but in this case he believed he could make an exception.

His shoulders sagged and he turned his head to look at Fenris properly.

“Look, this isn’t exactly good dinner conversation.”

“I’m sorry. I have made you uncomfortable.” Fenris mumbled, his ears drooping.

“No, no, it’s not that. I just- I don’t want to kill the mood with my sob story…”

“I would like to learn more about you. But not if it upsets you.” Fenris announced.

“I feel the same.” He confessed after a moment.

“Then let’s talk.” Fenris prompted, as if it was just that easy. Maybe it was.

“Give me a moment to dish this up then.” He said with a smile and went about dividing the pasta onto two plates.

His cutlery was a little worse for wear, he hadn’t had anybody over… well, ever he realised. How odd that it was Fenris who would be the first one here. He would’ve invited the others but, well, he lived in a shack. For one thing he feared they would try to get him to move elsewhere, Marian and Varric certainly wouldn’t approve of his current accommodation, for another there wasn’t enough room here for everybody. It was just easier to avoid inviting them over altogether.

He only had the one chair so they set a blanket out on the floor, as if they were having a picnic. It was nice, a little uncomfortable maybe but the atmosphere was cosy. Anders picked at the pasta, trying to recall the last time he had eaten something he had cooked. It had been a while, and his stomach was disagreeing with the drastic change in his diet. Fenris was eating it without complaint though, so it obviously wasn’t the pasta that was the problem, it was just him.

“I just- I wanted to thank you for giving me chance to show you that today. I know you’re not comfortable around magic.” Anders said.

He saw Fenris tense and immediately regretted the direction he had taken the conversation in.

“I have seen the very worst that magic has to offer, in fact I am an example of it.” Fenris uttered, his tone dripping with bitterness. Anders looked at him, eyes wide and expression horrified. He was about to contest the statement when Fenris continued talking. “But I have faith in you, and I am happy to keep this secret for you.”

“You don’t think I should tell the others anymore?” Anders gasped.

“No, you definitely should, although I won’t force your hand.” Fenris corrected. Anders nodded solemnly in response.

“I’ve been thinking about it, actually. I was worried that they would react badly, but you handled it well and you _hated_ me. Maybe I should give them a chance.”

“I did not _hate_ you, I was merely concerned about your secrecy.”

“Oh please! Of course you did, you threatened to turn me in to the Templars!” Anders crowed. The words were accusatory but they weren’t said with any malice.

“The Templars are not that bad.” Fenris insisted.

“They really are.”

He glared at the elf, his eyes burning with righteous fury. After a moment he saw something falter in Fenris’ expression.

“You speak from experience.” He whispered. It wasn’t a question, but Anders nodded anyway.

“They took me from my home when I was twelve and kept me in a tank. I would still be there now if I hadn’t gotten away.” Anders fumed. He tried to ignore the look of pity from Fenris. “They kept me locked away from the rest of the world, they did tests, they _hurt_ me…”

“The scars.” Fenris said softly, making Anders tense. He hadn’t been able to hide them the first or second time Fenris had seen his tail so he hadn’t bothered the third, it was obvious that Fenris had seen but it was a topic neither of them had wanted to approach until this moment.

“All courtesy of the Templars.” He rasped.

“I understand what it’s liked to be kept against your will, to be marked.” Fenris confessed, his voice thick with sorrow. “I would not wish it upon anyone but it is nice to know that I am not alone. I thought I was for a long while. I believed you were a hypocritical fool who blathered on about things he knew nothing of and I treated you as such. I was wrong, and I apologise for treating you the way I did.”

“You don’t owe me any apologies, Fenris. It was my own damned fault for keeping my past to myself.” Anders muttered.

“Still, I regret how I acted.”

“Me too.”

They looked at each other with solemn expressions for a moment before a laugh bubbled up and escaped from Anders’ chest. Fenris looked confused at his response to such a serious topic.

“I’m sorry it’s just, imagine if Garrett could see us now. I think his head would explode.” Anders giggled. He watched as Fenris considered what he said and before joining him in his laughter.

After that they were quiet for quite some time.


	19. Quite The Tail.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Anders talk about old friends and dead enemies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of attempted suicide ahead. Nothing gory, but beware.

They sat in companionable silence for some time. They had finished their meals and now Fenris was taking lazy swigs of wine straight from the bottle as they lounged on the blanket.

“You said before that you didn’t think you could live in the ocean anymore. Why is that?” Fenris asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He watched Anders shift uncomfortably and for a moment he thought the question would be deflected again, but in the end the veterinarian relinquished and answered him.

“I was only twelve when they took me to the Circle. I hadn’t learnt how to survive, not well enough to live on my own. When I escaped I had no clue how to get back to my family or where exactly it was they had taken me from… I could try and make it, if I wanted to, but it would be risky. The ocean’s a big place and it’s not exactly forgiving.  Besides, when I got out I found some friends, or they found me. As long as I was with them I was safe, and that meant staying on the shore.” Anders informed him.

“Where are these friends now?” Fenris inquired, his curiosity piqued.

“The Templars caught up with me in the end, I managed to escape but I had to leave them behind.” He revealed with a sad smile.

“I went through something similar. I made some friends when I escaped and… it didn’t end well.” Fenris admitted, shame creeping into his voice.

“What happened?” Anders questioned.

“I killed them. When my master found me he told me to do it I did, just because he asked. Afterwards, when I realised exactly what I had done I fled. I hunted Danarius down after that and I killed him too.” He gritted out, his hands shaking as he clenched his fists. He could feel Anders staring at him in shock.

“Fenris…”

“I met Marian and Garrett sometime later, they got Varric to offer me a job. I owe them a lot.” He continued, ignoring Anders’ interruption. He felt a hand on his own and he looked up, his face burning as he met Anders’ gaze.

“I had no idea… I mean I knew you had been a slave but Maker Fenris, that must have been terrible for you.”

“Terrible for me? _I_ killed _them_ remember.” Fenris snapped, feeling anger rise within him as he snatched his hand away.

“You didn’t know any better.” Anders murmured but Fenris pretended he hadn’t heard it. He was done talking about this particular topic.

“Tell me, how did you escape?” Fenris asked, desperate for a change in the subject. Anders smiled ruefully at him and gave him the distraction he wanted.

“My mother was like me but my father was from up here apparently. A human man. Such relationships are rare, children from them even more so. When the Templars caught me they assumed I was fully a merperson, I thought so too for a long time. I mean, I knew my father was human but I didn’t think it made me different… anyway it had finally become too much, life in the Circle. I couldn’t handle the thought of spending the rest of my life in there so I broke the glass in my tank and waited. I thought when I dried out I would die… I mean, that’s what usually happens, but I didn’t. I grew legs instead. Turns out if one of your parents has a tail and the other has legs you get both. I found the nearest window and I jumped out of it into the lake below. I swam to the shore and that’s where Surana found me, naked, terrified and barely able to walk.”

Fenris gaped at him in surprise.

“That’s quite the tale.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Quite the tail, you say?” Anders jested, his solemn expression fading as a grin bloomed to life in its place.

“Be serious.” Fenris chastised, nudging him in the ribs. It seemed to have the desired effect and he sobered slightly.

“Sorry, force of habit. Joking is easier than, you know.” Anders sheepishly apologised, clearly still shaken by the memory of what had happened to him despite his attempt to hide behind his sense of humour.

“Surana, were they one of the friends you talked about?” Fenris asked, trying to get them back on track.

“Yep. I wouldn’t be here without her.” He admitted, smiling fondly. Fenris felt an irrational twinge of jealousy but pushed it back, knowing that it was stupid to feel that way. Still, there was a little voice in his head that asked him what it would be like if the merman would smile like that for him. “You should have seen me when they first found me, I was hopeless, they had to teach me _everything_. Oh! Wait a second.”

Anders scrambled up from the blanket and left Fenris to nurse his bottle of wine. He watched as Anders reached under his bed and pulled a box out from under there. He retrieved a big folder from it before returning the box to its hidden spot and making his way back over to Fenris. He sat a little closer this time and placed the folder between them before he started turning the pages slowly.

It was a photo album, Fenris realised. None of the pictures were more than a few years old, he would guess that half a decade had passed since they had been taken. He noticed Anders was in most of them, he looked younger and his hair was a little longer but it was definitely him. Anders pointed a finger and drew his attention to one of the group photos. The first thing he noticed was the merman lying across the bottom of the photo in a faux seductive pose, a wicked grin on his face. The fact he was lying there so casually while showing off his tail surprised Fenris, especially because he was surrounded by people who seemed to be paying him no mind.

“That right there is Surana, the women next to her is her girlfriend, Leliana.” Anders pointed out, his finger resting just above two of the women in the photo. Surana was a small elven woman with short, silver hair and a kindly face. She had her arms wrapped around a taller redheaded human, Leliana.

He began naming the rest of the people. The tall dark haired human was Nathaniel, the angry looking Dalish elf was called Velanna, the dwarf with the serious ginger beard was Orghren and the woman beside him with dark hair and interesting facial tattoos was Sigrun. Before Anders could get to him Fenris noticed a man who stuck out, not quite as much as Anders did but still, there was something not quite right about him. He squinted at the photograph, sure that his eyes were deceiving him. The man looked human but he had to be sick or something because his skin clung to his skeleton in a sicking way and he was extraordinarily pale. Anders seemed to notice Fenris’ interest and chuckled.

“That’s Justice.”

“Justice?”

“He’s a fade spirit possessing a dead body. That’s why he looks like, well, a corpse.”

Fenris sucked in a breath. A demon possessing a dead man was posing with Anders and his friends on the beach and none of them seemed to care. He glared at Anders in confusion and disgust.

“You befriended this… thing?”

“Hey, Justice is an okay guy. I mean he is strict and bossy but he’s always been nice to me.”

“That is a _demon_.”

“He’s a spirit actually. It’s a totally different thing. Besides he kind of saved my life so I won’t hear you say anything bad about him, okay?” Anders insisted.

“Saved your life? How?”

“When the Templars finally caught up with me he helped me get away.”

“I see.”

Fenris contemplated this information and Anders took the opportunity to turn the page. The album seemed to consist of a series of pictures of different combinations of the same group of people who Anders had just named. A lot of the pictures featured Anders with his tail, though just as many were of him without it. In one he was sitting at a bar with the dark haired human and the red headed dwarf, in another he was pressing a kiss to the human man’s cheek, his tail laid out behind him. There was a rather nice photo of Surana and her girlfriend laying on the beach, and then one of Surana and Anders in the water together, only their heads visible.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t get any photos while we were actually underwater.” Anders sighed wistfully. “We could have gotten some really good shots.”

Suddenly Fenris felt rather jealous. This was an impressive collection of memories, of good times with friends. Fenris didn’t have anything like this, for one thing there was a portion of his past that was lost to him forever, for another the idea of collecting photos like this had never even occurred to him. Maybe he should start. He could ask Anders how he did it, get some pointers… No, he would just look foolish.

“You looked really happy.” He whispered, brushing his fingers over the picture of Anders and Surana.

“I was, but I’m happy here too. I just… I wish I could have left them on better terms.” Anders sighed bitterly.

“They were mad that you left?” Fenris asked.

“I’m pretty sure they think that I’m dead.” He replied bluntly.

Fenris gaped at him.

“ _What_?”

“Well when the Templars caught up with us Justice and I ran. There was a big fire and well, we never exactly called to tell them we hadn’t died in it. It was too dangerous.”

A heavy silence descended after that until Anders sighed loudly and snapped the album closed.

“It’s getting late, I should probably drive you home.” Anders announced, already getting to his feet.

Fenris set the wine bottle down on the floor and followed him without complaint.

-

They drove in the dark, not saying another word to one another until the car had stopped and they were parked outside of Fenris' house. Both fidgeted in their seats as they tried to think of the right thing to say and in the end it was Anders who plucked up the courage to speak first.

“You know, I’m always happy to have someone to swim with.” Anders said after a moment, his words careful. “If you ever wanted to do that again…”

“Really?” Fenris gasped, his ears perking up involuntarily.

“Defiantly.” Anders confirmed, smiling now.

“I would like that.” He decided.

They smiled at each other for another moment before Fenris unbuckled his seat belt, opened the car door and got out, turning back one last time before he let himself into his house.

“Goodnight, Anders.”

“Goodnight, Fenris.”


	20. Pucker Up, Birthday Boy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris tries to do something nice for Anders and Isabela gets to kiss a lot of people.

Their little swimming dates became a regular thing. They would spend Saturday afternoons in the water and then they would have dinner afterwards. Sometimes Anders would cook, other times they would head to Fenris’ and get take out. Neither of them were particularly proficient chefs so they got take out more often than not. They would spend the evening together, eating and getting to know each other. Fenris talked about his time as a slave, revealing more about himself than he had ever told anyone else, even the Hawke twins. Anders talked about his time in the Circle, opening up about his past for the first time in years. It didn’t take them long to become close.

Their relationship at work didn’t reflect this progress. Fenris was a very private person, he didn’t particularly want anybody else to know that he was finally getting on with Anders, not when he wasn’t exactly sure where they stood. Anders respected this even though he didn’t really understand it and the two simply avoided each other when they could and scowled when they were forced to interact. The Hawkes seemed at a loss for what to do with them, but were mostly just grateful that they weren’t trying to beat the shit out of each other anymore.

This arrangement worked well for them up until Anders’ birthday. Garrett, Marian and Merrill liked to make a big fuss out of everyone’s birthdays, they had even gone to the length of allocating one to Fenris, who wasn’t sure when he was born. This meant that everybody got a party whether they wanted one or not and everybody was expected to attend. This is what had led Marian to corner Fenris during their lunchbreak one day a week before Anders' party.

“You have to come.” She demanded, pouting _exactly_ the way Garrett did when he wanted something.

Fenris fidgeted uncomfortably. Truly he did not need convincing, he had been planning to show up and celebrate with Anders anyway, not going hadn’t even occurred to him. Marian took his silence as refusal and huffed at him.

“Look, you don’t even have to get him a present! Just show your face, sing happy birthday and get really, _really_ drunk or something. Please, for me?” she begged, her usually icy blue eyes taking on a strange warmth that he couldn’t have said no to even if he had wanted to in the first place.

“Fine.” He growled, frowning just for good measure. Marian beamed at him and gave him a quick hug, thanking him quietly before taking her leave.

He had naturally assumed that he would show up to Anders’ party but Marian had mentioned presents. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Marian had said he didn’t need to get anything but she didn’t know just how close he and Anders were. He wanted to get Anders a gift, something special, not out of obligation but because he wanted to show that he cared. But what? He felt he knew the man pretty well by now but he could think of nothing he would want. He lived simply and seemed happy to do so. Fenris would have to think this over, wrack his brains so he could come up with something worthy of his friend.

-

He spent the rest of the week coming up with ideas. In the end he cut it a little close, purchasing the gift the day of the actual party. He didn’t even have time to even wrap it in the end, he just shoved it into his bag and made his way to the Hawke household.

The party was already in full swing by the time he got there. Aveline and Donnic sat together in a quiet corner with their fingers entwined, Merrill was babbling enthusiastically to Isabela who looked positively smitten and Garrett had one beefy arm wrapped around the Anders, who was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. It was nice to see him so genuinely happy but that little voice in the back of his head that was only getting louder and louder the more he got to know Anders was screaming at him, asking him why _he_ couldn’t be like that with the merman.

Marian appeared from nowhere, she put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a knowing smile which he did not return. Before she could say anything Bethany and Varric appeared from the kitchen. Bethany was carrying a large cake that Garrett had obviously decorated himself if the garish colour scheme and ridiculous amount of icing were anything to go by and Varric had his phone out, recording her every move. A chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ erupted and Anders beamed at them before blowing out the candles. After that there was cake and copious amounts of alcohol.

Fenris wasn’t feeling nearly as jovial as the rest of them. He was worried about his gift. What if it was a bad idea? What if Anders didn’t like it or he had overstepped a boundary? Fenris hadn’t been close to many people in his life, knowing what was socially acceptable wasn’t something that came easily to him. His nervousness made him broodier than usual, he drank too much too fast and scowled at everybody who tried to talk to him. They all assumed it was because he hated Anders and mostly left him to it, although occasionally someone would try to involve him in conversation, mostly Merrill who didn’t seem to understand the ‘I-will-tear-out-your-heart-if-you-talk-to-me’ vibes he was giving out.

“Spin the bottle!” Marian slurred suddenly, which caused Isabela to whoop and Aveline to groan.

He had seen this game played in films but he had never played himself. From what he understood it was something teenagers played as an excuse to make out with one another. Everyone flocked to the middle of the room and he followed them absently, scowling still. They sat in a circle, an empty wine bottle that he had drained earlier was placed in the middle. Anders, who was sitting next to Garrett and Varric, looked around nervously.

“I don’t think I’ve played this game before.” He admitted, much to the surprise of everyone but Fenris. None of the rest of them knew that Anders hadn’t lived as a free man on land until a few years ago. There was much of the world he hadn’t had a chance to experience, and spin the bottle seemed to be one of the things he had missed out on. Before anybody could give him grief for his lack of knowledge Fenris piped up.

“I am unfamiliar with this game. Somebody explain it to me.” He demanded, the alcohol in his system making him blunter than usual. He was lying, he knew of the game well enough to play but the explanation wasn’t for his benefit, it was for Anders. They would expect him to not know things because he had been a slave, it was the perfect cover story. He saw from across the circle Anders flashing a small, grateful smile at him and warmth spread through his chest.

After a brief explanation from Marian, who explained that they were playing a variation of the game that involved truth and dare options for those who didn’t want to kiss (which the siblings in the circle were grateful for) they began. As it was technically his party Anders spun first, the bottle landed on Isabela who was grinning wickedly.

“Pucker up, Birthday Boy.” She crowed, leaning across the circle towards Anders.

Fenris felt his stomach flip and he looked over at Merrill, who was smiling contentedly even as her girlfriend was leaning over to kiss somebody else. He wondered what it would be like to be so secure in your relationship that something like this wouldn’t bother you.

Anders leaned in and they kissed over the bottle. It wasn’t anything passionate, just a simple kiss but they lingered for long enough to make Fenris uncomfortable. This was nothing, Anders was used to kissing people without romantic or sexual connotation, he had to do it if he wanted to help someone to breathe underwater and this was no different. It hurt, thinking that their kisses had meant nothing… he saw Anders’ gaze flit over to him and the moment they locked eyes he pulled away from Isabela as though he had been burned. A flush crept up Fenris’ face but fortunately nobody, not even Anders, seemed to notice it.

Isabela hummed contentedly to herself before spinning the bottle once more. This time the top pointed firmly towards Marian. With a smile the two wordlessly leaned over and locked lips. They were more passionate than Anders and Isabela had been, Fenris could clearly see Marian slipping her tongue into Isabela’s mouth. Merrill didn’t seem too upset by this, in fact the kiss seemed to have quite the opposite effect on her if the red in her cheeks and her wide, owlish gaze were anything to go by. Garrett started making retching noises when they started moaning into each other’s mouths and Aveline forcefully grabbed Marian by the hips to sit her back down.

The game was rather bizarre. Fortunately Fenris managed to avoid having to kiss anyone, he simply wasn’t in the mood and chose dares instead, but he got to see a very strange combination of people making out, burning images into his mind that he could never unsee. Garrett kissing Donnic, dipping him as if he were a swooning maiden as Aveline watched them in horror, her face turning almost as red as her hair was not something he would forget anytime soon.

The fact that the bottle mysteriously seemed to land on any combination of Isabela, Marian and Merrill for most of the night was not suspicious at all. Fenris wished they would just come out and say that they were interested in one another already instead of dancing around each other and forcing the rest of them to witness their sloppy make out sessions. By the time the game was over and everybody was simply drinking again it became clear that his wish might just come true, as the three women were huddled together in the corner, whispering into one another’s ears suggestively.

He had grown weary of the festivities by this point. Everybody was so loud and cheerful and all it did was make him grumpier and grumpier. He left to clear his head, letting himself out through the kitchen and into the garden. At least out there he could breathe, could collect his thoughts and try to calm himself down.

“Are you okay?”

He turned to see a very concerned Anders. He had followed him out, leaving his own party behind just to make sure that he was alright. It was such an Anders thing to do, it shouldn’t have surprised him.

“I am fine.” He sniffed, unwilling to say more.

Anders was quiet for a moment before he walked past Fenris and took a seat on the stone bench that was situated in the middle of the small but well-groomed garden. He looked up at the sky, at double moon and the few stars that were barely visible thanks to the lights of the city, but Fenris couldn’t tear his eyes away from Anders. Even though he was looking a little worse for wear after hours of partying there was something inherently charming about him that made him pleasant to watch.

“Birthdays on land are so _weird_. I remember Leliana trying to explain them to me for the first time, I thought she was trying to trick me. They’re fun though.” Anders confided, a wistful smile on his face. “Not so sure about spin the bottle, not that I don’t _love_ to watch Isabela, Marian and Merrill sticking their tongues down each other’s throats.”

Before Fenris could lose his nerve he reached into his bag and thrust the unwrapped box into Anders’ lap without warning. The man stared down at the parcel in shock before looking up quizzically at Fenris.

“Happy Birthday.” He grunted, sounding a lot less friendly than he had intended.

Anders just stared back down at the box in his lap before picking it up and giving it a good look over. He squinted at it in the dark, his human eyes unable to see what Fernis’ superior elven ones could. It took him a moment but he eventually managed to figure out exactly what it was.

“A camera?”

Fenris sighed and sat next to Anders on the bench, pointing to the text at the top of the box that Anders couldn’t read in the dark.

“It’s waterproof.”

Anders stared at him in shock.

“You mean-“

“You will be able to take it with you when you go swimming, yes. You mentioned before, wishing you could take photos in the sea and-“

Fenris was suddenly cut off by Anders, who lunged at him. If not for Fenris’ excellent sense of balance the both of them would’ve fallen from the bench, but as it was Fenris managed to catch Anders as he was pulled into a hug.

“Thank you so much Fenris.” He breathed into his ear, sending shivers down the elf’s spine.

It shouldn’t have been such a big deal. He kissed Anders on a regular basis, but that was different. There was nothing particularly romantic about it, it was necessary so that they could swim together. But this, this was real affection that Anders was showing him. Had anyone else tried this he may have pushed them away but with Anders… he found himself enjoying the contact a great deal more than he probably should have.


	21. The Dangers of Selfie Expression.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders slips up.

Anders and Fenris spent a great deal of time taking photos. Now when on their weekly swims they would take a picture of anything they found interesting, though many of photos were of themselves. Selfies, candid shots, posed pictures… the camera was full of them. Fenris, who usually hated having his picture taken didn’t mind so much when Anders took the photo. It wasn’t like he could ever show them to anybody else, they were just for the two of them, a private documentation of their time spent together.

Anders even started a new photo album, just of him and Fenris. He didn’t tell the elf about it, he didn’t know what he would make of it. Anders had another one that included all of his friends but the underwater shots they had taken were special enough to deserve their own folder. Fenris in the water, lyrium lines lit up, his shock of white hair dancing freely in the water as he floated peacefully… it was an image worth preserving. Anders found himself staring at the photos a lot more than he probably should but he couldn’t help it. There were some beautiful shots, lovely enough to make even a professional photographer jealous and he had the perfect model.

He had to be careful getting the images printed. Nobody else could be allowed to see them, not the pictures of him with his tail or of Fenris glowing. While he was out and about his marks could easily be mistaken for vallaslin, but when he glowed there was no doubt that there was something different about the lines. While the elf wasn’t a mage he was technically magical and he dreaded to think what the Templars would do to get their hands on him if they took interest. Templars loved lyrium, they were addicted to the stuff. Even though Fenris seemed to trust the bastards Anders didn’t. He knew what they would do with a living supply of lyrium and he never wanted to see Fenris put through that.

Getting the photos printed himself meant that he had to take the Camera into work. Once everyone had left for the day he could abuse his printing privileges and print them out on some photo paper he had brought with him. He was careful not to leave his bag about, to always keep the camera with him. How Isabela managed to get her hands on it the Maker only knows.

He should have expected it really. Isabela was sneaky and she always had her hands in everyone’s pockets. She gave everything back usually, but not before having a good nose. He had to hand it to her, she was a good pickpocket, he didn’t even know she had the damn thing until he heard her scandalised purr.

“Oooooooohhhhhhhh, what do we have here?”

His first thought was that Isabela had a camera that looked an awful lot like the one in his bag. Then he realised that it _was_ his camera and he began to panic. Without a second though he lunged across the table in an effort to confiscate it before she could see anything truly incriminating. She managed to keep it out of his reach and Anders scrambled up, climbing across the table in his desperation.

The others just gawked at them. It was lunch time and they had all sat down together for a pleasant meal, none of them had expected anybody to start climbing all over the furniture. Isabela was standing on the chair and was holding the camera away from Anders, clearly about to start flicking through the pictures when Fenris snatched it away with a growl. Anders paled as Isabela laughed, a shrill sound that wasn’t exactly helping him to refrain from punching her in the throat for her transgression.

Andraste’s rounded tits, what had she seen? There were so many pictures of him with a tail on there, had she seen it all? She seemed a little too smug and not nearly shocked enough so there was a chance that she hadn’t, but then what had her grinning at him like the cat that had just gotten the cream?

“Oh, this is too good.” She growled, licking her lips mischievously.

“What is, Bela?” Merrill asked with wide eyed innocence.

“It would seem that our favourite broody elf and our resident veterinarian here have been getting along a little better than they had us believe.”

Anders looked over to Fenris who held up the camera, showing him exactly what Isabela had just seen. It was one of his favourite photos actually, a selfie they had taken together on a whim. They were huddled together underwater, Anders was winking at the camera with his tongue out and Fenris was smiling brilliantly, a rare display of pure happiness that he only ever got to see when it was just the two of them. It contrasted starkly with the Fenris he saw now, who was frowning gravely at him.

Fortunately the camera only captured their heads and their shoulders, Isabela hadn’t seen his tail but she knew the two of them were spending time together and that Anders had been in the water. Any excuse he had made about reacting badly to salt water or being afraid of it in the past were now clearly bullshit, his lies were coming undone and he could feel himself starting to sweat.

“Let me see!” Garrett boomed, reaching for the camera. Fenris hissed at him and held it away, giving Varric access to the photo by mistake. The dwarf took one good look at it and his eyebrows shot right up. He turned to Anders and he could feel himself shrink under the man's accusing glare.

“For somebody who has a severe phobia of water you sure seem to be just fine with it there.”

“Wait what?” Marian crowed, suddenly interested in getting a look. She snatched it out of Fenris’ grasp and everybody crowded around her to sneak a peek. Before they could think to scroll further Anders snatched it back and stuffed it into his bag.

He gave Fenris a once over. He seemed smaller than usual, and very pale. It wasn’t his secret that was about to be blown but it might as well have been from the looks of him. He was a naturally private person and having everybody know about his affairs was a low blow. Anders swallowed and took a deep breath, already kicking himself for what he was about to do.

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal. Yes, Fenris and I have been spending some time together. Yes, I have been swimming with him.” Anders explained with a calmness he did not feel.

“That’s a fairly fucking big deal to me.” Garrett huffed.

“Look, just- you’re welcome to join us next time we go together. You’ll see why we’ve been swimming together, and why I didn’t say anything about it.”

Fenris stared at him, those big mossy green eyes wide with shock. He turned and gave him an apologetic smile.

“Meet at Fenris’, Saturday at twelve. Bring your bikinis or whatever.”

All those familiar faces glaring at him like this was too much. He turned on his heel and left before anyone could stop him. He hated abandoning Fenris to the onslaught of questions that would surely come but he had just made a very big decision, one that could seriously ruin his life. What other choice did he have though? He had to make a leap of faith, he needed to trust in his friends and hope that they would react with as much grace as Fenris had.


	22. Disaster.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bethany is the bearer of bad news.

Things between Anders, Fenris and their friends were awkward for the rest of the week. Fenris hadn’t had a chance to talk to Anders alone, he was too busy avoiding everyone and their teasing. What was the merman thinking? Fenris wanted him to share his secret but not on a whim like this, he wanted to make sure that Anders was happy to reveal this to his friends, that he was doing it because he wanted to not because he felt forced.

Fenris was finally going to go and confront him on the Friday before he was to reveal himself, to make sure that he really was okay with this. The elf never got a chance. Disaster struck and it hit _hard_.

Little Bethany Hawke flew into the break room about mid-afternoon, racing about like a whirlwind of mussed up raven hair and worried brown eyes, Garrett’s eyes. Fenris was the only one there and she raced towards him without hesitation, grabbing his arm with a much tighter grip than Fenris thought her capable of.

“Where are Garrett and Marian?” she demanded, her usually demure expression replaced by something primal and desperate.

“They’re working-“ he began before Bethany cut him off and started dragging him towards the door.

“Come on, we don’t have much time.”

She continued to drag him about as she searched for them, her eyes desperately scanning the water for her siblings. When she saw them she actually started to run despite the danger of slipping on the wet ground. She waved frantically at them from the side of the pool, yelling loudly and not caring about the spectacle she was making out of herself.

“Marian! Garrett! Get out of the water, _now!_ ” She howled, her delicate features scrunching together tragically.

At the behest of their little sister the Hawkes were out of the water in record time. They raced up to her in unison, wide eyed with concern.

“What is it, Beth?” Garrett asked, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. She was shaking, although it was barely noticeable thanks to how out of breath she was.

“Carver called.” She announced, to the surprise of everybody present. Carver never called his family any more, not even his twin sister.

“What? Why?” Marian probed.

“He wanted to warn you. There are Templars on their way _right now_ , they could already be here. He said he didn’t know why but that there are a couple of them and that they want to talk to Varric.”

The news was devastating. Marian looked between her two mage siblings and her usual cool, calm persona fractured, leaving behind somebody Fenris didn’t quite know, somebody who was as lost and scared as the rest of them. It was frightening, watching her flail like this. If Marian couldn’t handle this…

Garrett picked up the slack in her place. It’s what always happened, when one of them failed the other would take charge and everything would be okay again. He began barking orders, telling Bethany to go and fetch Merrill while Marian brought the car around. Carver had brought them some time, enough that they could make their escape if they were quick. They trusted Varric to make an excuse for them, to explain their absence away if somebody inquired after them.

Fenris barely paid attention to any of this.

Where was Anders?

The others didn’t know, they couldn’t possibly know just how much trouble Anders was in. What if they were here for him, what if that’s why they were coming? Fenris had to warn him and he had to do it fast, before the Templars could get to him. He started towards the building where Anders’ office was only for Marian to catch his arm. The woman was incredibly strong, easily as muscular as Fenris was. If she wanted him to stay where he was he would have no choice, not when she physically restrained him.

“Fenris, you have to come with us.” She reasoned. Her cool façade had returned, she spoke with her usual level headedness.

“No, I must-“ he began.

“There’s no time, if the Templars find out that’s lyrium in your skin I don’t know if they’ll want to drag you away. It’s too risky to stay.” Garrett snapped.

Fenris looked between the two of them. He could explain. Anders was telling them on Saturday anyway, all he had to do was say that he was in danger, Fenris wouldn’t give his secret away but he would ensure that the Hawkes knew that Anders was in trouble. That would take a while though, and then the twins would weigh their options and argue it out before making any decisions, the way they always did. He simply didn’t have time for that.

He made a split second decision and phased his arm through Marian’s grasp much to the woman’s dismay. He raced towards the building that housed Anders’ office, ignoring the call of the Hawke twins behind him.

“Get to the car, I’ll get him.” He heard Marian say.

He picked up his pace, all he had to do was get to Anders and then he would be perfectly happy to let her drag him back to the car, so long as he had the merman in tow. That meant that he had to outrun her though, and he knew from experience that Hawke was quick on her feet when she wanted to be, faster than him for sure.

He burst through the doors, heartbeat thundering violently in his ears. _Please don’t let me be too late, please don’t let them have taken him._ His mind was flooded with terrible images, of Anders beaten and bloody, of him withering away in a tank in the dark, alone forever. _Please let him be safe._

The door to Anders’ office was shut firmly, there was no one else about, no Templars trying to knock the door down. He sped towards it, he could hear Marian catching up to him. Just a little further then it would be fine. He could grab Anders and they could all leave together. Nobody would be taken and locked away. He burst into the office without warning and took a moment to assess the situation. He felt his heart plummet in his chest.

Anders was sitting behind his desk with a tight lipped smile and two Templars were sitting on the other side, sipping at mugs of tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ everybody who hated me for yesterday's cliffhanger I BET YOU REALLY HATE ME NOW and I am so very sorry.


	23. The Templars Who Came to Tea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders, Fenris, Marian and Varric deal with some unwanted visitors.

Fenris immediately regretted not entering with more caution. The Templars whirled around in their chairs, tea momentarily forgotten as they stared up at him in shock. Anders continued to smile tersely, his face stuck in a passive mask.

“Ah, Fenris, Marian, we’re kind of busy right now. Can you come back later please?” Anders requested a little too politely. His poker was still abysmal, he was trying too hard to act natural and it was obvious.

“Who is this?” one of the Templars inquired, looking Fenris over in confusion.

The one who asked about him was a man no older than they were with waves of blond hair and a look of perpetual tiredness. The person beside him was older, a bald man with an unattractive beard and icy blue eyes that rivalled Marian’s. The blond looked like he just wanted to go home, it was the other man that worried Fenris, he was eyeing everyone up with a sort of morbid interest that could only prove to be dangerous.

“These are my co-workers.” Anders informed the Templars before turning back to Fenris and Marian. “Whatever it is you need it can wait, I’m sure. I’ll talk to you later.”

Anders gestured to the door with a shaking hand. Venhedis, the cruel looking man took notice of how he trembled. Fenris wondered just how much trouble he would cause if he teared these men’s hearts out of their chests. He might have no other choice if they tried to take Anders away.

“No, no, maybe they could offer us some insight while we wait for your boss. Have either of you noticed any magical activity on this site? We’ve heard some… interesting reports.” The bald man drawled. His voice sent shivers down Fenris’ spine, he reminded him a little too much of another man, old and cruel with a piercing blue gaze…

“I can’t say that we have. What have you heard?” Marian inquired, her voice strained.

“I’m afraid that is confidential.” The younger man sighed, nudging his co-worker before leaning over to whisper to him. “This is a waste of our time…”

“Fenris, Marian!”

Everybody turned to see Varric enter the room with a stack of discs marked with dates, their security footage. Anders eyed the discs warily and Fenris hoped desperately that the security camera hadn’t picked up anything suspicious. The mages avoided casting at work and Fenris generally didn’t use his lyrium brands unless it was an emergency, as for Anders Fenris had been assured after one of their little swimming dates that he always took care of any evidence of his tail, and that included the security footage. Besides Varric surely wouldn’t let the Templars see tapes of his friends using magic, there was little to worry about.

“Hey Fenris, you’re security. Have you noticed anything weird about our tapes?” Varric asked him suddenly.

Fenris shook his head. That was more of a question for Aveline, Fenris rarely took responsibility for security cameras, he preferred to prowl around and deter any criminal activity through his terrifying presence alone. Aveline was the one who handled most of the office work in their division.

“We noticed some gaps in our security tapes at night. Anders is the only one who is ever here at that time but he says he hasn’t seen anything unusual.” Varric revealed. He noticed Anders twitched nervously at that.

“If it is a matter of security then Aveline and I can deal with this affair ourselves.” Fenris announced before turning to the Templars. “If the matter turns out to be magical I assure you we will inform you immediately.”

“You are not equipped to deal with mages the way we are, sir.” The cruel man sneered condescendingly. Fenris didn’t miss the way the man’s eyes were starting to linger on his tattoos, it made him feel sick but he remained stone-faced.

“This is a bit of an overreaction isn’t it? If it were mages causing problems surely there would be more evidence of magic than some missing security footage. Anybody could delete some tapes.” Marian reasoned.

The blond man drained what was left of his tea and stood, turning to his colleague. “I told you so. Come on, we’ve wasted enough time here, there’s nothing more to find.”

The cruel man seemed unconvinced but he stood anyway, eyeing Anders, Fenris and Marian curiously.

“We will take the tapes anyway and look over the footage. We expect you will call us if you notice _any_ magical activity.” He demanded.

They made for the door, the blond man stopping in front of them before taking his leave.

“Mages… they may look like people but I assure you, they are not like us. It really is very important that you contact us if you notice _anything_.” He stressed, placing a casual hand on Marian’s shoulder for a moment and giving her a tight smile as he made his way out.

Fenris was frankly quite surprised that Marian didn’t rip the Templar’s arm off for daring to touch her so casually after what he had just said to her about mages, about her family. He could see the look of outrage and disgust that flitted over her features the moment the blond could no longer see her.

Then she turned on him.

Both of the Templars were gone now, and Marian Hawke was _furious_. The second the door clicked behind them she had Fenris by the shirt, her expression one of pure unadulterated rage. There was fire in her eyes and it felt as if her stare was burning through him. Fenris had never seen her so angry.

“Why the **_fuck_** did you do that? What is wrong with you?!” she screeched.

Fenris paled and his gaze flitted away from the very angry woman in front of him towards Anders. He felt his heart lurch at the sight of the other man. He looked like he was struggling to breathe, his eyes were wide and unseeing, his usually attentive amber gaze panicked and unfocused. Fenris went slack jawed and suddenly the burning fury that Marian was directing at him, the tense anger that would at any other time have consumed him suddenly seemed a million miles away.

“Hey Blondie, you alright?” Varric asked tentatively, the other man’s distress had not gone unnoticed, it would seem.

Now Marian was staring at Anders too, though she was still clawing at Fenris’ shirt. Anders managed to answer them despite appearing to be a million miles away and he started shaking his head.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” He managed to say in between desperate breaths.

Varric immediately handed him the half empty paper bin that Anders kept near his desk. Fenris saw Marian’s eyes widen in alarm before she let him go and made her way towards Anders. She took his hand and began speaking slowly, her voice low and soothing.

“Anders, you need to breathe. Can you breathe with me? Watch.” She instructed, putting his hand on her ribcage so she could feel the rise and fall of her chest. She took long breaths through her nose and exhaled slowly, trying to encourage him to do the same. Anders tried but Fenris could see him struggling.

It took Anders fifteen minutes to calm down enough to talk, and even then he was still wild with panic. Fenris couldn’t blame him, if he was in this position, if he had to sit before Tevinter Magisters and smile as if nothing was wrong… he shuddered to think of how he would react. Certainly not with as much grace as Anders had.

“What’s wrong, Anders?” Marian finally asked, the usual harshness gone from her person for the time being.

“I uh… Templars.”

“Templars?”

“They may have an interest in me.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Varric asked carefully.

“It means if they ever find out who I am… well, it was nice knowing you.” Anders spat out bitterly.

Marian began swearing, saying some rather unflattering things about the Maker and his bride, while Varric opted to bury his face in his hands and grumble to himself.

“You _are_ a mage!” Marian accused, her voice going up an octave.

“I’m really not.” Anders assured her.

“He speaks the truth.” Fenris confirmed.

That made Marian pause. Considering Fenris was the poster boy for the ‘Anders is a mage’ theory the fact that he was now stating the contrary was enough to convince both Marian and Varric that Anders was no mage.

“Look it really doesn’t matter, okay? I’ll explain everything tomorrow when everyone’s together, but for now all you need to know is that the Templars are looking for me.” Anders snapped, still shaking and bleary eyed. “Look, I’m- I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry…”

“You should have told us. Do you have any idea the danger you’ve put us all in?” Marian snapped as she folded her arms across her chest.

“I know _! I bloody know_ but… I couldn’t, I-” he began, his breathing becoming laboured again.

Before he could work himself up any more than he already had Varric pipped up and bodily put himself between Marian and Anders.

“We’re not going to solve anything by upsetting him more, Marian. Let’s just deal with this and we’ll talk about it tomorrow when everyone has a clearer head.” Varric snipped at his friend, shocking Fenris. He’d never seen him be so short with any of the Hawkes, clearly Marian was shocked by this sudden outburst too because she backed away from them meekly.

“I’m sorry, Blondie… I thought it would be safe, leaving them in here with you.” Varric apologised, emotion seeping into his voice in a way that really didn’t suit the cocksure dwarf.

“No, no, you didn’t know, it’s my own blighted fault.” Anders sniffed gratefully. “Maker’s hairy ballsack, I am such an idiot…”

Before Anders could spew any more self-deprecations Marian intervened.

“You’re coming home with me today. It’s not safe to leave you on your own.”

Anders looked up in shock but before he could either deny or accept her demands Fenris cut in.

“I will stay also.”

“What? Fenris-“ Marian tried to cut in.

“Even you would be unable to defend Anders, Bethany, Garrett _and_ your mother all at once. I will help to ensure their safety.”

“Izzy and Merrill will be there too.” She argued but Fenris only shook his head.

“Then there are even more mages that will need to be protected. I doubt you and Isabela could singlehandedly fight off a group of Templars, not when you have so many to defend.” Fenris reasoned.

“Fenris is right. I’ll stay too.” Varric insisted.

Marian sighed. “Thank you, both of you.”

“I need to make some phone calls, find out who tipped the Templars off any what exactly it was that they said.” Varric announced.

“I need to find Garrett, make sure everyone’s okay too… Fenris can you stay here with Anders until we get back?” Marian asked, her face a mask of seriousness.

He nodded curtly and the two made their leave, Varric giving Anders one last reassuring pat on the shoulder.

The merman had been too quiet throughout the last part of that conversation, he was pale and shaking and he looked small despite being the lankiest person Fenris had ever seen. The moment the door clicked behind Varric and they were alone Anders was out of his seat, making his way unsteadily towards the elf.

“Fen…” Anders muttered, wrapping himself around the security guard and clinging as if his life depended on it. Fenris returned the gesture without a second thought, holding him tightly.

The Templars had been here, in this very office. They had been so close, one slip up and Anders would have been taken away forever, locked away in a little tank for the rest of his life. Fenris was seriously starting to reconsider his view of Templars. Mages may need to be watched and guarded, they were dangerous after all, but torture? Tranquillity? After all that Anders had told him, the way he trembled whenever anyone so much as mentioned Templars whether from fury or fear… he was unsure how he felt about the Circle but he knew in that moment that there was no way he would ever let them lay their hands on Anders ever again.


	24. Fight For It.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Anders get emotional.

They held each other for a long time, Anders crying into Fenris’ shoulder and Fenris muttering soothing words as he ran nimble fingers through blond hair, trying to calm the merman however he could.

“Fen, I have to leave.” Anders muttered.

“What?” Fenris choked out.

“I can’t- There were Templars here and they were probably looking for me.”

“We don’t know that-“

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t just stay here and wait for them to find me. I need to go.”

Fenris only held him closer, clinging as if Anders would simply disappear at any moment, would turn to smoke in his hands and be gone forever.

“Varric will handle this. None of us will let them take you.”

“You don’t understand. They’ll hurt you too, I can’t be responsible for that.” Anders decided with a firm nod, pushing Fenris away.

The thought of Anders going, of leaving him forever… it filled Fenris with dread. He had never admitted it out loud but Anders was his best friend, more than that maybe. What would he do without him? It wasn’t a question Fenris ever wanted answering.

“I never told you.” Anders said with a sigh, sliding down the wall and leaning against it wearily. “About Karl.”

Fenris joined him, sitting by his side and watching him attentively, waiting for him to tell his story.

“Not many people were allowed to know about me in the Circle. It’s rare that the Chantry ever gets their hands on a merperson and they didn’t want anybody to know I even existed. The Templars conducted most of the… _tests_ , but there were certain things that they could not do themselves, _magical_ things. A handful of the Enchanters, the best behaved ones or the most talented, were brought in to work with me. There was one, Karl, who was different from the others.”

Fenris saw the flicker of a smile, the sorrow in his eyes.

“He was nice to me, treated me like an actual person. He used to sneak into my cell just so he could talk to me or read to me… I loved him. We couldn’t be together, not really. I remember we would kiss through the glass when nobody else was about, it was silly but-“ Anders choked, taking a moment to gather his emotions before continuing.

“Anyway we were close. When the Templars found out about us they dragged him away. The next time I saw him he was… that _bloody sunburst_ was on his forehead and he, he looked straight through me, like he didn’t-“ Anders sobbed, tears falling freely once more.

Fenris pulled him close, letting Anders weep into his shoulder. He could feel his own eyes tearing up, a rare occurrence. He couldn’t imagine… Nobody had ever tried to befriend him back in Tevinter. He was Danarius’ dreaded pet, a monster to be avoided at all costs. But if they had... it was worse, having a friend that they could then take away. At least he had never had his heart broken like that, any connections from his past were lost to him. He had nothing to lose, only himself. He thought for a split second of Anders, amber eyes empty and a sunburst on his brow. It made him feel sick.

“They could do the same thing to you, or something just as horrible. They would want your lyrium, Fenris, would want a compliant living source of the stuff. They would do anything to you to get it. I can’t- I can’t lead them to you. I can’t have what happened to Karl happen to you. Nobody else should get hurt because of me.” Anders whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Fenris pulled him up, cupping his cheeks carefully and brushing away the tears with the pad of his thumb as he stared into amber eyes with determination.

“They will not hurt you again, Anders. I will not allow it.” Fenris assured him. “They will not have either of us. If they try to take us then I shall kill them all.”

Anders melted into him, leaning into the elf’s touch.

“I can’t risk everyone-“

“I once lived as you did, always looking over my shoulder, constantly afraid that Danarius would drag me back to Tevinter. It is no way to live your life, Anders. Eventually you will have to face your demons and fight. You have friends here who love you, who will fight for you. Let us help you.”

Anders looked into Fenris’ mossy green eyes and he could see hope in the merman’s gaze. He wanted to believe, to put his faith in Fenris and his friends, it was obvious. He leaned closer uncertainly, and with excruciatingly careful movements he pressed his lips to Fenris’. Fenris returned the kiss eagerly, holding Anders close as if to say ‘nobody will ever take you from me’. It was a chaste but powerful gesture, and when it was over he felt Anders press their foreheads together, their noses brushing lightly.

“This life I have made for myself, the friendship you’ve shown me… it’s worth fighting for.” Anders decided, staring deeply into his eyes.

“Then fight for it.” Fenris demanded and Anders nodded solemnly, knowing that he would not be alone in his struggle.


	25. Interested.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment of reprieve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse this chapter is just feelings and fluff.
> 
> We'll get to the good stuff tomorrow I promise.

They went to the Hawke household as soon as work finished, they would have left the site earlier but they didn’t want to rouse suspicion. Merrill and Isabela were there to spend the night with their girlfriend, Varric and Fenris were there to help keep the house safe and Anders was there for his own protection. The only person missing was Aveline.

They sat huddled together in the living room. The Hawke family held each other close, the fear of what had almost happened was palpable between them. Isabela and Merrill were curled up as well, Isabela was running soothing circles into Merrill’s back and occasionally sharing meaningful looks with Marian. Varric was on his phone the entire night, following up any leads he could. Fenris and Anders were the only ones not snuggled up or otherwise occupied, though they sat close to one another the entire night. They played a movie that nobody paid attention to and ordered take out. Usually such an affair would be jovial but right now all any of them felt was fear and apprehension.

Sometime after they had finished eating Varric finally put his phone down with a loud sigh and everyone sat up, looking at him expectantly.

“I’ve got some leads but nothing I can follow up right now, so until my people have done their research I’m afraid we will have no idea why Alrik and Cullen showed up.”

“Alrik? As in Otto Alrik?! Sweet Maker!” Anders choked, suddenly vocal for the first time all night.

“You know him?” Garrett inquired.

“Know him? The man’s a well-known sadist, anybody with any interest in mage rights knows the bastard has been turning a ridiculous number of mages Tranquil, whether they passed their harrowing or not.”

“Shit.” Garrett muttered, holding Bethany a little closer than before.

“And he was in my office! Oh, Andraste’s hairy crotch, I can’t-“

“It will be fine.” Fenris said with some surety before turning to Varric. “Does he have anything he can use against us?”

“Thankfully no. The tapes were clean, nothing for him to find on them. If he had anything solid before that then he would’ve made an arrest, the fact that he’s searching for evidence means that he’s got nothing on us. We just need to be careful.”

Fenris turned to Anders, giving him a confident nod. They was safe, for now.

“Well, I’m going to bed.” Marian announced, standing suddenly and looking at her two lovers expectantly. They stood too, and they said their goodnights before disappearing behind the door.

Garrett turned and looked at the rest of them.

“Two of you can share Carver’s room but one of you is going to have to bunk with me.”

“Do you mind taking Carver’s room with me, Fenris?” Anders asked hesitantly.

He was twitching nervously, stepping from foot to foot with his eyes downcast. It was quite adorable, Fenris had to admit. While they still hadn’t disclosed the full extent of their relationship to the others Anders was nervous tonight and he wanted company, specifically the elf’s. It was really very touching.

Fenris nodded stiffly, grateful that Hawke decided to spare him the indignity of teasing for the time being. The man was too busy complimenting Varric’s chest hair and pretending to swoon at the opportunity to sleep so close beside such a ruggedly handsome dwarf. Fenris would be sleeping beside someone handsome tonight as well, but there would be no swooning.

Once Hawke had told them where Carver’s room was and informed them that they could borrow Carver’s pyjamas if they wanted to they made their leave. They didn’t speak once in the bedroom, a tense silence between them. Fenris was thinking desperately, trying to decide how to start the conversation again when he heard Anders laughing.

He was holding one of Carver’s shirts out, placing it over his own chest and shaking his head. The shirt was massive compared to him. Carver was shorter than Anders but he was a heck of a lot more muscular. That wasn’t to say that Anders was weak, years of swimming had given him a decent enough amount of muscle, wiry as it was. He was skinny though, much thinner than he should be and that the shirt massive on him.

“What did Leandra feed her children growing up? I’m surprised they didn’t bankrupt her, between the four of them.” Anders jested.

The Hawke family were all pretty strong, the lot of them were built like tanks. Even Bethany, who was the most delicate of them had a decent amount of muscle on her, more than the average woman did.

“I can’t wear that. Do you mind if I go shirtless?” Anders asked, folding the oversized garment up and putting it back in the draw.

“I seem to recall you being shirtless in my bed before.” Fenris teased, remembering the night he had learnt Anders’ secret, a secret he would be sharing with everyone tomorrow.

“Yes, but you weren’t in the bed with me then.” Anders shot back before his face fell, all traces of amusement suddenly gone. “Unless you don’t want to share the bed with me. I mean- I had assumed… I can sleep on the floor.”

“The bed is big enough for both of us.” Fenris responded, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. “I will also take my shirt off, if that is okay with you.”

Anders nodded and the two undressed, taking off their shirts and putting on Carver’s pyjamas. The trousers were much too long for Fenris and much too short for Anders, but they would do for one night.

Anders sat on the bed as Fenris struggled with his trousers and folded the ends of them up so he wouldn’t trip if he had to get up in the night. He could practically hear the merman thinking as he did so, trying to say something, and he waited patiently for him to pluck up the courage to speak.

“Fenris, when I kissed you earlier…” Anders muttered, running a nervous hand through his hair.

“Yes?” Fenris responded, sounding a little more eager than he would like. He forced himself to look away from Anders and took a seat on the other side of the bed, his heart thundering in his ears.

“I- I just- How do you feel about me?” Anders asked with finality, unable to look in Fenris’ direction.

“You are-“ Fenris began before losing his nerve.

How did he feel about Anders? The answer was obvious. He cared for him a great deal, wanted to spend time with him, to be with him. He couldn’t just up and say that though, he hadn’t the courage. But Anders felt something too, didn’t he? It was the merman who had kissed him in the office earlier today afterall. He had to confess his attraction and he had to do it now, while he had the chance.

“You are a good friend Anders, one of the best I have known but… I would not want to limit our relationship to just friendship.”

“You’re interested in me then?” Anders asked, gobsmacked. Fenris nodded, not trusting his voice.

Suddenly Anders was in his space again, leaning across the bed and pulling him closer. Fenris responded in kind, wrapping his arms around Anders’ waist as the man leaned in for a kiss.

They stayed that was for a while, sitting on the bed and kissing tentatively. Neither of them wanted to take it further just yet but they craved the closeness all the same. When they finally pulled away for good some time later they were both pink and a little breathless, smiling goofily at one another.

Today had been awful, tomorrow held nothing but uncertainty but here, between the two of them it was safe. If just for a while they could hold each other and offer comfort, and they did just that. They laid back and Fenris wrapped his arms around Anders, petting his hair gently. Anders tucked his head into the nook of Fenris’ shoulder and let his fingers trace the lines of Fenris’ body, not the tattoos but the natural curves of his collarbone and chest. They fell asleep that way, holding one another and feeling safe for the first time in too long.


	26. A Fish Out Of Water.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders has something to tell his friends.

Anders was living both his ugliest nightmare and his prettiest daydream.

On the one hand Templars had shown up at his work place and today he was to reveal his true nature to a group of people who might very well hate him for it afterwards. He didn’t want them to dislike him or fear him but he couldn’t lie any longer. Yesterday had been proof of that. If he had just let them know in the first place Varric wouldn’t have left the Templars in his office while he got the tapes, he would have known it was dangerous. Besides it didn’t sit well with the merman, he wanted to share this part of his life with the people he cared most for in the world. It was a big part of who he was and yet none of his friends knew anything about it. It wasn’t right.

On the other hand he woke up wrapped around the loveliest elf in all of Thedas. He hadn’t woken up next to anyone in years, and never next to somebody he really cared about. He’d had a few flings once he had left the Circle but he hadn’t felt much for any of them, the only person he truly loved was Karl and they had never had the chance to be together like that. He felt his heart plummet thinking of his old love and he snuggled closer to Fenris, to the man he had with him right now. He couldn’t say that he loved the elf yet but he was close, he defiantly had the potential to love this man with all his heart. That was more than enough for now, more than he had ever had before in his life.

His sudden shift to get closer to Fenris had awoken the elf and Anders clung a little tighter, desperate to stay in bed with this wonderful man for just a little longer. Getting up meant facing his friends, which meant telling them all everything and he suddenly was not ready for that at all. He felt Fenris squeeze him back and plant a light kiss into his dishevelled hair.

“Good morning.” The elf rasped, his voice deliciously husky thanks to a good night’s sleep.

“Is it good?” Anders grumbled, feeling rather sorry for himself.

“I think so.” Fenris said thoughtfully.

Anders peered up at him, saw the little smile that had graced his lips and reconsidered his stance almost immediately.

“Maybe you’re right.” He conceded, then tried his luck and leaned up for a kiss. Fenris complied and they lay there, sharing lazy kisses until somebody knocked on the door and then suddenly they couldn’t get away from each other fast enough.

“Mom and Beth are making breakfast so get your arses downstairs.” Garrett boomed from the other side of the door, talking far too loudly for this time in the morning.

They exchanged a meaningful look before finally standing and getting themselves dressed. Once the both of them looked respectable they headed down, keeping a healthy distance from one another for the time being. Anders would be under enough scrutiny today, he didn’t need the added drama of being called out on how cuddly he and Fenris were.

Everybody was lazing about in the kitchen, eating pancakes that both Bethany and Leandra were serving up in record time. Anders smiled gratefully and thanked the Hawkes’ mother when she put a plate in front of him. It couldn’t be easy to feed this many people and yet she was up and dressed and serving everyone pancakes without so much as a complaint. She reminded Anders of his own mother in many ways, so much so that it hurt to look at her sometimes.

“I called Aveline and told her to meet us here instead of at Fenris’.” Marian called over the counter once both he and Fenris had a plate in front of them.

Anders nodded silently. It made more sense for them to meet here since pretty much everyone was here anyway but it made the reveal more immediate, more difficult to run from. He was good at running from things, he’d been running all his free life. Now that he wanted to actually confront a problem head on he was left flailing, unsure of what to do.

A reassuring hand on his thigh under the counter where nobody could see it made his heart leap out of his chest. Fenris smiled just for a second, but didn’t look at Anders. That was right, Fenris was here for him, if the worst happened he wouldn’t be abandoned. Anders smiled back and forced himself to eat as much as his nervous stomach could handle.

-

Aveline showed up not long after they had all finished eating and Leandra took her leave, heading into town to get groceries. Suddenly there was no more time, no more putting it off. His friends were all here and he had to tell them.

He could feel expectant eyes on him, nobody said anything but they were waiting for him to take the lead, to show them. With a sigh he turned to Garrett.

“Could I have a glass of water, please?”

Garrett complied instantly, retrieving a glass from the cabinet and filling it with tap water. Anders accepted it and handed it to Fenris before sitting down on the kitchen floor, his back to the wall. He didn’t want to fall the second he got his tail, not on the Hawkes’ hard kitchen tiles. Fenris would probably catch him come to think of it and as tempting as it was to fall into Fenris’ strong and capable arms this probably wasn’t the best time for such a display.

He wriggled and tried to get comfortable against the wall. He would’ve felt better if he could do this in the living room on the couch but Leandra Hawke was very house proud and she probably wouldn’t appreciate a soggy fish rolling all over her nice cushions.

He rolled his sleeve up and nodded at Fenris, who passed him the glass. He held it over his bare arm and took a deep breath before pouring the water over his skin and giving the cup back to the elf.

He had about ten seconds before anything would happen and he spent them fiercely ignoring the looks of awkward confusion his friends were giving him. He looked at Fenris instead, who was watching him with a sort of grim determination, nodding encouragingly at him. As long as Fenris was here nothing bad would happen. He was safe here, Fenris wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt him, not that anyone present would. This was a safe place. Everything would be fine.

He felt it, that strange tingling feeling of magic sweeping over his whole being, of being water for just a moment. Then he was sitting on the kitchen floor, a tail where his legs should be.

There was a moment of silence, of tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Surprise.” He whispered, trying and failing to keep his tone light.

Another moment of silence.

“Well, shit.” Varric muttered.

Anders finally looked up at everyone, at the shocked faces and… sweet Maker Isabela was grinning at him.

“I _knew_ it!” she yipped cheerfully, her face lit up with glee.

Everyone stared at her in shock.

“You knew about him?” Fenris asked, his expression tight.

“What? No, about mermaids. I knew they were real!” Isabela hooted, pulling Merrill into a tight hug and sweeping the smaller woman off of her feet.

“Anders, you have a tail.” Aveline muttered, almost to herself.

He did a double take at his own tail and brought a hand to his mouth, his eyebrows raised in mock surprise.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat? I never noticed _that_ before.” He snipped sarcastically.

“Be serious!” she snapped back, her face turning an alarming shade of red.

Before he could respond he felt a hand on his tail. He flinched away from the sudden touch and turned to see Garrett smiling sheepishly at him.

“You can feel that?” the mage asked, his eyes filled with childlike wonder.

“Well yes, Garrett, it’s a part of my body of course I can feel it.” Anders informed the man, letting his tail flop uselessly to prove that it was in fact a part of him. Everybody leapt back in shock when it moved, everyone except for Fenris.

“This is why the Templars are after you?” Marian asked, her eyes glued to his scales.

“Yes.” He said seriously.

He proceeded to explain the situation to them the way he did to Fenris, mentioning his time in the Circle and the lengths the Templars had gone to in the past to get their hands on him. Everybody looked suitably grim with the exception of Isabela who could not stop smiling at him but remained blissfully quiet for the time being.

“I understand why you didn’t say anything to us before, I can barely believe you now, but it was a stupid, dangerous secret to keep from us.” Marian scolded, arms folded in disapproval. “I owe you an apology, Fenris. You were right. Kind of.”

“The photos.” Isabela piped up, her wicked grin now directed towards Fenris. “You knew about him.”

“Yes.” Fenris admitted after a moment’s hesitation.

“How did it happen? I bet it was all _very_ romantic. Keeping a secret for him, being his sole confidant…” Isabela teased, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Get off it, whore.” Aveline snapped. Garrett elbowed the ginger for her use of the slur the way he always did.

Fenris took the time that Garrett took to scold Aveline to collect himself.

“I discovered his secret by accident and agreed to keep it for him, yes.”

“And you bonded over it, started spending time together…” Isabela purred suggestively.

“This doesn’t make any sense. You two have been at each other’s throats from day one. I distinctly remember Fenris punching Anders in the face.” Garrett cut in.

“Actually, that was Fenris covering for me.” Anders revealed.

“Seriously?”

They nodded in unison.

“This really is amazing. Can I have a look please, Anders?” Merrill inquired, kneeling by his side. Her hands hovered over his scales, waiting for permission to touch. He nodded and she began inspecting the tail clinically.

She oohed and ahhed, asking him questions both scientific and magical. He answered them promptly. He didn’t like being inspected, it reminded him too much of his time in the Circle but Merrill was kind and respectful. He could not condone her use of blood magic but as a person she wasn’t all that bad and he didn’t mind sharing this information with her.

The conversation was lost on the rest of them, Bethany and Garrett seemed to understand some of the magical theory but the scientific explanations were understood by the two marine biologists alone. Instead everybody murmured their own conversations, Fenris told the others what he could as Anders spoke to Merrill.

Eventually Isabela crouched the other side of him with a maniacal smile.

“I have so many questions. Are there others? What is it like swimming? I bet it’s amazing.” She babbled. Spending so much time with Merrill was starting to have an effect on her, it would seem. He had never known her to babble like this before the two of them got together.

He was so amused by her stream of questions it came as a shock when she finally asked about something a little more scandalous.

“Tell me, does Fenris have trouble finding certain… _assets_? Because I have no idea where you’re hiding the goods.” Isabela asked brazenly, eyeing his crotch with far too much interest.

“Well if his anatomy is anything like other water based mammals I would say his genitalia should be about here.” Merrill informed Isabela neutrally, gesturing over the part of his tail that was in fact concealing his privates.

He flushed beet red and slapped her hand away.

“Excuse you! I’m sitting right here.” He sniffed, shuffling closer to the wall.

“Sorry, sweet thing. Can’t blame me for being curious.” Isabela winked at him, but she did sound truly apologetic.

“That is enough.” Fenris demanded, nudging Isabela away from Anders and kneeling beside him in her place. Anders noticed that the elf was flushed almost as red as he was. It was kind of adorable.

No, he was getting distracted. He had to get back on track, to see how the others felt about him.

“So… what are you all going to do now?” Anders asked apprehensively.

They seemed to take it about as well as could be expected, but he didn’t know for sure. He needed reassurance that they would still stand by his side. If not then it was time to go. He hoped that they were all accepting because he really, _really_ did not want to leave Fenris now.

“What is there to do?” Varric asked casually.

“I mean… do you hate me?”

Everybody seemed shocked by this question.

“Why would we hate you?” Marian asked, her voice soft and kind.

He shrugged and refused to look them in the eye.

“Hey, nobody thinks of you any differently for this. You’re still Anders. Just now with 100% more tail.” Garrett added cheerfully, actually making Anders laugh.

“This complicates things sure, but when have things ever been simple when it comes to any of us?” Marian pointed out, gesturing at the rag tag group of misfits he called friends. Maybe he was odd, a fish out of water (in both the literal and figurative sense) but his friends were not normal either. He was not alone.

“We’ll have to talk this out later so I can make sure Alrik doesn’t get a whiff of this but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” Varric assured him.

He looked about the people grinning down at him and felt his heart swell with affection. He had been a fool to doubt them, Fenris had been right from the very beginning.

“Good. Now we’ve got all the boring stuff out of the way we can go and have fun. I want to see you in action!” Isabela chirped, a childlike gleam in her eye.

“No, absolutely not.” Aveline shot at the hopeful woman.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good idea. We’re trying to keep a low profile, remember? The Templars are still suspicious of us.” Marian pointed out.

“I have somewhere safe we can swim, actually. Who feels like a day at the beach?” Anders offered.

The stretch of beach in front of his house was private property, it was expensive but considering that he lived in a shed he could afford it. It was in the middle of nowhere too, impossible to stake out without it being painfully obvious that you were watching. His house and the beach he owned were perfectly safe.

Before he could get an answer he saw Fenris light up and suddenly he had legs again. Had he really been sitting there long enough to dry out? Sure he hadn’t gotten that wet but still.

Anders stood up and stretched before looking expectantly at the others. They seemed excitable, happy murmurs filled the air and he heard Garrett chattering excitedly about a picnic.

It seemed the day out at the beach was on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Chapter Title: Fenris was right all along and somebody should bake him a cake or something.


	27. Boyfriend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes swimming and Fenris has to deal with his feelings.

Fenris was relieved that the others responded so positively to Anders’ reveal. Everything had gone according to plan and now he was spending a fun day out at the beach with his friends and a man who might just be his boyfriend. It was more than he could have dreamt of when he was a slave and yet here he was, warm sun shining down on him as he watched his friends frolic in the surf. It was picturesque, perfect.

So why did he feel so irritable?

He knew why but he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it for fear of feeling petty and stupid. Isabela had been firing questions at them like bullets from a gun all the way to the beach. He was already feeling tetchy thanks to their inappropriate conversation about Anders’ genitalia and Fenris’ ability to locate it earlier. She had started out meaning well enough though, in fact she had been apologising to them.

“I’m sorry about going through your camera before. Honestly I didn’t expect to find anything so incriminating, maybe a couple of nudes.” She had teased cheerfully. She kept her tone was light but the weight behind the apology remained.

“Well, I mean technically there were some nudes on there. I’m not wearing anything when I transform.” Anders joked, a faint smile on his lips.

Isabela threw her head back and laughed in earnest.

“Seriously though, I didn’t mean to out your relationship like that. I’m sorry.”

Fenris was about to say something, but before he had a chance Anders cut in.

“We’re not in a relationship! I mean, uh- It’s not really-“ he babbled, flustered by the accusation.

For a moment Fenris was tempted to use his lyrium brands to rip out his own heart. It would have been a lot less painful that what Anders had said.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Isabela assured him, smiling knowingly. At least she seemed sure of something. Fenris felt like he didn’t know anything anymore.

He had thought after last night he and Anders were a thing, he wasn’t sure what label he would give them but they were something to one another. Anders made him doubt that even though he knew deep down that the merman was simply covering for them until they were sure of what that something was and they were ready to tell everybody else.

Somehow while he had been brooding over his relationship with Anders the topic of conversation had looped back to how wonderful it must be to swim underwater for so long and Anders proposed something that made Fenris’ gut clench painfully.

“I know a little trick that could help you with that, if you want to join me underwater.” He had offered with a small, knowing smile.

Isabela had squealed happily at that, had gotten so excited Fenris thought her head might explode. Her joy contrasted heavily with the feeling of disgust that Fenris felt. He knew exactly how Anders helped people breathe underwater, knew exactly what Anders would have to do. He’d been sulking ever since, sitting on the shore while the others splashed in the surf.

They were preparing to go swimming now. At the moment they were all up to their knees in water with the exception of Anders, who was lying on his stomach as the waves lapped up around him. He was smiling and laughing with his friends, oblivious to Fenris’ distress. The elf wrapped his arms tightly around himself and scowled at the sand between his toes.

“Fenris, c’mon, were about to go!” Anders called from the water, his voice light and carefree.

“Not interested.” Fenris growled back.

There was a long pause as Anders finally realised that something was wrong.

“I’m not leaving without you, Fenris.” He declared.

That led to a lot of begging and encouragement from his friends, enough to make him snarl and give in. He pointedly ignored Anders as he splashed past to join them, only to be called back.

“Can you help me into the water please, Fenris? I’m kind of beached here.” Anders requested.

With a sigh he turned back and lifted the merman effortlessly. He carried him bridal style into deeper water, grumbling to himself about needy mermen and their overly affectionate ways. Once they were in deep enough that Anders could swim the merman gestured for Fenris to follow him into deeper water and the elf complied begrudgingly. Out here they were far enough away from the others that their conversation could be private, which is what Anders had wanted he realised.

“What’s wrong?” Anders asked, concern etched into his face.

He looked away and refused to answer.

“C’mon, Fen. You’re upset, I want to know why.”

“I- No. I am being stupid.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Come on, tell me.” Anders prompted.

Fenris huffed to himself.

“You are offering your affections so freely and earlier what you said to Isabela- it makes me feel- Bah! I am playing the fool!”

Anders looked genuinely shocked by this admission.

“I- Oh. I didn’t mean what I said to Bela, I got flustered and I didn’t think you wanted anybody to know and- About the kissing… I forget, sometimes. That it’s a big deal. Merpeople do it all the time, or they did where I grew up but if it makes you uncomfortable I won’t do it, I can tell the others-”

“No, no.” Fenris insisted, shaking his head.

“Honestly, if it bothers you I won’t do it. How you feel is important to me, Fenris. I never want to hurt you, not if I can help it.”

Fenris was floored by the affection that Anders was showing him, of the understanding he didn’t feel he deserved. He felt all the tension he had been feeling leave his body in an instant.

“Thank you, Anders. But you should show them. Honestly, it is fine. I am fine.”

He could see Anders smiling and it made his heart flutter. The merman was leaning in for one of their tender kisses when he suddenly remembered the others were watching. Anders leaned back with an apologetic smile and disappeared under the water. Fenris followed him under knowing that all would be well.

-

They all spent the entire afternoon swimming together, enraptured by the beauty of the ocean from the perspective that Anders alone could show them. It was kind of awkward though because Anders had to spend the entire afternoon snogging the face off of all of his friends to provide them with this insight. Fenris knew the man was open with his affections in a way that the elf simply could not understand but even he seemed to be embarrassed by just how often he had to kiss somebody. The elf was able to take a secret sort of satisfaction over how Anders kissed him compared to how he kissed the others. Everybody else got a quick peck, Fenris basically got an underwater makeout session. He wasn’t one to gloat but he couldn’t help but smile furtively to himself when nobody was looking. If the others noticed the difference in Anders’ kisses they didn’t mention it, but Fenris _knew_.

By the time they had dragged themselves out of the water it was late and the others were all content to return to their homes. He saw Anders, Marian and Varric speaking in hushed tones as the merman dried off, their conversation serious, but eventually they made their leave too. In the end it was just Fenris and Anders left, sitting in Anders’ hovel as they cooked pasta for the billionth time.

There was a question that had been weighing heavily on Fenris, he couldn’t ask it while the others were there but now they were gone he needed to know.

“What are we?”

Anders turned to him, eyebrows raised quizzically.

“Well, you’re an elf, I’m a mer/human hybrid.” He deadpanned.

“That is not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

He pursed his lips and looked around, trying to think of a way to reword the question without embarrassing himself horribly.

“We are clearly more than friends, but I am unsure how exactly you view me. What am I to you?”

Anders swallowed visibly before turning to face him properly, pasta all but forgotten.

“Well, I’d be your boyfriend, if you would have me.” He whispered, flushing red from head to toe.

“Truly?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this.”

They locked eyes and Fenris made his way over to where Anders was standing, grabbing him by the hips and kissing him passionately. They moaned into each other’s mouths, things quickly becoming increasingly fervent as time went on. They were not given a chance to take things any further however as the smell of burning pasta hit them both at the same time and suddenly Anders was cursing, desperately trying to save what was left of their meal. Fenris just laughed at his flustered boyfriend, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest. They were to abnormal people with complicated pasts, their beliefs had at one time been so vastly different that they couldn’t stand the sight of each other but Fenris was sure that they belonged together. Despite all the obstacles he was glad to be here with Anders as his boyfriend. Whatever the future held for them he would walk into it gladly with the merman by his side.


	28. A Turn For The Worse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change very quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned, I've upped the rating and I'll be adding tags for anything I think might make people uncomfortable as they become necessary. Keep an eye on the tags before you read from now on if you think anything I write might upset you.
> 
> Thank you!

Everything had changed since their friends had found out about Anders and they had started dating. They were teased horribly of course and Fenris found it difficult to act affectionately in public but their relationship persevered regardless of the initial awkwardness. They disagreed sometimes, old arguments still found their way into their conversations and Anders knew that their differences would never truly be resolved but they didn’t need to be. Fenris was a kind and considerate boyfriend and they truly cared about one another. The mind-blowing sex was a pro as well, Anders wouldn’t lie. They had fallen into a state of bliss, slowly learning how to love one another in earnest.

He hadn’t told Fenris yet, but he knew for sure that he was madly, deeply in love with the elf. Their relationship was cautious, both of them had troubled pasts that made moving forward difficult but it was worth the effort. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for the elf, but the last thing he wanted was to scare him off. So he would hold off on the ‘I love yous’ for now. They had time to grow, to get to that place. And they would, Anders was sure of it.

Anders was currently reaping the rewards of having a generous, talented boyfriend. Fenris was exceptionally good at cards and that was great for the merman, it meant he lost a little less often. He’d actually just won a hand for the first time in what had to be years, causing those around him to whoop and cheer as if he’d just won the lottery, not a handful of coins.

He cheerfully counted his winnings, not missing the adoring smile that Fenris was giving him. Maker, what had he done to deserve such love? Surely he was unworthy of the elf beside him, but he wasn’t complaining. He was grateful for Fenris even if he didn’t feel particularly deserving of him.

Anders felt more relaxed than ever, surrounded by friends who knew and accepted him. Another pro of having people know what he truly was is he could afford to take a few more liberties, and that included alcohol. He’d missed drinking with his friends dearly, and though he rarely did thanks to the fact that he had to drive home most of the time tonight was one of the few times he could afford to. He was staying at Fenris’ house, which was just about close enough to walk to.

He wasn’t exactly drinking an excessive amount, this was only his second cider but he hadn’t drunk in a long while. As he drained the glass he noticed that the room was already starting to swim, everything tilting dangerously. Damn, had he become a lightweight?  He shook his head and turned to Fenris, planting a light kiss on his cheek before moving away from the table and getting up.

“I need to piss.” He announced bluntly, causing Fenris to chuckle.

He left the room slowly, having to concentrate far more than he usually did on walking. Even then he was pretty sure that he swayed and stumbled, not that he could tell. The whole room was swirling sickeningly.

He managed to make it to the bathroom doors, away from the hustle and bustle of the main room of the pub. He didn’t make it into the men’s toilets though, instead he leaned bodily on the doorframe just outside, panting heavily and desperately trying to stop his head from spinning. He was going to be sick at this rate.

This wasn’t right. He must have drunk too much too quickly, or maybe the alcohol was bad. Either way he felt like shit. He needed to go back upstairs, to get Fenris. There was no way he was walking back like this. They needed to get a cab, then he could go to Fenris’ and sleep it off. Sleep was sounding so good right now.

“Anders?”

He looked up to see the little blood mage staring at him, soft green eyes as wide as saucers. She must have come from the ladies’ room. He vaguely remembered her getting up to go to the toilet earlier, but Maker it was getting so hard to remember anything, to think about anything…

“Anders, what’s wrong?”

He felt her delicate hands on him, feeling his face and fussing over him.

“I don’t feel well.” He managed, his legs shaking unsteadily underneath him.

“Come on, let’s get you back upstairs. Hawke will know what to do.” She decided. Anders wasn’t sure which Hawke she was talking about. Did it matter?

Merrill let him wrap an arm around her and started guiding him towards the door that led back out into the main area of the Hanged Man. She was smaller than Fenris, though not by much, and nowhere near as muscular. She struggled to support his body weight and quite frankly he didn’t blame her. His limbs were feeling _so heavy_.

“Excuse me sir, can you help us? My friend isn’t feeling well.” He heard Merrill say. He was pretty sure he was currently wrapped around the small Dalish woman, so why did she sound far away?

He didn’t hear the stranger that had walked in respond but he was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was on the floor. He heard somebody cry out and… was somebody bleeding?

The last thing he was aware of before unconsciousness finally claimed him was the cold, cruel eyes of the figure standing over him triumphantly.

-

Anders never returned from the bathroom. Neither did Merrill. He’d been gone for far too long, the witch even longer and everybody was starting to get worried.

Isabela was the one who finally got up and went to look for them. Fenris was currently struggling to keep his eyes open. He hadn’t drunk much, a glass of wine or two at the most and yet he could feel his eyes getting heavier and heavier. The room swayed as if he’d drunk the bottle, not just a glass of the stuff. He frowned deeply to himself. Maybe he and Anders shouldn’t walk home tonight. A taxi would be much safer.

He was vaguely aware of Isabela returning some time later and throwing a scarf on the table. It was one of Merrill’s he realised. She always liked to wear delicate, brightly coloured scarfs, even though they were impractical in every way. For one thing it was far too warm here by the sea for such attire. Fenris simply didn’t understand why she insisted on wearing the things, but there were many things he didn’t understand about the blood witch. The scarves were perhaps the lesser of many evils.

“I found Merrill’s scarf outside of the bathroom. I checked the boy’s and the girl’s but there’s nobody there.” Isabela rasped, her usual carefree charm absent from her tone of voice.

“What do you mean? Are they downstairs?” Marian asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“There’s no sign of them. I even asked Corff, he didn’t see them leave.”

Fenris was aware that he should be more concerned, deep down he was terrified. Where had Anders gone? There was no way he’d up and leave, not with Merrill of all people. And yet… he couldn’t bring his body to move. He felt his head slip out of his hand and slam against the table and he groaned.

“Fenris?” Garrett nudged him gently.

He couldn’t respond, his tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth the words too far away. This wasn’t right, being drunk had never made him feel like this, it certainly hadn’t hit him so quickly with such intensity.

“How much did he have to drink?” he heard somebody ask. He wasn’t sure who and he didn’t have it in him to find out.

There was the hum of conversation and worried voices but it just went over Fenris’ head, as if he were lying under water and they were talking above him. He felt himself being moved, he was too tired to offer any resistance or assistance. He felt the black depths of unconsciousness coming for him and unwillingly slipped away, leaving his friends to the chaos around them.


	29. Burning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders wakes up.

Everything hurt. _Everything_. His head was pounding horribly, his chest was on fire and he felt like he was going to be sick. Anders tried to turn onto his side. If he really was going to vomit he didn’t want to do it with his head tilted back like this, he would choke. He found himself unable to move.

He opened his eyes and hissed. It was bright, too bright. Harsh florescent lights were hanging high above him. Was he in a hospital? He didn’t remember going to a hospital, he wouldn’t have agreed to that. The likelihood of being discovered in such a vulnerable environment was too high. He could feel his legs, which was a good thing, it meant if he was in a hospital his secret was still safe.

He looked down at himself, towards the terribly painful sensation he could feel in his chest. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, or anything else for that matter. He was strapped down onto a table, bare and exposed for all to see and his chest…

Sweet Maker, the lines, the scars from where they had cut him, poked and prodded at him for years were no longer the faint, white reminders they had faded to but were red and angry, fresh wounds. Somebody had cut him open while he was asleep, had gutted him like a fish only to stitch him back up. There was only one reason somebody would do that, to have a look inside of him, to try and see what made his anatomy different from those on the land. It meant, Andraste’s flaming knickers it meant…

He started thrashing, looking around wildly. There, he had missed them before, the light had blinded him. A Circle mage wearing the mandatory robes, organising equipment, _needles_ he realised with horror. As he began to make a fuss he heard a voice from behind him, all too familiar and cutting.

“Ah, it’s awake, good.” Alrik drawled casually, a cruel hint of excitement betraying how he was really feeling. “Dose it.”

He began to panic in earnest now, desperately tugging at his bonds, trying to find any weakness in them he could exploit, any way out of this situation. He was back in the Circle, they were testing him, hurting him…

He could feel hands on his face, tilting his head back and opening his throat up. He fought the hold fiercely, thrashing his head as much as he physically could. He didn’t care if it made him sick now, that might be a good thing. It would stop them from forcing whatever it was they wanted to down his throat.

He didn’t see what it was, but he felt them pouring a strange, bitter liquid into his mouth. Hands covered his nose and forced his mouth shut, making him gag. He held on for as long as he could. Choking to death was preferable to whatever it was they had in store for him, maybe they could trick them into killing him like this. In the end reflex betrayed him and the liquid slipped down his throat involuntarily. Immediately the hands were gone and he began choking violently, spluttering as tears ran down his face. The liquid, whatever it was, tasted like leaves, as if he’d just eaten a mouthful of dirt.

They were merciful enough to give him a moment to catch his breath. He heaved desperately on the cold metal table, lungs burning with the fierce need to suck up as much air as possible. Once it was apparent he was not about pass out there were hands on him again, warm and intrusive and everywhere. He looked up into the soulless eyes of the Tranquil (the Templars always got them to do the dirty work. They were quiet, obedient and expendable, no danger of them telling anyone anything about him) and was about to start pleading when he felt someone he could not see pouring water over him.

There were no words for how painful his transformation was.

It had never hurt before, ever. It tingled sure, but that was natural. _This_ , this was not natural. The moment the magic hit him he turned to water the way he always did but it felt likehe was on fire. Every inch of him was burning, screaming in protest. Then he was lying there with his tail and still the pain did not stop. It was nowhere near as intense but it was still enough to make him scream and scream and scream.

He screamed himself hoarse, screamed for his friends, screamed in his native tongue, and begged the Maker and all of the underwater gods that had ignored his pleas his entire life to make it stop. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity he tired himself out and blissful unconsciousness claimed him.


	30. A Cottage By The Sea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders comes to terms with what has happened.

His world was pain. They hadn’t let him up off of the table once, at least when they had him in a tank he could swim in circles and stretch his tail. Instead he was left to suffer on this cot as they experimented with different doses of magebane. It had taken him a while to figure out what it was they were giving him, in the end he had overheard one of the Tranquil mention something about it.

For mages magebane simply drained mana, it was unpleasant from what Surana had told him but not deadly. For a pure magical being such as a merperson magebane was toxic, a painful death for any mer unfortunate enough to consume it. They had never given him any before, afraid that it would kill him, but now that they knew he was partially human they were testing it out, trying to see how different doses would affect him. He didn’t know why, it hadn’t occurred to him to ask and he doubted they would give him an answer if he did. Maybe they wanted to weaponise it, use the information to capture other innocent merfolk. He certainly hoped that was not their intention but he had a sneaking suspicion that it might be.

Alrik was there whenever he was dosed and the Tranquil were always attending to him no matter the hour. In his more lucid moments he could see the marks of abuse on the Tranquil, bruises and cuts nobody had bothered seeing to. It didn’t exactly help to boost his morale. Sometimes a Circle mage would show up, usually the person he had seen when he had first woken up here. There was an imposing blonde woman as well, stern faced and strict. She wasn’t cruel like Alrik, not outright. She was his superior, from what he could tell, and she let the Templar do as he wished as long as there was no lasting damage, not unless it was sanctioned. She didn’t hurt Anders the way Alrik did but he hated her all the same. He hated them all, but not the Tranquil. They were just as helpless as he was.

When he had a moment of reprieve, rare as they were, he would think of Fenris. He would never see the elf again, not now. His first escape had been a fluke, now that they knew he could walk out of here they would up the security accordingly. He would never see his friends again, or his love…

Fenris was gone forever, and he had been too much of a coward to say those three little words. ‘I love you’. He thought they had time. How stupid could he be? Now he would never see Fenris again and he would never know how much Anders loved him, no, he had wasted those last few precious moments with the elf. Instead of professing his love, instead of kissing him goodbye or giving himself any kind of closure he had said ‘I need to piss’. He had Fenris _right there_ and he had said something stupid instead of telling him how he felt.

It didn’t really matter anymore. There was nothing more he could do, it was just one more failure to add to a long list. He hoped Fenris would find somebody nice once he got over their relationship. Fenris would be upset for a long time Anders was sure, but for him life could go on, there was hope. Anders had imagined once the two of them living in a nice little cottage by the sea. They would have three cats and maybe two kids, all green eyed and grumpy faced like their father. Now he imagined somebody else, a different person standing there with Fenris, watching their children play in the surf. The image hadn’t changed much, maybe they would have less cats, but everything else was the same. Fenris could still be happy without him.

One of the Tranquil finally came into his view, bringing with them a green vial. Just the sight of that stuff made his stomach roll. He didn’t put up any kind of a fight when they poured it down his throat though, there was no point. He might as well make this as easy for himself as possible. The sooner they got the results they wanted for this test the sooner they would move on. He hoped whatever experiments they had in store for him next were less painful but he doubted it. The Circle mages hadn’t lied when they had said that Alrik was a sadist. Anders could tell he was enjoying this. At least while he was here torturing Anders he couldn’t be doing anything unspeakably evil to the mages in this Circle.

As they poured water over him once again he thought of Fenris sitting hand in hand with somebody who wasn’t him, sitting on a beach and watching the sunset, moving on with his life. Anders’ heart broke into a million little pieces, then the fire was back and he could think of nothing else.


	31. The Plan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris has to work through some issues.

When Fenris woke up only to be told that Anders was gone he had been livid. He had raged for hours, determined to go and rescue Anders that very second. Marian had talked him out of it and she had been right to do so, as always. For all the power the lyrium embedded into his skin gave him it simply wasn’t enough to raid a Circle on his own, not without a plan of action.

After the initial anger subsided there was guilt. Nobody blamed him, they had told him over and over, reassured him constantly and told him he was not to blame himself. Even Isabela and Marian, who had lost their lover to Fenris’ incompetence, didn’t fault him. They had taken Merrill too, the little blood mage had tried to defend Anders when they had swept him away and she had paid the price for it. Fenris was not fond of the witch, quite the opposite actually, but even she had made a valiant effort to help Anders. She had certainly done more than Fenris had. All Fenris had done was get Anders caught.

It _had_ been his fault, no matter what the others said. If he had been more attentive, if he had just paid attention… He had entered the Hanged Man hand in hand with Anders, who had brought the first round of drinks. Later, when the both of them were ready for another round he had gone to get them. If he hadn’t been distracted by something Corff had said to him, something inconsequential and unmemorable at that, if had have just kept his eye on those drinks the Templars wouldn’t have had a chance to slip something nasty into them. As it was both he and Anders had ended up drugged and defenceless and the Templars took the opportunity to take Anders, and Merrill when she got in their way.

They were fortunate that Carver had always been fond of Merrill, it meant he was willing to keep her safe when they had taken her to the Circle. Fortunately she hadn’t resorted to using her blood when she tried to defend Anders so the Templars were simply treating her as any other mage and Carver was able to ensure that nothing too horrible befell her. He was helping Marian and Garrett too, giving them any information Varric couldn’t get himself. How they had convinced their petulant little brother to help them with this was beyond Fenris, but he was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Everybody was working hard on a plan to rescue both Merrill and Anders. While the merman’s presence at the Circle was being kept a secret there was enough evidence for Varric to be sure that he was in fact being kept in the same Circle as Merrill; the Kirkwall branch. Everybody was pulling their weight, though Varric was the one who did most of the leg work, however Fenris was left flailing. His contribution to this escape plan would come later, when the actual rescuing was being done. At the moment, in the planning stages, he was quite useless.

He did what he could. For one thing he made sure that Anders’ damned cat was fed. He would go everyday to the hut on the beach and put food out for the blighted thing. It yowled at him whenever he was unfortunate enough to cross paths with it, it moaned and cried and squawked at him. He thought cats were supposed to be better than dogs, less needy, more independent and yet this ginger monstrosity was crying pathetically for the owner who had never come home. Fenris hated it, wanted to wring its neck with his bare hands. It was a reminder of his failure, of his inability to keep his word to Anders. Even though he hated the creature for what it reminded him of he still fed it, because no matter how annoying the beast was at the end of the day they were the same, both crying over the blond merman who had been so unfairly taken from them. Besides, Anders would never forgive him if anything happened to the stupid cat.

He packed Anders things up for him too. There was no way they could stay in Kirkwall once they saved Anders and Merrill, they would have to move and Anders wouldn’t have a chance to pack his things for himself. Luckily the merman didn’t own much and it was easy to identify what seemed important, the things that weren’t easily replaced. In the end the only things he took were Anders’ laptop, some of his clothes, the camera Fenris had brought him and the box from under his bed.

He meant to leave the box alone, unsure of how private the contents were, but in the end his loneliness got the better of him. That’s where Anders kept his photo albums and Fenris needed to see his face, wanted to imagine happier times with the merman. That’s when he found the album, the one Anders had kept from him. The others he had seen, but there was one that was a mystery. When Fenris flicked through it his heart had broken all over again. The selfie they had taken, the one that Isabela had found, was taped to the front. The rest of the album was full to the brim of pictures of just the two of them. He had cried, wept for hours and hours sitting on Anders’ awful bed as he flicked through photos.

He had not told anybody about his break down or of the album, but he had taken to carrying the photos around with him at all times, a constant reminder of what he was fighting for. He had it with him even now, as he sat around the table at the Hawke household. Everybody was comparing notes, talking about leads, even Bethany had brought something to the table. All Fenris had was a photo album he was unwilling to share with the others. Sentimentality would not help Anders but it was all he had to offer.

“Fennnrrriiiiiiiiiisssssssss?”

The elf jumped at the sound of his own name, turning sharply to see who had called for him. Garrett smirked at him from the other end of the table and gave him a little wave.

“Are you even paying attention to what any of us are saying?”

“Lay off it, you big lump.” Marian scolded, elbowing her brother in the ribs.

“I apologise. You were saying?” Fenris asked graciously.

“We were asking you if you’re sure about this. If we go ahead with the plan as it is there’s no way the Chantry is ever going to let you live in peace. You’ll be a fugitive again.” Marian explained, her face a mask of seriousness.

“Anders will be hunted anyway. Does it truly matter if both of us are hunted instead of only one of us?”

“But if this plan goes wrong…” Garrett added grimly.

“If there is to be a future for me it will be with Anders at my side. If the plan does not succeed then I will have failed him, whatever happens to me then I welcome it.”

“Don’t say that!” Aveline reprimanded.

He remained quiet after that, but did not retract his statement.

“Izzy and I will be part of the rescue team as well.” Marian announced.

“You realise you will be wanted women after you do this, yes?” Fenris couldn’t help but inquire. He knew what it meant to be hunted, Isabela did too but Marian knew nothing of having to run from the law.

“Merrill’s worth it.” She said with a casual shrug. And that was that. Marian didn’t say something unless she meant it, unless she had really considered all of her options. If she said that Merrill was worth a life on the run then she truly thought so.

“So you hand Fenris and me over, we let you guys in and we all go and save our friends?” Garrett asked, folding his arms over his chest. “Sounds simple enough.”

“Uh, the actual plan is a little more complicated than that, dear brother.” Bethany chimed in, shaking her head with a smile.

“Yes, but that’s the gist of it, is it not?” he shot back playfully.

“Just about.” Marian assured him wryly, patting his knee.

This plan was dangerous, he would be giving up his freedom, handing himself into the Templars just for a chance to get close to Anders. It was their best bet though and he had no time to come up with anything else, he had already left Anders in Templar hands for far too long. He could handle anything the Chantry and their Circles could throw at him, for Anders’ sake he would put himself through this.


	32. Fever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The effects of magebane start to mess with Anders' head.

Anders had been here for so long. He wondered how many days, weeks or months it had been. The days seemed to blur together in a mishmash of conscious thought and all-consuming agony. Passing out whenever things became too painful meant he no longer had any concept of time, there was just pain and darkness now, that’s what his life had been brought to.

They hadn’t upped his dose in a while but now they were making sure the effects were consistent, ensuring he remained drugged up on magebane for hours and hours. How long had it been now? It hurt so much, set his skin on fire, made it difficult to breathe.

Cool, calming hands wiped the sweat drenched hair out of his face and when he looked up he nearly sobbed in relief. Fenris. He’d know that beautiful, grumpy face anywhere. Fenris was here, soothing him, running gentle fingers though his hair.

No, he was mistaken. It wasn’t Fenris, it was somebody else. Small and elven, silver hair and olive skin. A lot like Fenris, but not quite. Her face was kinder, her eyebrows thicker. Surana? What was she doing here?

“Poor Anders, what have they done to you?”

He tried to answer her but his throat was dry and raw from screaming, all that came out was a painful croak.

“I thought you were dead.” She whispered sadly. “Don’t worry. At the rate you’re going you will be soon.”

“It is a good thing. If I had found you alive I would have had to kill you myself. You broke my love’s heart.” A thick Orlesian accent crooned at him. He turned his head slightly to see a human woman with short, red hair standing over him, looking down through her nose in disapproval. Leliana.

He closed his eyes, screwing them shut as tightly as he could. This was a dream, a bad dream, there was no way Surana or Leliana were here with him, wishing for his death. He didn’t feel as though he was asleep though. It was the fever, it was messing with his mind, making him see things that weren't there.

He looked up and felt what little breath he had catch in his throat. His mother was standing above him ( _no, impossible, she can’t be standing she doesn’t have legs she can’t be here_ ) and she was staring down at him with a look of revulsion.

“Look at what became of you. Disgusting.”

He tried to argue with her but he could barely breathe.

“Just like your father. A good for nothing land dweller.” She hissed.

No, no, his mother wasn’t like this, this wasn’t right, _wrong wrong wrong_!

He started to panic. They had driven him insane! They had hurt him so much, put so much of the blighted drug into his bloodstream that the Templars had actually made him mad. What if it wasn't just his fever addled brain, what if they had actually broken him this time? He felt himself getting hysterical, heaving and panting as he tried to calm himself, to focus.

He could hear Merrill screaming and screaming, could see blood dripping down her face as she cried and pleaded with him. Where was Merrill? She had been with him when he had been caught, had they hurt her? Were they hurting her right now?

Then Merrill was gone and Karl was standing above him in her place, those green passionate eyes now devoid of life thanks to the sign of Tranquillity branded into his flesh. No, wait, Karl didn’t have green eyes, his were blue. He was looking at Fenris, he realised, it wasn’t Karl it was Fenris looking through him, watching him with disinterested detachment.

His voice was raw from screaming but he didn’t care. He started shouting, flopping his tail and kicking up as much of a fuss as he was physically capable of. Please, please, please make it stop. Maybe if he acted out they would dose him again enough to knock him out or maybe they would give him something else, something that would end this nightmare. He didn’t care what they did as long as they did something to stop this STOP THIS STOPTHISSTOPTHISS **TOPTHISSTOPTHIS** -

He felt a needle in his arm, heard a cruel, hearty laugh then finally the darkness claimed him.


	33. Mission Improbable.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang put their plan in motion and Alirk comes up with a creative way to break Fenris.

Fenris was in no way ready for this.

He would go through with it anyway, for Anders, but there was nothing that could prepare him for what he was about to do. He was willingly giving up his freedom and letting himself become a thing again, valuable for the lyrium in his skin and nothing else.

He could see Garrett fidgeting beside him, looking equally as uncomfortable. The man had been an apostate all of his life and now he was about to waltz right into the Circle and declare himself a mage in front of every Templar there. Maybe Garrett didn’t feel romantically for Merrill and Anders the way Isabela, Marian and he did but it was obvious that Garrett loved them all in his own way, they were family to him. Besides, Fenris doubted there was anything he wouldn’t do for his sister, even handing himself into the Templars. Fenris looked between Garrett and Marian and felt affection flourish deep within him. He would be forever grateful for the Hawke twins and their seemingly infinite kindness.

Garrett went first. They couldn’t all go together, it would rouse suspicion, so he was left in the car with Varric while Marian handed in her own brother. Fenris really hoped this worked out for everybody, if things went south and Garrett was left alone in the Circle… Fenris simply couldn’t imagine Garrett without Marian or Marian without Garrett. They were a pair, a matched set. They were never meant to be apart.

They waited for about two hours before Varric led him into the Circle, a pair of suppressive cuffs keeping his hands chained in front of him and his lyrium markings useless. He did his best to look submissive and cowed, which was both easy and difficult. He could play the part well, it had been his life not that long ago, but doing so reminded him of what he had once been. He hated every minute of it, but he would do it for Anders.

The Circle was not as he imagined it. For one thing the main doors led to a large office area, a few secretaries sitting behind a desk in the centre of the room. It was all very official, pleasant and professional. He knew it was a façade, Anders’ tales of the Circle proved it. While on the outside it looked harmless those who knew better knew these walls contained nothing but horror.

Some Templars appeared from the back room and coin exchanged hands. Varric gave him one last secret smile and then he was gone. Fenris was alone, at the mercy of the Templars, just as Anders had been for a week now.

They led him into the back room and then upstairs. It was a tall building and they climbed more flights of stairs than Fenris could be bothered to count, and they kept on going until they were on one of the very top floors. He could hear nothing coming from the other side of the door to that floor, when they passed the other doors on previous levels he had at least been able to hear the hushed whispers of the mages and Templars who occupied that space. He had been taken to an unoccupied level then, certainly not one for common mages. He suppressed a smile. Carver Hawke had been right. He was being led right to Anders, just as the young Templar had suspected.

As they pushed the doors open and led him through the corridor Fenris couldn't help but note just how eerie the level was. Nothing looked particularly out of place but the floor was so empty. They had a city’s worth of mages here, maybe more and yet there was an entire floor they didn’t use. It was very unsettling. He was led into one of the rooms at the end of the long, empty corridor. He managed to hide his disappointment when the door swung open and he did not see the merman. They wouldn’t keep the both of them in the same room after all, it had been silly to hope as much.

So far everything had gone according to plan. They knew that they would be keeping Anders away from the rest of the mages here, and Carver had informed them of the mysterious floor that none of the new recruits were allowed to approach. Fenris was unusual but not a mage, just as Anders was. It made sense that the Templars would want to keep them in one place.

He was left alone for just a moment and he used the time to ensure that the lockpick that Isabela had provided him with was still safely tucked up his sleeve. She had taught him how to pick a lock over the past week for this specific purpose. The Templars were expecting a completely defenceless elf, he would surprise them by slipping out of these cuffs, tearing out their hearts and rescuing his boyfriend. He couldn’t free himself yet though, if he tried to rescue Anders too soon then the others wouldn’t have time to find Merrill and secure the way out of the building. For the time being he was defenceless and completely at the Templar's mercy.

He looked up when the door opened and scowled. Alrik. He should have teared his heart out the moment he first met the man. He knew the Templar would be nothing but trouble, he had the same cruel demeanour that Danarius had, and yet in his foolishness he had let the monster walk out of Anders’ office with his heart still in his chest. He would not make the same mistake twice.

“I was not expecting to see you again so soon.” Alrik smirked. Fenris wanted to smack that smile right off of his disgusting face.

Fenris allowed himself the privilege of glaring at the Templar standing in front of him. What he got in return was a sharp smack across the face. It was a shock, he thought that the Templars would at least be covert in their abuses, but then again he was being kept on the floor where they kept their unusual prisoners. The rules that applied to the rest of the Circle did not apply here.

“I thought I would have to fetch you myself.” Alrik continued, grabbing Fenris by the hair and pulling his head up, forcing the elf to make eye contact with him. “How did a thing like you end up with lyrium in your skin?”

Fenris spat in his face.

It was a dumb thing to do. It wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to submit, to give the Templars whatever they wanted until the time was right, but he couldn’t do it. He would not be their plaything, he would not go down without a fight. This defiance he was feeling was all Anders’ influence, he was sure. He thought of the fiery passion in his boyfriend’s amber eyes, that triumphant little smile that tugged at the corner of his lips whenever he rebelled against something, even if it was only something small. It filled Fenris with determination, made him sure he could survive this with his dignity intact.

This time when Alrik’s open palm connected with the side of his face it wasn’t a shock. Fenris had received worse, he would always have received worse. There was nothing Alrik could do to him, no pain he could inflict upon him that would break him. One look into the Templar’s eyes told Fenris that Alrik knew just that. There was a flash of outrage on the man’s face, a satisfying moment of victory that was short lived. A slow, cruel smile spread across the bearded man’s features and Fenris felt something cold coil in the pit of his stomach. Alrik took a step away from Fenris and made a show of looking at his watch. The elf tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible, but a feeling of unease was quickly descending upon him.

“I saw you with it, that day in the Hanged Man. It’s been asking for you. Well, asking isn’t the word. It’s more like _screaming_.” Alrik drawled, then paused. “You don’t need me to tell you this, I’ll let you hear for yourself.”

Fenris felt a growl escape him as Alrik made his way to the door.

Then the screaming started.

It had to come from the room right next to Fenris’ cell, and it was unmistakably Anders. Even though his voice was heavy with distress there was no way Fenris could mistake that voice. He had heard Anders laugh before, he had heard him cry, he had heard him whoop and cheer and yell but never before had he heard him scream like that. It was a horrible metallic sound, barely even human, a sharp screech that made Fenris was to curl up in the corner and die.

He saw Alrik give him one last satisfied smirk as horror clutched at his heart and then the Templar was gone, the door to his cell was locked and Fenris was left alone with the desperate sounds of Anders screaming for mercy.


	34. The Crow and The Mouse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris finds help in the strangest of places.

Anders wasn’t screaming anymore. He had cried and begged and screeched for a full hour before he had eventually stopped, his voice weak from his screaming fit and whatever torture they were putting him through. Fenris had no doubt that the merman was still in an incredible amount of pain, and had only stopped due to exhaustion. It was maddening, having to sit here and listen to the man he loved crying out and doing nothing about it. He nearly broke a few times, nearly gave in and saved Anders by himself. He managed to refrain, just barely. Only his love for his friends and the knowledge that acting on his own would hurt them stopped him from picking the locks on his handcuffs and going on a one elf Templar-killing spree.

He sat curled against the wall closest to Anders. Soon it wouldn’t stand between them, the moment he got the signal he could swoop in and save Anders. He would take him far away from here, somewhere the Templars couldn’t get him. They would have to stay away from Tevinter and they could no longer live in the Free Marches. Antiva was warm, had a good coast line. They could try to find a home there maybe, they could leave the horrors here behind. It would be just the two of them, three if you counted the cat. He would miss their friends but it was a worthy sacrifice if it meant keeping Anders safe.

This was assuming that Anders still wanted him after all of this. There was a churning in his gut, a shrill little voice in the back of his head that nagged at him, told him that Anders would want nothing to do with him. He had let the merman down, had let his worst fears come true. Fenris wouldn’t blame his boyfriend if he no longer loved him after this. Even so it didn’t matter, it didn’t change his mind. Anders could denounce Fenris here and now and the elf would still drag him from this tower, would still do anything to take him away from all of this.

This waiting was killing him. He swore in Tevene, slammed his fist against the wall and fumed to himself. What was taking the others so long? Surely locating Merrill and finding a way out shouldn’t take this much time. He was being impatient, he knew it, but sitting here being useless would be the death of him.

He was curled up and brooding when suddenly his lyrium lit up like a satinalia tree, much to the elf’s surprise. He couldn’t do it voluntarily with these handcuffs suppressing his abilities, but as always he reacted to the world around him, to magic. He looked around, trying to locate where the pull coming from. Surprisingly it wasn’t from the other side of the wall where he knew Anders was, it came from… the window?

He forced himself onto his feet and wandered over to the window, curious as to what exactly was causing his lyrium to react. He had checked it out earlier. It was locked of course, with bars across it to prevent access. The entire precaution was entirely unnecessary, the only thing on the other side of that window was a drop, very high and very deadly. The only thing he could possibly have to escape by using that window was this mortal coil and Fenris didn’t have a death wish. He had deemed the window useless to him early on, he would have to get to a much lower floor before he would even consider jumping out of a window, and even then it was a last resort.

Now on the other side of the glass was a crow. It was perched on the ledge just outside, a ledge too small for anything else to make use of. He leant against the frame and studied the creature, watching it with interest. It was watching him back, judging him. Those eyes, fathomless and black as the pit were far too intelligent, too calculating. This was no ordinary bird, and whatever it was it had definitely caused his markings to react.

The bird started pecking at the window. Fenris watched it, his eyebrows raised. Did it… want to be let in? He studied the window again and shook his head. He could probably pick the lock, he had the pick in his hand ready to use, but he doubted the bird could get past the bars. It would be a struggle to get the crow in, and that was assuming he wanted to let this strange, magical bird into the room he was trapped in. There was the danger that this animal was some kind of demon, that its form was a trick and the moment he let it in he would be killed or possessed. Even if it did turn out to be benevolent if the Templars saw that he let it in he would almost certainly not go unpunished, and they would find out that he had the lock pick.

The crow continued to insistently peck at the window, bristling angrily from the other side of the glass. He shook his head and stepped away. This was a bad idea, opening that window would be nothing but trouble, as all magic usually was. He would leave the bird be and stick to the plan. He would wait for the right time and then he would rescue Anders, no more, no less.

The crow cawed crossly at him from the other side of the window and then suddenly his lyrium flashed and the crow was gone. Fenris blinked in surprise, rushed back over to the window and pressed his face against the bars, searching for the creature. It truly had disappeared into thin air, there was no trace of the creature except… there was a mouse. Very small, perhaps one of the smallest he had ever seen. It was struggling, forcing its way through by shimming under the small gap at the very bottom. Fenris watched as it wiggled its way into the building in amazement. There was no way a mouse could have gotten onto that window ledge, and he hadn’t noticed it before. His instincts told him this was the same creature as the crow, as impossible as it seemed.

He moved back once the mouse had successfully made its way into the building with a squeak. He watched it as it climbed down from the window and his lyrium flared again. He tensed up, waiting. For what he wasn’t sure, but he knew something was happening.

One second he was looking at a tiny white mouse, the next he was facing an elven woman. She was very small, even by elven standards and her short, braided hair was a fascinating silver colour, not as white as Fenris’ shock of hair but a similar colour and cut all the same. Her eyes were the same pitch black, intelligent ones that he had seen in the crow, though her face was softer and kinder like this. Her thick eyebrows were tilting down and she pouted at him, arms crossed. She looked… disappointed. It was not an expression that Fenris was comfortable with.

Once the initial shock of the mouse becoming a woman had passed a new wave of confusion ran through him. He knew this woman, only through photographs and anecdotes but he knew who she was. This was Surana, the mage friend Anders had told him about. She was here. She had broken into the Circle, had transformed herself using magic that Fenris believed to be impossible and now she was frowning at his like a disappointed mother.

“Surana?”

That caught her attention. Suddenly the tightness in her face was gone and she was looking at him in surprise.

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t think I remember you.” Surana confessed after a moment.

“You wouldn’t have a reason to, we have never met.” Fenris reassured her with a calmness he did not feel.

The little mage tilted her head at that, completely confused by now. Fenris hesitated for a moment. Surana was not supposed to know that Anders was alive but if she was here surely she knew something and besides, he needed all the help he could get to get Anders out of here. His boyfriend may have upset the woman but Fenris knew from what he had heard about her that she was a kind person, she would help. With a sigh he gestured to himself.

“My name is Fenris. I am Anders’ boyfriend. He has told me a lot about you.”

Surana looked completely taken aback and Fenris shifted under her gaze as she gaped at him.

“Then you’re here to save him too?” She asked.

Now it was Fenris’ turn to be shocked.

“You are here for him?”

“Of course.”

“But how did you-“

“Justice.”

Fenris blinked. He knew that Anders would call Justice from time to time. He did not approve of him keeping in contact with a demon no matter how benevolent, but Anders treated Justice like family and there was nothing Fenris could do or say to stop him. He had been told that Justice had also faked his death though, that both he and Anders had pretended to die in that fire. Had the demon lied to Anders and contacted Surana? It wouldn’t surprise him. Demons were always deceptive.

“I had thought both Justice and Anders were dead.” Surana gritted out. She looked very annoyed and Fenris knew that once Anders was out of here he would be in for the lecture of a lifetime. “Justice called me out of the blue, told me he _wasn’t_ actually dead and that he hadn’t heard from Anders, couldn’t get a hold of him. When I checked the address he gave me there was nobody there, so I asked my wife to see if she could find any rumours from the Circle. I came here to scout it out, see if anything we heard was true. I think he’s in the room next to this one, if he’s here at all. Since you're here I'm assuming it is him.”

Fenris processed the information. Anders had trusted Surana with his life before and it wasn’t like he could afford to refuse any assistance. Now she was here he might as well let her help him, let her in on the plan. He would be trusting a strange and powerful mage and that did not sit right with him, but Anders had trusted her with his life on more than one occasion. Fenris would trust her with this, for now.

“How did you- you were a crow. And a mouse.” He mumbled. He didn’t think such magic existed and yet he had just witnessed her transform before his very eyes.

“Well, yes. It’s a long story and transforming can be exhausting. Thanks, by the way, for helping me in. Real gentlemanly of you.” She snipped at him accusingly.

“Forgive me if I do not randomly trust every magical animal that waltzes up to my windowsill.” He shot back, glaring in defiance.

She held his gaze for a moment before sighing and shaking her head.

“This isn’t helping. We need to get you out of those cuffs and find a way out of this room. I saw you have a lockpick?”

“Yes I do, but we must wait. There is another, a Dalish mage that my friends are also freeing. I have to wait for their signal, then we can get Anders.” He informed her.

She looked thoughtful for a moment before she sighed and made herself comfortable. She sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall.

“Guess we have some time to kill then.” She said, resigned.

He sat on the other side of the room and put his head in his hands.

Then they waited.


	35. Reunion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Anders are reunited.

They passed the time in silence mostly. Occasionally Surana would ask him a question about the plan or Anders, he would answer politely but said little else. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for small talk. He would sit with this woman and chat the day away with her if she wanted once he knew that Anders was safe and free, until then he remained silent and sour. He managed to mostly unlock his cuffs, one flick of his wrist would be all he needed to be free of these shackles but he kept them on, for now. He needed to take the Templars by surprise, and that meant feigning helplessness.

Nobody had come to check on him since Alrik, which was a surprise. They hadn’t left him any food or anything he could use as a toilet. Fortunately he hadn’t needed to go just yet, but thirst and hunger were starting to get to him. As a slave he had gone for much longer without food or water but that had been a long time ago, and his body had gotten used to consistent meals. They were trying to starve him out, to make him desperate and compliant. He was glad he would not be spending any time here on a more permanent basis.

They heard the lock of the door click all of a sudden and Surana looked up at him, surprised. There was a bright flash of lyrium and then there was a mouse where the woman had been. She scurried over to him and let herself into his pocket. Fenris wanted to complain, the thought of having a mage so close to him, _touching_ him without his consent, was repulsive. He didn’t have time to deny her though, Alrik walked in, a cruel smile on his lips.

He sneered at the man, imaging all of the brutal ways he could tear him apart. He would use his bare hands, use the lyrium this Templar wanted so much to really tear the man to shreds. There were so many things he could do to a person, so many ways to hurt them, he didn’t even need his lyrium really. He had learnt many ways to break a man during his time with Danarius. He hated that he knew how to do these things, that he had committed such acts in the past but there was nothing he could do about that now, except for use his skills on people who really deserved it. People like Alrik.

“Having fun? I know your little friend is. Magebane really is a wonderful thing. I wonder how _you_ will react to it.”

Fenris growled at the man. He would show no mercy when it came to ripping him limb from limb.

“I think it’s time for your first dose.” Alrik insisted, grabbing Fenris by his hair and dragging him towards the door. “You want to see the mer, don’t you?"

Fenris scrambled desperately, trying to keep up with Alrik, to relieve the strain the man was putting on his hair. He stumbled out of the room, tripping more than once. Alrik didn’t let him go, just dragged him forwards. Two Templars were standing by the door guarding Anders and when Alrik gestured to them they grabbed Fenris, taking an arm each.

He was dragged forcibly into the next room, his heart beating so loudly he feared the Templars would actually hear it. There, in the middle of the room, strapped to a cold metal cot by heavy leather straps. He almost didn’t recognise the figure. He was so pale, and drenched with sweat. He was as skinny as always, Fenris could see his lower ribs as he heaved desperately. His chest… it was marred with harsh red lines, the wounds looked well cared for but still, very painful. It was Anders, the same man who could barely cook pasta, who chatted cheerfully with the dolphins in his lunchbreaks, who held Fenris’ hand whenever the elf let him. This bright, caring soul had been reduced to a slab of meat, a glorified lab experiment to be cut at, poked and prodded, tested and examined.

Fenris felt his feet drag across the floor. He was being kept upright by the hold of the Templars alone. They stopped just out of reach of the cot and Fenris felt his heart skip a beat when Anders turned his head to look at him.

His movements were slow, as if he were half asleep. Bright amber eyes were now dull and his gaze was unfocused. Fenris could see the slight quirk in his eyebrow, as if he were struggling to focus on the elf. He opened his mouth, unsure of what to say or do, what could he possibly say that wouldn’t sound pathetic? _This is my fault_ , he reminded himself. _Anders wouldn’t be here if not for me_.

Before he could think of anything to say Alrik was there, pouring a violently green liquid down Anders’ throat. He watched helpless as the merman gagged on it and spluttered, drawing in as much breath as he could afterwards before he turned to look at Fenris again. He saw his lips twitch into a little smile. Unexpected and undeserved. Anders actually smiled at him, through the pain and the fear and the torture Anders had seen Fenris and had _smiled_.

Fenris was done waiting.

And so it seemed was Anders.

Suddenly and without warning the merman raised his hand and brought a scalpel down into Alrik’s shoulder.


	36. The Prettiest Hallucination Yet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders thinks he's seeing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a few days. There are two chapters today though so make sure you don't miss one of them.

It was pure chance that Anders’ got his hands on the scalpel. One of the Tranquil had left it on his cot by mistake, a simple error that Anders knew they would be beaten senseless for if anybody found out. They left it just out of reach, but some covert wiggling that he had easily disguised as pain had helped him to get the instrument into his hand.

It took him a long time to actually cut through his bonds. The scalpel was sharp but small, and he had to stop cutting whenever there was anybody close by, or when the pain simply became too much for him. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing this, there was no way he could stage an escape attempt in his condition and yet he cut away at the leather diligently. It wasn’t really about escape anymore, it was about defiance. He was stuck here for the rest of his life, until his heart finally gave out under the stress of the experiments or the Templars decided he would be of more use to them dead than alive. They were going to hurt him no matter how he acted, so he might as well make life as difficult for these bastards as possible.

Once he had actually cut through the bond he had plenty of opportunities to take on the offensive but he had refrained. The only ones who had gotten close to him were the Tranquil and the Circle mages and he would find no satisfaction in hurting them. Maybe killing the Tranquil would be a mercy, Anders certainly would prefer death to Tranquillity, but there was no point in doing so. The Tranquil here seemed to be in endless supply, if he killed one another would appear, and another after that.

He had toyed with the idea of taking the opportunity to finally off himself, to end his own suffering. He had thought long ago that if he was captured again, if there truly was no hope that he would jump at the opportunity to die on his own terms and yet… he found that he really didn’t want to die. He wanted to live, to hold onto that slim hope of one day escaping, of seeing the sea again. He was a fool, but he already knew that. No, he would use this opportunity to fuck with the Templars however he could. He would wait patiently for the perfect opportunity.

Said opportunity came to him in the form of a hallucination. Alrik was real, he had tilted his head back and poured the magebane down his throat himself this time, but Fenris was surely a figment of his imagination. He met the elf’s eyes and couldn’t help but smile. Fenris was being held back by Templars but he looked no worse for ware, except for the worry in his eyes. It had been so long since he had imagined Fenris as anything other than empty and blank, seeing him worry and over him no less… even if the picture wasn’t real it made him smile for the first time since he had been strapped to this blighted cot.

It gave him the courage to act, to finally free his hand from the chaffing leather strap he had cut through and plunge the scalpel into Alrik’s exposed flesh. Alrik had reacted faster than Anders thought was possible, but not fast enough to completely escape. Instead of embedding the scalpel into his neck he stuck it into the flesh between his neck and shoulder. The Templar cried out and stumbled back in surprise, out of Anders’ reach. He had taken the scalpel with him, Anders realised with disappointment. Now he really was defenceless again. It was worth it though, just to see the look of horror and the gush of red that came from the Templar.

Alrik was cursing at him and kicking up a fuss, but Anders couldn’t be bothered to focus on what he actually said, he just waited for restraining hands to be upon him again. He let his head fall back onto the side, away from where Alrik was spitting and cursing and towards the spot where he had imagined Fenris.

His eyes widened at the sight. Fenris was no longer being restrained, he stood with his hand through one of the Templar’s heads, snarling viciously. Next to him… Surana was there, burning the other Templar to a crisp and casting a sleep spell on the Tranquil in the room. He’d imagined a lot of things during his time here, but never anything like this. For one thing he still had legs, he only usually hallucinated like this when he had a tail as the magebane wasn’t as effective in his human form. For another it all seemed so clear, so vivid and so _hopeful_. Part of him wanted to believe that what he was seeing was true, that somebody had actually come to rescue him for the first time in his life. But there was no way both Surana and Fenris were here, this was just a hallucination, a nice dream. If he was imagining this then it was entirely possible that he hadn’t even just stabbed Alrik, maybe his mind had slipped completely and this was all just in his head. It was a nice dream though, one of his better ones. He watched as Fenris pinned the bleeding Alrik to the ground and tore out his heart. Yes, this was a _very nice_ hallucination.

“Oh my god Anders, what have they done to you?” Surana choked, he could hear the panic slipping into her voice.

He felt her hands on the bindings, fiddling with the buckles. That felt real too. He didn’t really pay her any mind, he was far too busy focusing on the man who was suddenly standing over him, cradling his head with his hands. Maker, he was a sight for sore eyes, even if he wasn’t real.

“For a figment of my imagination you’re very pretty. My prettiest hallucination yet.” He slurred.

He saw Surana shaking her head from the corner of his eye.

“He’s not making any sense.”

“I’m no figment of your imagination. We’re here to rescue you.” Fenris reassured him, fingers tracing the sides of his face.

“I was really hoping you’d say that.” He muttered, eyes flittering closed.

He’d not had much sleep since he’d been taken, passing out didn’t really count as a proper rest. Now, in a moment where he was finally being spared from the incessant pain they had been putting him through he wanted nothing more than to sleep. He felt a light tapping on his cheek and he groaned, opening his eyes once more. Why wouldn’t they just let him sleep?

“Anders, you have to stay awake so that we can get out of here. Can you get up?” Fenris asked, his voice full of concern.

Anders blinked and looked down. The straps that were holding him down were now gone. There was nothing holding him down. Experimentally he lifted a leg and found that he wasn’t imagining this, he could really lift his leg off of the cot. He nearly sobbed in relief.

Steady hands guided him into a sitting position as his mind raced. If he was really getting up then this was actually real. Fenris was here, Surana too. They had come to rescue him. He looked up at Fenris in wonderment, bringing a shaky hand up to the back of the elf’s head and drawing him down into a kiss. Fenris complied eagerly, kissing him back. He was really here, Fenris had actually come to rescue him and beyond all odds he had actually saved him.

“You’re really real?”

“I am really real.” Fenris confirmed with a smile. Anders kissed him again.

“You promise?” he asked when he finally broke away to catch his breath.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Anders couldn’t help but smile despite himself, a big goofy grin.

“I love you. I love you so much. Maker’s balls, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Adopt lots of kids. Adopt even more cats. I love you, I love you…” Anders blurted out, smiling through his tears as he rested his forehead on Fenris’.

“I love you too, Anders.” Fenris whispered back and Anders felt his heart soar.

He started to laugh, to giggle like a small child and Fenris looked at him quizzically.

“I’m really glad my last words to you weren’t ‘I need to piss’.” He laughed and after a moment of stunned silence Fenris joined him too, the sound of their laughter mingling pleasantly.

“This is really lovely, really,” Surana cut in, sounding sincerely apologetic. “But we really have to go. Now.”

Anders squinted at her, looking her up and down.

“What are you doing here?” he croaked.

“I’m here to save your sorry arse, that’s why I’m here.” She scolded him crossly, her thick brows knitting together. “We will be having words once we get you out of here.”

He gulped down the fear he was feeling and let the two elves help him to his feet. They were shorter than he was but both of them were strong and had no trouble keeping him up, even when he wobbled and nearly fell flat on his face. It took a moment for the world to right itself, to stop the room from spinning, but once it had Anders found that he was in a slightly better condition than he had thought he was in. He was feverish and sickly still but he at least had the strength to stand and walk on his own. It was a small blessing but a blessing all the same.

“We should get you some clothes.” Surana insisted.

He realised for the first time that he was naked. It hadn’t really bothered him on the table and it certainly didn’t bother him now. He had spent most of his life naked, it had taken him a while to adjust to the fact that he apparently needed to be wearing clothing at all times once he had legs and even now he was more comfortable whilst nude. Surana had been insistent on getting him into the habit of keeping him clothed when she had first found him and she remained insistent even now it would seem. He wasn’t looking forward to wearing a shirt again, even if it would cover these horrible scars he would have to feel the cloth chaffing against his raw flesh and that would _hurt_.

“It’s nothing either of you haven’t seen before.” Anders pouted. He caught Fenris smiling fondly at him even as Surana flushed a shade of bright red.

“You’ll attract a lot less attention clothed.” She reasoned and he sighed. A few moments later Surana was stripping a Templar corpse and shoving the clothes towards Anders. The merman sneered in distaste.

“A disguise is our best bet.” Surana insisted. When he continued to pull a face and refuse the clothing she sighed. “I promise you we will burn these wretched things the second we are out of here. Now put them on. Please.”

He relented and started to don the garments, knowing in his heart that she was right. Fenris helped him into the clothing, reaching places he couldn’t in his current state and making it so he would not have to bend in ways that hurt. The uniform didn’t fit well, Anders was much too tall and skinny for the bulky Templar’s uniform, but it did in a pinch.

After they had dressed Anders Surana insisted that Fenris wear the robes the Tranquil were wearing. As she started to strip one of the sleeping forms Anders felt his stomach twist painfully. He did not want to see Fenris wearing that.

“Can’t he wear a Templar uniform?” he asked, almost pleaded, gesturing to the other dead Templars lying at his feet.

“You know there are no elven Templars, Anders. He’ll be much more convincing if he pretends to be Tranquil. If he can keep that grumpy look off of his face for five minutes.” Surana shot back.

Fenris proceeded to look increasingly moody and Anders felt his heart sink. When Fenris noticed he took Anders by the hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Anders smiled back, even if he didn’t feel like it. This entire thing had been one big nightmare, even his rescue was shaping up to be a traumatic experience. It seemed he simply could not catch a break.

Fenris dressed in the robes that Surana gave him, scowling all the time. The Tranquil had no magic but still dressed in robes as mages would. Anders couldn’t blame the elf for finding his disguise distasteful. When he was done Surana took one of the red pens the Tranquil had been using to document Anders’ condition and drew a sunburst on Fenris’ forehead. The red pen wasn’t very convincing as a tattoo but from a distance you couldn’t tell the difference, and Surana’s expert hand made it look all the more realistic, especially since she was drawing the sunburst from memory.

Fenris caught his appearance in the reflection of the surgery tools laid out beside the cot and looked impressed by Surana’s handywork.

“You’re very good at this.” He commented.

Surana snorted.

“It’s not the first time I’ve disguised somebody as a Tranquil. It’s surprisingly useful.”

She finished and Anders made himself focus on Fenris’ expressions, on the disgust that no Tranquil would ever be able to express. He took a calming breath and tried to distract himself. They had an escape to pull off, he didn’t have time to get emotional over this.

 “What’s the plan then?” Anders asked.

“Well, truthfully I no longer know. We were supposed to wait for a signal from the others. Garrett, Marian and Isabela are here to get Merrill and find us a way out. I agreed we would try to find them should our plans be scuppered however if we cannot locate them…” Fenris trailed off.

“I didn’t know- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Anders began, only to be cut off by Fenris.

“Do not apologise. I would have had to act before they gave me the magebane anyway. Alrik is the one to blame here.” Fenris insisted.

“I cannot believe he gave you that stuff.” Surana hissed. “Are you okay, Anders?”

“Fuck no.” he answered truthfully. “I’m human enough that it’s not killing me, mer enough that it hurts like a bitch.”

There was a moment of silent pity, where no words were grand enough to make the pain go away, but they didn’t have time for this now. They had to go.

“We should get going.” Fenris insisted, leading the way out of the room and into the hallway.


	37. A Damsel In Distress.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio begin their descent.

The floor they were currently on was mostly abandoned, in fact Fenris and Anders were the only ones who had had the honour of being imprisoned there. They had killed the only Templars who were currently on the level, and then they’d knocked out the Tranquil. They would only be discovered when the shifts changed and a new patrol of Templars were to take over. Anders wasn’t sure when that would be but he hoped that they had enough time to get out of there before they found the bodies.

When they opened the doors at the end of the level and saw the spiralling concrete stairs Anders moaned. While the blinding pain was gone his body was still stiff and aching, just looking at those stairs hurt. Fenris immediately gestured for Anders to come to him.

“I will carry you.” He insisted.

Before Anders could weigh the pros and cons of the offer Surana did it for him.

“A Tranquil mage carrying a Templar is going to look suspicious. What if we run into someone?” Surana huffed.

Fenris looked her dead in the eye.

“You can use your witchcraft make them sleep.” He suggested with a wave of his hand.

“And cause ourselves unnecessary problems? What if they attract more Templars? I only have so much mana, I can’t put every damned Templar in this sodding place to sleep.” She pointed out.

“Surana is right, love. It’s too risky. I’ll be fine, thank you for offering to help me.” Anders consoled him with a small smile, bending down to plant a light, affectionate kiss on the top of his head. Fenris looked troubled but made no argument.

They moved slowly, and Anders face burned with exertion and embarrassment. Maybe he was not doing as well as he had first believed, walking for a short time had been fine but taking what felt like a million flights of stairs was torture. He was already out of breath and in a considerable amount of pain when he looked down the endless spiral of stairs only to see that they weren’t even a third of the way down yet. He wanted to cry. It didn’t help that Surana and Fenris were watching him nervously, witnessing every grimace and catching every pathetic hitch in his breath.

He was grateful when they suggested taking a break, he let himself flop onto the cold, concrete step without so much as a word. These stairs were a terrible challenge, however taking them was the easy part. He hadn’t even participated in the actual act of escaping and he was already flagging. He could see from the worried looks that Surana and Fenris were exchanging that this was concerning them too.

“I’m sorry.” Anders hissed. He didn’t want to be a burden but the fact of the matter was that his body had just gone through a lot of trauma and he hadn’t had the time to rest it off yet. It was a miracle he had been able to get up and walk around at all really.

Before the others could respond they heard a door open from just below them and the three of them shared a meaningful look. Surana grabbed the two of them and spoke low, her eyes intense.

“Anders, you are escorting the two of us to the store room. I want a rod of fire and Fenris is here to help me fetch it. Fenris, as a Tranquil mage it is your job to run the store room, if anybody asks you tell them that. Do not show any expression, okay? Not even a twitch.” Surana demanded before shoving Fenris behind Anders and standing in front of the merman herself, her head bowed. She led them down the stairs slowly.

They could hear the sound of footsteps approaching them and Anders’ heart began to race. If they were lucky whoever it was that they had just heard would pass them by without a second glance, if they were unlucky (which they usually were) then they would be stopped by whoever it was and Surana and Fenris would have to fight. That could be noisy, or messy and it could easily attract the attention of more Templars. Anders tried to keep his footing steady, tried to look as nonchalant as possible as he prayed to Andraste that they would pass in peace.

Anders couldn’t hide his astonishment when the people heading up the stairs finally came into view. It was Marian Hawke, openly weeping as she clung to Cullen, who was guiding her tentatively up the stairs. When the Templar looked up and noticed the three of them he looked just as shocked as Anders felt. They hadn’t exactly made an effort to keep quiet and yet Cullen had somehow missed their presence entirely. Evidently he was too distracted by the attractive woman sobbing into his chest. He was completely red faced as he looked at them, then to the weeping woman pawing at him in his arms, then at them again.

Marian seemed to have noticed that they had stopped and peered up at them, the shock registering in her face for only a moment before she looked convincingly distraught once more.

“I uh… This woman needs- I mean-“ Cullen stuttered nervously before Marian bodily pressed herself against him to get his attention.

“Please Cullen, I- I don’t want to talk to anyone else right now, please, can we just go somewhere private…” she pleaded. She was acting so unlike herself, sucking up to a man Anders knew she had no love for and playing the damsel.

She was trying to distract him and so far it was working. He was completely flustered, unsure what to do with the woman in his arms. From the one time Anders had seen the man he knew that Cullen had a soft spot for Marian. Right now she was using that affection, trying to keep his attention. Anders hoped it was enough, that he would remain flustered enough to ignore the obvious. If the Templar didn’t recognise Anders he would defiantly remember Fenris. His stark white hair and tattoos made his presence very noticeable. Fortunately he was standing behind Anders’ tall, imposing form and was able to shield his body from Cullen for the time being. Anders had no such protection, Surana may be in front of him but the woman was astoundingly small even for an elf, she did nothing to hide his face. He hoped that the embarrassment of being caught by a co-worker with a woman clinging to him was enough to impair Cullen’s judgement.

It wasn’t.

After a moment he blinked up at Anders, then his eyes flickered to Fenris who was practically hiding behind the merman at this point. His face scrunched up in confusion but before he could truly recognise them Marian sighed and grabbed him, pressing a cloth up to his face. He yelped in surprise and thrashed in her grip but Marian had a good hold on him and nothing he could do could shake her off. Everyone watched as the Templar slowly stopped struggling, his eyes rolling into the back of his head before his entire body went limp.

“For fuck’s sake…” Marian muttered to herself, catching Cullen so he wouldn’t take a rather nasty tumble down the stairs and laying him gently down. She gave his unconscious form an appraising look then kicked him, just to make sure he was really out of it. When he remained dead to the world she finally looked up at the three of them.

Without a word she stepped past Surana and brought Anders into a hug. Somehow she knew to be gentle and Anders was grateful. He hugged her back, enjoying the affection for a moment, letting himself relax just a little. Once again Marian Hawke knew exactly what to do.

She pulled back and smiled softly at him, tucking a lose strand of his hair behind his ear and pulling a hair tie from her wrist. She presented him with it and he took it with a small thanks, tying the wayward, sweaty strands of hair out of his face. It was nice, it made him feel cleaner, more like himself. Marian’s hair was too short to really need tying back so she had brought it specifically for him, a small but well appreciated gesture that Anders wouldn’t soon forget.

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” Marian said to him before giving Fenris a serious nod and turning towards Surana.

“Who is this?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re one of Anders’ friends, I’m assuming? I’m Surana, I’m also a friend of Anders’.” The elven mage introduced herself, holding out a hand for Marian to shake.

Marian nodded slowly and took her hand. Anders had only mentioned Surana in passing to his friends and never by name. Only Fenris knew about her. He didn’t have time to explain this now though, he had questions of his own and a time limit.

“What was that just now, with Cullen?” he asked, gesturing to the unconscious Templar at his feet.

“It was part of the escape plan.” Fenris explained. “Varric gave me up to the Templars for coin and Marian gave Garrett into the Circle under the pretence that his magic was out of control.”

“I played the broken hearted sister, called up Cullen one day crying, saying Garrett was being plagued by demons, that I had nowhere else to turn.” She explained dramatically, a hand to her forehead like a damsel. “Cullen’s a textbook knight in shining armour, he couldn’t say no to a pretty girl. I turned Garrett in today and asked to talk to Cullen about it, _alone_. He was taking me up to his office for a private chat.”

“That was dangerous, Marian. You know how Templars-“ Anders scolded before Marian cut him off with a scoff.

“Cullen may hate mages but he’s a sucker for a pretty face. Even if he could have hurt me, which he couldn’t, I don’t think he would have tried anything. He’s far too chivalrous for all that. Besides, Izzy would have gutted him if he had somehow managed to get one up on me.” Marian assured them.

“Where is Isabela?” Fenris inquired, looking around for their friend.

“She snuck in behind me. I think she was trailing us, I mean I’m pretty sure she was… psst… Izzy!” Marian called quietly, searching for her girlfriend.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Isabela seemed to materialise from nowhere. Somehow she had gotten above them, which was odd considering she was supposed to be trailing behind Marian, but Anders didn’t question it. Isabela had her ways, if she wanted something badly enough she could do whatever it took, and you wouldn’t know she had done it until it was too late. It was just like that time she had stolen his camera. He had been sure it was secure and yet it had ended up in Isabela’s hands anyway. She was sneaky when she wanted to be, but her boisterous personality helped her to hide that fact well.

She peeked out from above them in the stairwell and waved manically at them. Within moments she was trotting silently down to meet them. She went to Marian first, sweeping her off of her feet and spinning her around in a bear hug. Then it was Anders’ turn to be man handled, she swept him into a tight hug, though her grip was a little lighter than usual. It made him grimace. He really must look like death if Isabela was going easy on him.

“Hello, sweet thing. I’ve missed you.” She crooned at him in a way that forced Anders to smile.

“Please tell me you people have a plan B.” Surana piped up, her face tight with unease. Anders flashed her a reassuring smile which looked more like a scowl thanks to the pain shooting through his overused limbs.

“Who is this?” Isabela muttered to Marian, who explained the situation to her in a hushed whisper. Once she was up to date Surana voiced her question again and the lot of them were silent in quiet contemplation.

“Well Varric’s ready to break us out at the drop of a hat, all we have to do is find Merrill and Garrett and we’re good to go. Last I heard from him both he and Merrill were on the seventh floor, so we just have to fetch them before the Templars realise that Anders and Fenris are gone. How long do we have, exactly? Until they notice you’re missing?” Marian asked.

“We have no idea.” Fenris admitted.

“Brilliant. Best make this quick then.” Marian responded cheerfully. “But… I was going to try to convince Cullen to take me to Garrett, now that he’s unconscious I have no excuse for being here.”

“Who’s going to fetch them then?” Isabela asked, looking from person to person.

“I would go by myself but I have no idea what your friends look like and I doubt they would blindly follow a mouse.” Surana murmured.

“A mouse?” Marian asked.

“I can shapeshift.” Surana admitted casually.

“Oh… they would defiantly follow a magical mouse, the both of them would.” Marian assured her. Anders could all too easily imagine an over excited Merrill and Garrett giving the magical mouse chase, but that wouldn’t help get them past the Templars.

“Anders is dressed as a Templar, he could get them easily.” Isabela pointed out.

“Anders is in no condition to do this.” Fenris insisted, but Anders only shook his head.

“No, she’s right. The rest of you won’t fit in their uniforms, I barely do. I’ll take one of the girls with me and we’ll go and fetch them.” Anders sighed.

“I shall come with you.” Fenris asserted, only for Anders to shake his head again.

“No, you’re too obvious, you’ll attract way too much attention. You wait here with the others, I will get Merrill and Garrett. The Templars on the lower levels won’t have seen me, I should be fine.”

Fenris looked like he wanted to argue, his expression was heartbreaking. Honestly Anders didn’t want to leave him either, he wanted to press himself to Fenris’ side and cry until he fell to sleep. He didn’t have time to be so pathetic yet, he could have his little break down later. Right now his friends needed him.

“I will go with Anders, since I am the most appropriately dressed.” Surana insisted, gesturing to the mage robes she was wearing. They were the Circle standard, something Anders knew she always wore when “visiting” a Circle, just in case she needed to blend in the traditional way.

Marian nodded both she and Isabela grabbed Cullen by the arms.

“There’s a little broom closet up two floors from here. We’ll hide in there. Come and get us once you’re ready to go.” Isabela informed them before dragging Marian away. Fenris gave Anders one last heart-breaking look and then he turned too, following Marian and Isabela up the stairs and leaving Anders and Surana to their task.


	38. The Great Escape: Part I.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go according to plan. And then they don't.

They waited quietly in the cramped confines of the cupboard together. Cullen lay in a heap at their feet, Marian and Isabela were pressed together, whispering sweet nothings and quiet comforts to one another while Fenris seethed in the corner. Anders was downstairs, with only Surana for guidance. While she was more than capable she was one mage against an entire building of people who trained specifically to subdue magic. Sending the two of them downstairs alone was a risk, but it was a risk they had to take if they wanted Garrett and Merrill back. As much as Fenris wanted Anders safe there was no way Fenris could sacrifice the rest of his friends. Even the blood witch deserved better than a life in the Circle surrounded by Templars, even if they would keep her in check. She had tried to help Anders when it was in her best interest to run and Fenris would return the favour.

They were in that tiny stockroom for what felt like an eternity, it was a shock when the door suddenly opened on them. Isabela was there in a second, knives in hand, ready to slice the intruder open. She took a step back instantly when she recognised the spectacularly bearded face of Garrett Hawke. Marian pushed past the lot of them and threw herself into her brother’s arms, and he hugged her back. The picture was almost enough to make Fenris smile, however Anders’ absence kept his expression in a firm frown.

“Everybody else is downstairs, Anders didn’t look in any condition to climb anymore stairs…” Garrett whispered, looking concerned as his eyes wandered down to his feet.

Fenris cursed in Tevene and pushed past everybody, taking the stairs two at a time. By the time he reached Anders his frown had become more of a grimace. He looked even worse than when Fenris had let him go.

“Love-“ Anders began as Fenris reached up to put a gentle hand to his forehead. He was sweaty and pale, a worrying sight to say the least.

“How did you even get past the Templars like this? Fasta vass, you look like a ghost!” Fenris hissed.

“Said it was lyrium withdrawals.” Anders rasped, a little smile on his face. “I’ll be fine. Just get us out of here.”

At this point Anders was resting most of his weight on Fenris, whether he was doing it purposefully Fenris didn’t know but he expected it wasn’t intentional. Anders was running himself into the ground as always, doing his best to help, to avoid being a burden. It was maddening.

“Come on, let’s get moving. I’ve already called Varric.” Marian urged them, leading Merrill down the stairs by the hand.

The little blood mage looked small and pale, even more so than usual, but didn’t look too bad considering. She was wearing Circle robes which seemed out of place on her diminutive frame, but she was nowhere near as poorly off as Anders was. Carver’s crush on her seemed to have served her well. Fenris wondered if Marian had let him know about their relationship or whether she had kept quiet about it for Merrill’s sake. It didn’t really matter, it was none of Fenris’ business. Things had turned out for the best regardless of how the Hawke family had handled things.

Nobody complained this time when Fenris scooped up Anders, holding him in his arms bridal style. Anders pressed his face into the crook of Fenris’ neck and took a shaky breath as Fenris carried him down the stairs in pursuit of the others. They descended with little incident, there was one run in with a stray Templar, but they dealt with him quickly and efficiently. Fortunately the Templar had been too shocked to make any noise, he certainly didn’t expect anyone in mage’s robes to go in for a physical attack, certainly not a mage as physically imposing as Garrett Hawke was. Even Fenris had flinched when Garrett’s fist has connected with the young Templar’s face.

They could hear a commotion coming from the floors below them and Anders pressed himself impossibly closer to Fenris, his eyes full of fear, but Fenris only smiled at him confidently. This was a part of the plan, a brilliant part that they had Varric to thank for.  Somehow the dwarf had found out about a highly illegal deal the Templars in the Kirkwall Circle were involved in. There was a great deal of red lyrium in the building apparently, a highly toxic and illegal substance. Varric had tipped off the local police and between him and Isabela they had managed to call in a few favours that meant that the raid that would go down would happen on Varric’s signal. What kinds of terrible, illegal and highly expensive things they had to do to pull this off Fenris didn’t know, and quite frankly he wanted to keep it that way.

While the Templars dealt with the police they would make their escape. They had a few escape routes planned, Fenris wasn’t quite sure which one Marian was leading them towards but he was too preoccupied to concern himself with that when Marian seemed to be handling everything herself perfectly well enough. Strong he may be but carrying a fully grown man, even one as light as Anders, down many flights of stairs was still a strain on him. It was nothing he couldn’t handle, but it wasn’t exactly the easiest of tasks either.

 They were getting close to the bottom floor, they were maybe three or four stories up when everything went to shit.


End file.
